He left his son to take care of another woman's 3 children..

[kim8901]

My Ex left my son and I about a year and a half ago...  He was not the type of man that was ready to settle down, and be a family. He always chose his darts, friends, other family members and drinking over us.. Now he has told me that he has a girlfriend that has 3 daughters... To me that is a slap in the face to me and my son.. My 8 yr old cried when he heard that. So I haven't let his father see him, not that he really ever did anyway.. The only thing his dad would do for him is take him shopping and to appointments every now and then for me.. He isn't really there for him. My son has a great step father that is there for him. He snuggles my son up every night in bed. He taught him to ride with out training wheels, he tought him about football, He taught him how to bait a hook and cast. I have a great man in my life that wants to be my son's father, when his real dad is just worried about himself. Am I doing wrong by not letting his dad see him. I grew up with a real dad that would break so many promises and would only come around once in a while and he would be drunk... My step dad was great to me,, and helped to make me the good person I am today. I do have anger towards my ex.. I don't want him back, but I also don't wish him happiness, and I don't want anyone else to have him either... He wasn't raised in a family enviroment so he doesn't know what having a family means... He is 39 yrs old and still parties all the time, spends the nights at his guy friends houses.. and drinks alot.. I need as many opinions or as much advice as I can get.. I need to know if my son not seeing his dad is the best thing. I have to protect my son in any way I can.. His dad makes empty promises and I have to be there to dry the tears.. I can't see that pain anymore... Please tell me what you think....

[goatmom4]

Oct. 23, 2009 at 12:04 PM

prayers

[CheshireHope]

Oct. 23, 2009 at 12:47 PM

I'm so sorry this is so long... but it stirred up some old hurt memories.

this is going to b rough on you all( maybenot yur son'a "bio-dad" but on your family).  this is alot like what happenedto me. i had 2 little boys with my ex-boyfriend, he left me(we moved out ofstae away from hs parents) and he got on a plane and flew riht out of my oldest son's life and my life when i was 8 months pregnant but he said we were still a couple whenhe left tha he neededto gt on is feet 1st. a month aftr my 2n child was born he posted all over online wesites tht he broke up with me. didn't find this out until thanksgiving day.. but in 2006 when my my 2nd child was 9 mnths old i got marrie to my dh. he too is a wonder father to our children. then a year and almost to the day of when i got married, i found out that my ex-boyfriend got married to a girl with 2 little boys from he 1st marriage and a third(his third child!!!). My oldes 2 children don't even know my ex(their "bio-dad"!) Which thats blamed on me because i moved out of state and didn't follow im back to his parents house like a lost puppy.we lve in the same freaking town now of over ayear and he has seen my oldest 2 a grand total of 5 times! b-days have came and went and not even a b-day card! its been 8 months sine my ex has seen my oldest two now, and that because i mention childsupport he disappeared.

my children are completelty happy with their step father, they are alway goofing off together, and playing triks on me. like your husband my dh has been there for my oldest 2 for everythng even when our oldes tstarted school.

it boils down to you can not force force te "bio-dad" to  be a father figure to your son. but if he is still going out getting drunk ten my pesonal opinion is i wouldn't take that chance with my chid's saftey. if you think you have to file for child support(i've filed twice and my ex dodges every freakin time!) my ex remove himself from my children's lives and i don't try to force him to be mor involved.

just try to remind your son that he is specail and he hasbot you and his step-father that love him more than the world will ever know.

if "bio-dad" doesn't want to be around thats his decision and you can't make him do anything he doesn't want to.

i don't feel you are wrong for wanting your child to around him right nw due to having his feeling hurt but that could also be used against you if he decised to push the issue in court, saying "brain washing". "withholding the child" (these ar al things that my ex and his wife have said to me in emails. RESEARCH THE LAWS!! you never know when ou need them.

[kkbird]

Oct. 23, 2009 at 1:05 PM

Ya know some men are just SHIT ...... anybody thats going to abandon a mother and his child then turn around and "hook up" with some junky chic and her kids so that he still get laid and drink to sloppiness without taking on responsibility SHOULDN'T have the right to see the kids.  No support and they are happy and just FINE with out him.   I'd tell him to stop making promises to this child/ren and crawl back underneath the slosh bucket with ole'girl and hers.   Good luck.

It really upsets me that men can just so easily go on to another and leave their kids with out a care in the world, all for some drink & tail..... it amazes me .....