Homeschooling: Does this answer your questions?

[Bethsunshine]

I didn't write this, but I wish I had, because it sure sums up my thoughts when I get questioned and judged about my decision to homeschool!! I added a few thoughts of my own at the end.

 

1 Please stop asking us if it's legal. If it is - and it is - it's insulting to imply that we're criminals. And if we were criminals, would we admit it?

2 Learn what the words "socialize" and "socialization" mean, and use the one you really mean instead of mixing them up the way you do now. Socializing means hanging out with other people for fun. Socialization means having acquired the skills necessary to do so successfully and pleasantly. If you're talking to me and my kids, that means that we do in fact go outside now and then to visit the other human beings on the planet, and you can safely assume that we've got a decent grasp of both concepts.

3 Quit interrupting my kid at her dance lesson, scout meeting, choir practice, baseball game, art class, field trip, park day, music class, 4H club, or soccer lesson to ask her if as a homeschooler she ever gets to socialize.

4 Don't assume that every homeschooler you meet is homeschooling for the same reasons and in the same way as that one homeschooler you know.

5 If that homeschooler you know is actually someone you saw on TV, either on the news or on a "reality" show, the above goes double.

6 Please stop telling us horror stories about the homeschoolers you know, know of, or think you might know who ruined their lives by homeschooling. You're probably the same little bluebird of happiness whose hobby is running up to pregnant women and inducing premature labor by telling them every ghastly birth story you've ever heard. We all hate you, so please go away.

7 We don't look horrified and start quizzing your kids when we hear they're in public school. Please stop drilling our children like potential oil fields to see if we're doing what you consider an adequate job of homeschooling.

8 Stop assuming all homeschoolers are religious.

9 Stop assuming that if we're religious, we must be homeschooling for religious reasons.

10 We didn't go through all the reading, learning, thinking, weighing of options, experimenting, and worrying that goes into homeschooling just to annoy you. Really. This was a deeply personal decision, tailored to the specifics of our family. Stop taking the bare fact of our being homeschoolers as either an affront or a judgment about your own educational decisions.

11 Please stop questioning my competency and demanding to see my credentials. I didn't have to complete a course in catering to successfully cook dinner for my family; I don't need a degree in teaching to educate my children. If spending at least twelve years in the kind of chew-it-up-and-spit-it-out educational facility we call public school left me with so little information in my memory banks that I can't teach the basics of an elementary education to my nearest and dearest, maybe there's a reason I'm so reluctant to send my child to school.

12 If my kid's only six and you ask me with a straight face how I can possibly teach him what he'd learn in school, please understand that you're calling me an idiot. Don't act shocked if I decide to respond in kind.

13 Stop assuming that because the word "home" is right there in "homeschool," we never leave the house. We're the ones who go to the amusement parks, museums, and zoos in the middle of the week and in the off-season and laugh at you because you have to go on weekends and holidays when it's crowded and icky.

14 Stop assuming that because the word "school" is right there in homeschool, we must sit around at a desk for six or eight hours every day, just like your kid does. Even if we're into the "school" side of education - and many of us prefer a more organic approach - we can burn through a lot of material a lot more efficiently, because we don't have to gear our lessons to the lowest common denominator.

15 Stop asking, "But what about the Prom?" Even if the idea that my kid might not be able to indulge in a night of over-hyped, over-priced revelry was enough to break my heart, plenty of kids who do go to school don't get to go to the Prom. For all you know, I'm one of them. I might still be bitter about it. So go be shallow somewhere else.

16 Don't ask my kid if she wouldn't rather go to school unless you don't mind if I ask your kid if he wouldn't rather stay home and get some sleep now and then.

17 Stop saying, "Oh, I could never homeschool!" Even if you think it's some kind of compliment, it sounds more like you're horrified. One of these days, I won't bother disagreeing with you any more.

18 If you can remember anything from chemistry or calculus class, you're allowed to ask how we'll teach these subjects to our kids. If you can't, thank you for the reassurance that we couldn't possibly do a worse job than your teachers did, and might even do a better one.

19 Stop asking about how hard it must be to be my child's teacher as well as her parent. I don't see much difference between bossing my kid around academically and bossing him around the way I do about everything else.

