my grandfather is dying, and God help me, I'm mad at him!

[lovinangels]

My mother just called. My grandfather is in the hospital, has been for a couple of days. Each day that passes brings to light a new disease. Today, cancer on multiple organs. Why didn't he take better care of himself? Why didn't he stop smoking when I begged him to? Why didn't he go to the doctor when mom asked? He's supposed to be here for a long time, he's supposed to see my babies grow up! I love him so much, and now he's going to have to go for such stupidity. It's not fair!

[Betsy858]

Oct. 28, 2009 at 1:27 PM

Oh I can relate. My mom died when she was 67 and I asked all those questions you just did. Its o.k. to be angry and frustrated. I learned you can not control others. People are just going to do what they are going to do. God understands your anger and wishes that your grandpop took better care of himself. But your grandpa is in heaven and no longeer in pain. Its really harder for the loved ones. So much questions and what ifs...its all natural-part of the grief proccess anger and shock. There is nothing wrong with how your feeling so be angry and mad or what ever you feel. Feelings just are there not good or bad they are yours and you are ALOUD TO BE MAD. But you will eventially find peace-but it takes time.

[last-minute-mom]

Jan. 31, 2010 at 9:40 AM

I hope you find the comfort you need to help you through...and know that someone is praying for you and your Grandpa.