Seperation Anxiety.

[go_romanovs]

You close the bathroom door and she screams, you have to cook and she screams, you try to leave her in the nursery and she screams screams, screams and screams some more. What  is going on?

Seperation anxiety is a normal stage of development. The baby now knows that he and mommy are 2 different, seperate people. The problem is that they don't know the concept of time and space yet. So when the mommy is out of sight, they don't know that she'll come back in some time, or that she still exists in another place.. She is just GONE! And that's a scary thought even for a grown up!

All (or should I say most) babies go through this stage. If it's a healthy and secure attachment relationship they usually grow out of it at around 2 (of course give or take about 6 months! :))

Is this SA happen to breastfed babies only? No, like I said, most babies go through this healthy stage of development. It's just that breastfed babies are more likely to develop attachment to their mother. Sometimes the attachment is to a toy, a dummy, a blanket. We've all seen it - the mom hands the child over to the nursery workers, while the child is clutching his banky and sucking his thumb like his life depends on it. And it does! That helps him deal with a new environment and any other stress that comes along the way. While a breastfed baby is most likely to cling to mommy and nurse nurse nurse the stress away.

Yes, sometimes breastfed babies are attached to things like that (they tend to wean earlier too) or some formula babies would have a strong and healthy attachment to the mother (and they tend to drop the paci and the bottle earlier) but they all go through SA. It's just that if the mother is not there every time the child needs to nurse or cuddle the stress away they select an object that they won't let go off. It brings them a sense of security in this big changing world.

[sati769leigh]

Oct. 25, 2009 at 3:00 PM

It's just that breastfed babies are more likely to develop attachment to their mother.

 

this is pretty flat out offensive to moms who dont breast feed.

[go_romanovs]

Oct. 25, 2009 at 3:28 PM

sati769leigh, don't stop reading there!

"Yes, sometimes breastfed babies are attached to things like that (they tend to wean earlier too) or some formula babies would have a strong and healthy attachment to the mother (and they tend to drop the paci and the bottle earlier) but they all go through SA"

I think it depends more on how much time the child spends with the mother and how available she is to comfort him, rather than on the feeding method.

I.e. a baby of a working mother, who sleeps in a crib and is sleep trained would more likely attach to an object than a co-sleeping, fed on demand baby of a babywearing stay at home mom.

(Original Poster)

[sew4heaven]

Oct. 31, 2009 at 1:29 AM

I agree. None of my babies had sitters or other people watch them until after 2 or 3 when they were comfortable with that.   None of my kids had favorite blankets, pacifiers or what not.  They were attached to me(mom) and there sibblings.

When they were old enough to have a sitter or stay at Grandparents house, they would say by mom and not cry.