20 Stop saying that my kid is shy, outgoing, aggressive, anxious, quiet, boisterous, argumentative, pouty, fidgety, chatty, whiny, or loud because he's homeschooled. It's not fair that all the kids who go to school can be as annoying as they want to without being branded as representative of anything but childhood.

21 Quit assuming that my kid must be some kind of prodigy because she's homeschooled.

22 Quit assuming that I must be some kind of prodigy because I homeschool my kids.

23 Quit assuming that I must be some kind of saint because I homeschool my kids.

24 Stop talking about all the great childhood memories my kids won't get because they don't go to school, unless you want me to start asking about all the not-so-great childhood memories you have because you went to school.

25 Here's a thought: If you can't say something nice about homeschooling, shut up!

More about Issue #1

Home

Secular Homeschooling magazine
Current Issue | Issue List
Purchase/Subscribe
Calls for materials | Advertise | E-mail me
Homeschooler Resources

Secular Homeschooling Press
Don't worry!

The Editor's Blog
Diary of a Mad Editor

Here are a few thoughts of my own:

26. Don't ask my children if they like being homeschooled. Do I ask YOUR children if they like going to public school? On some days, if you ask my children if they like being homeschooled, they will probably tell you no. That's probably because I made them rewrite their paper because it was too messy, or made them do extra math problems because they weren't getting the concept. Or it may be because they woke up on the wrong side of the bed that day.On the other hand, however, on most days, they will probably tell you they LIKE being homeschooled. They're kids, they're human, they have good days and bad days like everyone else. I know that's a shock.

27. Don't ask me how long I plan on homeschooling my children. As of right now, I plan on doing it until they go to college. After all, I taught them how to eat from a spoon, tie their shoes, and use the potty, so quite honestly, the teaching never really stops.

28. When you see us at the grocery store during the day, on a weekday, don't assume we're not doing schoolwork. We can turn a trip to the grocery store into a math and reading class just like that!!! What's even more amazing, is that we can actually have FUN !!!! ( GASP!!)

[sati769leigh]

Oct. 25, 2009 at 2:43 PM

why are you being so defensive if you dont feel at all bad about homeschooling?

[Bethsunshine]

Oct. 25, 2009 at 3:07 PM

If you got questioned and attacked for your decision every time you turned around, you'd be defensive too.

(Original Poster)

[Arianna]

Oct. 25, 2009 at 11:30 PM

Sati...I do not feel that she was getting defensive...the things posted are legitimate questions that arise ALOT by people who have no clue about how homeschooling works.  It gets old when damn near everyone who doesn't homeschool questions why we do homeschool. 

Half the time those questions are presented in such a way as to suggest that we are mindless buffoons who lock their kids away from society and care nothing for their well being.

So, this has nothing to do with being defensive.  It has everything to do with being fed up with the idiocy of some non homeschooling people who like to imply that we are horrible parents for choosing to homeschool our kids.

Arianna

[mancosmomma]

Oct. 25, 2009 at 11:52 PM

Sati, this post REEKS of sarcasm, not defensiveness.  I understand sarcasm is difficult to get for many people, but it IS funny. 

Great post, Beth.  I LOVE your add-ons.  Can't tell you how many people ask "Are you still homeschooling?" if they haven't spoken to me in a while.  I've started answering "Yes, and are your kids still in public school or have you decided to homeschool them yet?"  (more sarcasm, lol)

And of course I've taught my kids to answer the question "Why aren't you in school?" with "Why aren't you at work?" lol

 

[momrocks1000]

Oct. 26, 2009 at 4:36 PM

Hello! I homeschooled mine for the past 8 ys. I have seen this before and also really liked it.  It's never ceased to amaze me how ALL the questions we were ALWAYS asked could be summed up w/this article!  Homeschoolers get it, others may not... but I just wanted to chime in w/my support!  HOMESCHOOLERS ROCK!   I miss it....

but thanks for the memories!

[momrocks1000]

Oct. 26, 2009 at 4:37 PM

OOps I just read my post and I meant to say 6 not 8 yrs. Not that it matters, just keeping in real!

[MrsHart6]

Oct. 30, 2009 at 10:41 AM

I would like to add a number 29 if I may?

29,  Stop assuming that because we're a Christian family that homeschools,  we are part of some cult and are trying to brainwash our kids.  Every other parent on this planet teaches their kids their own morals and definitions of right and wrong,  how are we any different?