It was all for nothing... There is no hope... (two updates already, 10/28/09)

[Chibi_Kitten]

 That wasn't a trial, that was a joke!

So... We had court today, it was supposed to be the first trial. It wasn't, it was the last. It was all for nothing, everything was just...

They gave that child molester custody of my youngest two siblings today... despite the pleas of my mother and the state and the social worker.

All the hell and bullshit, all the fighting... everything... it was all for nothing. There is no hope now, we don't have any options unless Robin (the child molester) goes against court order, which he's done several times before and nothing happened about it so really...

I failed... I fought and fought and fought... I argued, I cried, I fought, I did everything they told me to, I did everything I could to protect those kids... and it was all for nothing. I failed to protect them...

I tried to be optomistic but I just can't see a bright or positive side to this... We'll never see those kids again, their father will isolate them from us as he's already started to do with my youngest brother. It's even in the court paperwork that he blames the maternal side of the family for all the problems... which is somewhat true, if I hadn't said anything all those years ago then we wouldn't have been going through all this for the last ten years and we would never have arrived at this point.

The thing that gets me the most... At one point the judge corrected one of the attorneys, she said "alleged perpetrator" and the judge said "there is no alleged perpetrator, he was found guilty. In the eyes of this court, he is a child molester." Well then, what the fuck??? Why is no one fighting this? Why is he being given custody? Why isn't he in jail? Why? Why? Why?

He wants to move to Maine, despite the kids both saying they don't want to. The court order says that he has to give Mom a thirty day notice but we all know he won't, he's going to move out of state and keep those kids from us. He's going to keep moving around so that the system can't find them, we'll never see those kids again!

Why did I have to say anything? If I hadn't, none of this would've come to pass? Robin would've killed me eventually and then everything would've been all over, no more pain and no more suffering.

I have such a headache... I just want to go to sleep... I can't stop crying... I called Lonn and Meghs and cried to them, then I stopped by Lonn's work on the way home to cry some more... I'm still crying... I don't understand how one person can cry this much, it doesn't make sense, there's just no way the body can produce this much water all at once...

I wish I could sleep, I just want to sleep. I want to forget everything, I don't want these nightmares, these memories... I don't want any of it... I just want to sleep...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~10/28/09~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mom just called me a little while ago, crying and almost hysterical. Robin just called her and said that he and the kids are moving to Maine in fifteen days! He's already breaking the court order, which he's done before and I'm sure he'll get away with again. Not even a full day after court... we knew this would happen, this is what we get for hoping. The system doesn't work, not for the innocent, it only works for the guilty.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~10/28/09~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

5 45pm

I went to visit Mom this afternoon and, while I was there, Kayla text her. She told Mom that Robin wants her to sign and notarize papers giving them permission to move out of state, Mom said no because she wants to be a part of her kids' lives (understandable) so Kayla text back that she can't come over to visit Mom tomorrow like Robin had already agreed to. So Mom called Robin, told him that he doesn't have the right to deny her the court ordered visitation simply because he's not getting his way. He yelled and screamed and hung up on her, then Kayla text Mom saying that he's yelling at her now, good job. So Mom called him back again, told him not to take his anger out on the kids because they're having a disagreement and he's not getting his way. Kayla text Mom back that she can't visit her until Mom goes back to court and gets a set court ordered visitation. So, he's defying the court order by moving to Maine in fifteen days without giving a thirty day notice, he's defying the court order by denying Mom her visitation and he says he's moving to Maine with or without her permission and that they have to be out of the place they're currently residing by the first.

Mom is upset and stressed, she's going to court tomorrow to fight it but she really doesn't know what to do with all this now. He's defied the court orders twice before and gotten away with it, now he's got full physical custody and shares legal custody with Mom so he can basically do whatever the hell he wants and we can't do a damn thing about it.

