One question...what I would ask my EX-husband if I had the chance

[sistersage]

Just one question...
Current mood:  satisfied
Category: Blogging

If I could ask just one question and have it answered, it would be...What did I do to make you hate me so much? In the end I figure it was all self gratification.  What, I wouldn't let you stay and watch my TV, I wouldn't pay your bills, clean your house, cook your meals? Did you ever really care about me at all or was I just the next idiot that fell for your kindness and assumed that you really meant the things you said.  I feel sorry for the next one because she too will think that you love her and the whole time you will just be using her, as you used me.  Still, I want to know.  What did I do to deserve what you put me through? Everything that I once thought about you, the good memories, the times we spent together, it means nothing to me now.  You destroyed somthing was beautiful and for what?  For you own selfish needs, thats what.  Now I am left alone, caring for these kids alone and I know that I will never get any help, never see a dime and you don't care.  Not that you ever cared anyway.  You know what really gets me. When I said that I was moving out, you never said no. Please don't. I love you, I love my kids.  I don't want you to go.  You NEVER said I don't want you to go! Do you recall what you said? You said "Who is going to pay the bills, how am I going to eat?" That's all you said to me and that in itself broke my heart.  When you started crying that day, it wasn't because I was moving out or the kids were moving out, it was because you were so stressed about not knowing how you were going to pay your bills, you were worried about losing the house.  Why didn't you worry about losing me!? Why didn't you care? It was too much work to try and keep our relationship together so you told me to leave if that's what I wanted to do, you weren't going to try and stop me.  You flat out did not care.  No, I don't hate you.  I never did.  In fact I feel sorry for you because you don't know what you have done, what you have lost.  I am struggeling, I barely have enough to get by, but I make it.  I cut back, I go without, but I make it on my own because that's what I have to do.  Because I am a responsible adult, because I care about my kids, and no matter what you think or what you tell people, I am a good mother! I do more for my children than you could ever imagine.  I work to the point of exhaustion for them, to make a better life for them and for myself, and I do it all without YOU!

[Fordmomma]

Oct. 22, 2009 at 12:38 PM

You go girl!! He sounds like a real SOB. I'm sorry about the things he didn't say and they way he is to your kids it is really unfair. Your doing a great job just keep it up and someday you'll find a king that treats you royal.