venting, gotta get this out

[Am17]

so i just got out of a 4 year relationship about 2 weeks ago, it ended bc he was never here, always going out, and acted like i barely existed, we always fought, he didnt trust me, hed go through MY myspace and facebook on MY computer, check the phone bill to see who i was talking to. it was rediculous. we've been trying to make this work for so long

at first it wasnt so hard to deal with but now its like the more time that passes, the more upset i get and every other emotion is stronger. i feel like i shouldnt be getting upset bc im letting everyone down.

i did the child support paper work online this week bc i cant afford to pay daycare all by myself(which he has never given me money to help pay) plus pay my sister who watched DS after he gets home from daycare till i get home from work which is about an hr on week days and 6 or so hrs saturdays and sundays and im off 2 days a week.

i know hes gonna get mad about that but he cant keep being selfish like that,

ive got a long road ahead of myself and im so scared. its going to be hard doing this on my own, i cant sleep at night bc im so used to having someone next to me in that big ole queen size bed.

i wish i knew if this was really the right thing to do and if its really whats best.

im so lost,confused and hurt  :(

sorry this got so long and thanks for listening

[kkbird]

Oct. 24, 2009 at 3:29 PM

you did do the right thing.  If he is going to come and go as he pleases and accuse YOU of do things, trying to catch u doing things then looks like HE"S doing things.  enjoy your bed and thank god since he always goes out,,,that u don't have to worry about if he's coming home or if he's got something ....   chin up girly, look out for you and your child/ren.  he should help pay support for his kid/s.  you've got the MOST responsibilty for being the parent, he doesn't.  He is only thinking of himself and his needs/wants.  Good luck to ya

[Am17]

Oct. 24, 2009 at 9:07 PM

thank you  <3

(Original Poster)

[tdmag]

Nov. 1, 2009 at 6:28 PM

I have been through divorce and being a single working mom, it was really hard but if I can do it you can too :)

 Playing the feild for the first time in years can be fun too, lol.