We knew this was going to happen, he's been saying for years that he's going to cut us all out of the kids' lives as soon as he gets custody and he's doing exactly that now. Plus, Kayla is only 14yo and she's got one of those teenage girl attitudes where if she doesn't get her way, she throws a huge fit. He's going to beat the hell out of her, he's going to abuse her, he did it to me, Brian and Julie when we disagreed or defied him. And once they're in Maine, there's nobody to protect them. Mary Sue (Robin's wife) enables him, she says that even though the court found him guilty, he's innocent, that I made everything up.

Ugh, I hate this. I hate being helpless and having no options, I hate being so powerless and weak. I hate not being able to protect my family!

[Midnite00]

Oct. 27, 2009 at 8:04 PM

Some times the court can be so blind it's so upsetting! Really a child molester that can have his kids after going against court orders time and time again.... I am so sorry for you and your mother.   I would be watching that man like a hawk and call the police the minute I saw him leave............ But that could get you into trouble too.......

[homemommie]

Oct. 27, 2009 at 8:04 PM

Oh, wow! I am so sorry you are going through this. I don't understand it either. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

[LYNDELOU]

Oct. 27, 2009 at 9:02 PM

I am so sorry Sweetie!

Although I don't know your whole story......PLEASE do NOT blame yourself....

The court systems have a way of making the WRONG decision all the time...

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers!

[Parksey27]

Oct. 28, 2009 at 1:29 AM

OMG I had no idea you were going through this! I am so sorry for you and for those poor kids. I can't believe this can happen in this day and age, I am so sorry. I know it isn't much but I will be praying for those kids! If you need someone to vent to....I am here.

[T-Howe]

Oct. 28, 2009 at 11:26 AM

I'm sooo sorry chibi! The way I see it....you can bottle that anger up and keep going back to court. Don't give up! I know it's breaking your heart. You have no reason to blame yourself. What you did was RIGHT! If you hadn't spoke up...he would have gone un-noticed and did god knows what. Use that anger! Re-find your inner strength!!!! It's ok to cry for a few days but then....use it! I am giving you HUGE hugs right now! I KNOW it's hard. Any time you want to talk - you know I am here!

there is a saying I try to live by from Mahatma Gandhi~

Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from imdomitable will!

I'm gonnamake you a siggy right now that says that and you use it to remind yourself every damn day until you believe it....it happened to you...you survived....and you won't give up the fight...cause you are a good person and you KNOW the right thing to do. If you fall down, lay and cry a bit, then dust yourslef off~ dry your eyes and start the fight all over!

[Rachael]

Oct. 29, 2009 at 11:34 AM

submit the texts as evidence!  The fact that he was screaming at her right after your moms refusal is emotinal abuse right there!!  I cannot believe that court is so dimissive of the clearly terrible actions of this "man"  Why can't your mom have custody?

[me-n-mygirls]

Oct. 29, 2009 at 12:31 PM

awwww momma I'm so sorry your going through this. I can understand your frustration with the system I've been through a similar situation. I pray that something works out or goes wrong in his plans and the truth is brought out. With the one being a teenager if he does get violent then there is another case and the system will only go with him so many times.

I will keep you and the kids in my prayers.

[USAFamily]

Oct. 29, 2009 at 1:22 PM

Chibs~ There is nothing I can say except to stay strong, and I am here if you need a friend. Life deals some pretty shitty cards, but it is up to you guys what you do with them.

I hope the court system sees the errors they have made and does something, anything, about it.

[Roomfor1more]

Oct. 29, 2009 at 6:55 PM

I'm sorry sweetie.   You know how i feel about the justice system.   It only helps the guilty,always has,always will.    I'm here if you want to talk.

[itsnotaclowncar]

Oct. 29, 2009 at 11:57 PM That all sounds do awful babe I'm so sorry. I know you feel so helpless. All you can do is give it up to god, pray for his intervention and blessing on those kids. The only thing that can fix their situation is a miracle and that's goda department. You did what you could now pray for gods help. I'm sorry it is at this awful stage now. Can you call the police on him randomly in the hopes they will find some thing at the home worth taking him to jail for?