We didn't get to go

[MOmomof8]

Our car didn't get fixed today.  They have shipped the part & it should have been here by 1 pm but it wasn't.  If it had, we would've picked up our car & left by 5 pm at the latest.  We didn't get the van we wanted.  Even with a cosigner.  But we aren't done with it yet.  They only went through one bank so we are trying another.  I have to admit that I'm the problem.  I should have cleaned up my credit report months ago.  It still shows 2 student loans with one being current & the other being past due 90 days.  I haven't had a student loan since I moved down here 6 years ago.  They were all paid off at that point.  I should have known those would cause a problem cause I had a hard time getting them to send me a letter showing they were paid off.  Since it's been 6 years, I have already through the letter away.  There is another account that is on it that shouldn't be.  So I guess I'll be getting my butt in gear now to fix it.  I am such a procrastinator.  I've had a problem with it all my life.  I try really hard to change but just can't seem to lick it. 

I had printed off some pictures to take to my inlaws.  Rose seen them & went through them saying who it was. I had a picture of my 8 year old granddaughter, who she has never met, & she knew who it was.  I don't think she's made the connection with my son but she is only 3.  I printed a picture of my oldest son & Nathan told her he was mean.  He prides himself on being mean, afterall his nickname is bear.  So now she calls him uncle meany.  I remember on time they were here & rose was at my mom's too.  Nagi, my oldest son's son, would drag her around by the hand.  It was so cute.  She keeps getting Chris & Eli mixed up.  Her mom told her to call him Elias which is easier for her to say for some reason.  Monday, Eli & his parents was here.  It was the first time I seen him walking.  They are so cute at that age.  I can't believe he is already a year old.  He has weaned himself from mommy.  I'll have to buy him a sippy cup to have here.  I try to keep a few around.  Ours keeps being taken upstairs so we are down to just one.  I'm sure if Rose is here when Eli or Chris is here, she may have a fit if they drink out of hers.  I need to get one more for JJ.  My son, Nick, always had his own cup.  It was red cause that was his favorite color.  Nathan's favorite color was red until Nick decided that was his favorite too.  Now Nathan says his favorite color is orange.  My oldest son, Travis, liked green until he became a teenager, then it turned to green.  My dh & I both like purple the best, made it easier for me to be able to decorate with purple in our bedroom.  But my dh lets me do most anything I want any ways.  I watched my stepdad wait on my mom for years.  Now I have a dh like that.  He will even get up & go get me something if I ask.  He values my thoughts about things, too.  I've never had a hubby like that.  In fact, my 2nd husband would tell me I was stupid or something whenever I spoke my thoughts.  He even did it in front of his friends.  I can't believe I was married to him for 11 years.  What's sad is that I would still be with him if I hadn't had cancer.  He left me after my chemo treatments were over & I returned to work.  Nice guy, huh?  But I have to watch what I say about him in front of my youngest son, that's his dad.  I let things slip sometimes & he asks me to stop so I do.  I think he is afraid he is like his dad.  He is in some ways but not those ways. 

I need to post new pictures of all the kids.  I have a few pictures of my oldest son that you will be able to see why he is uncle meany.  I also have more grandkids now that I need to add pictures of.  I am so glad they come up with digital cameras bc I wouldn't be able to have so many pictures.  My oldest son hates to have his picture taken.  I have had to fight him & trick him to get a picture of him.  But his 4 year old son, Nagi, gets hold of a camera & his daddy lets him take his picture.  He is another one that is so cute but he has a lot of energy.  He reminds me of his Uncle Nick.  He was full of energy too.  Travis was my calmest one.  He always took things slow, in his own time.  I'll never forget when he was 2 & Nathan was maybe 6 months.  Travis had this big stuffed dog.  He was playing in his room & would run out to me every once in awhile to update me on his dogs surgery.  I didn't think anything about it but when he kept doing it, I thought I better check on what he was doing.  I went into his room & the stuffing of the dog was all over the place.  I couldn't believe it but he didn't get punished.  I was laughing way too hard to give out any punishment.  I grabbed my camera & took pictures of him standing in the middle of the room with stuffing, which looked like snow, all over his room.  I did make him help me clean it up.   I can't believe that he would do everything for Nathan then but now he isn't speaking to him.  This isn't the first time.  I think I've only had the two of them in the same room a handful of times since they grew up.  Nick gets along with them both, thank God.  It's funny how memories just pop up sometimes.  I think today it's bc I need a Travis fix.  When I first moved down here, he would call every few days.  His wife said that he needed his mommy fix.  Mommy needs those fixes too.  I wanted so bad to talk to Nick last weekend.  I left 4 or 5 messages, I texted him but never could get hold of him.  Then he comes over on Monday, only bc he had some business to take care of in town.  But I will take it anyway.  Today I was just messing with my cell & found a text from him last weekend saying  Mom call me please, I love & miss you.  I could have cried.  I am in the crying mood anyway this week.  I have missed my mom alot this week, too.  It's nice to get text messages like that from your grown child.  Nathan & Nick have always been closer to me than Travis has.  Travis was always my mom's.  But I thought that was changing before I moved.  He started talking to me more than to my mom. He hasn't spoken to me since March 20th.  I have called his cell phone just to hear his voice.  Now that his wife is talking to me again, I feel better but I still would like to talk to him. 

Well, that's all I have for tonight.  I am worn out worrying about this trip.  We were taking Rose with us bc her parents work & I am their babysitter.  This would be the first time my inlaws got to see one of their grandchildren in the flesh.  Maybe next time we will take her.  My dh says we will take her to Cape to see the Mississippi River.  That was something he had planned to do with her in Hannibal.  We'll just make a day of it since she was looking forward to traveling with us.  Ok, now I'm done.