A new beginning.

[Brandy.B]

I've realized several things. Over the past few years, I have went through a lot. I've loved more than I ever thought I could, hurt others I never wanted to hurt, and learned lessons I never thought I would need to. I've conquered pride, maintained my dignity, and ate a little humble pie. My reasoning for writing this is my melancholy mood. I've been reading a lot of sad stories over the past few days, mostly of little children being hurt and dying. I find it unrreal...this world we live in. I wish most of all for peace and unity in our world, and that things like healthcare, food, shelter, clean water, would be available to everyone. Unfortunately, we live in a world filled with pure evil, hate, disease, disaster, and tragedy. It pains me to think that my two little girls would ever be hurt by this world, and pains me even more to know that I can't protect them from it even though I love my children more than anything. On the other side of this, I feel like an idiot and that is putting it lightly. I will be the first to admit I have a temper and I will also admit I love to be right and hate to be wrong. A few days ago, I was at work, and realized that a day (Halloween) my husband and I had requested off for 4 months in advance had been denied to him. Big deal? Not really. But I blew up. I actually had the nerve to yell at my manager and threaten to quit. Seriously... I was beyond immature. I almost got my husband fired (for no reason) or even myself. Needless to say, yesterday I apologized to this manager. Low and behold, I am extremely sick with the flu of some sort today. Karma much?! I am utterly embarassed at my actions, so much in fact I am even going to quit my job. Not just because of this incident, but I feel that I need to move on. My sweet husband has stayed by my side through all of this incident, as well as many more incidents that have occurred, although he is completely against the way I acted (who would blame him)... but I still shut him out. I can't figure out myself. I have so many anger issues and I just need to see that I truly am so blessed. Sure, I have bills piled up, a house dirtier than I would like it, a 2 1/2 year old that won't poop in the potty, and many other stressors, but I have good things too. I have the two most beautiful girls in the world, a wonderful husband who loves me, a house, food, water, shelter, and the ability to receive healthcare assistance. I am blessed. God has given me so much and too often I lose sight of this... I hope all of you can take a second to realize how much you have in your life and how much the good outweighs the bad. Also...some quotes I found...

“Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”

“Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today.”

“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

[tracey4friend]

Oct. 28, 2009 at 2:06 AM

BOY IS THIS TRUE