Day Four: The end is near. But not near enough.

[emhain]

 Yesterday was craptastical.

I could just end this journal there. But I won't- I'll wallow in my own misery.

So... last night was tricky. On Wednesdays I work until 6. The Terrible Twosome has to be outta daycare by 5. Chris works the night before, has school during the day, and works that night so he needs to sleep. In desperation, I asked my mom to get the small ones and take them for an hour until I'm done at work. She agreed. She came in at 5 with... one carseat. Crap. I looked all over this building for an extra carseat. Nada. So we had to figure something else out. I got Kaly out of her swim lesson early and sent her and one small one with my mom instead. Told the daycare I was sorry, but we were switching schedules. They seemed okay with it. Mind you, by this point I had stressed myself out, searched a four story building, called my husband (who did not wake up), called my brother, and stressed out more. But once it was straightened out Chris called me. I told him what had happened, that my mom only had one carseat. He asked why. I told Chris that *duh* the other carseats were in HIS car. And do you know what that man said???

"Um... you took that carseat into work with you. You put it in the corner of that empty room, behind the pillar."

Oh...

 Yeah. I kinda remember that now.

Oh well. At 6 I got Tay and the boy and we went home. My mom dropped off the other two (and brownies. Yay mom!!) Then the boy tells me this:

"Aunt Amy, when I wake up, my pee-pee is BIG."

"Um... okay. That'll happen. It'll be fine, buddy. Don't worry about it."

"And Aunt Amy? When I rub it in my bed it gets REAL BIG!"

"Awesome bud. Why don't you wait and tell your daddy all about that, okay?"

"Okay."

*kinda happy I don't have boys*

So they all ate dinner. I told them to be quiet and watch cartoons for five minutes while I get some work done. Because I am delusional and enjoy disappointment, I guess. Because you KNOW that didn't happen. They yelled, screamed, got mad at babydolls, beat the babydolls, flung the babydolls, ran around, and broke a shelving unit.

I had promised them a fun craft project. When they broke the shelf I took back that offer. Told them I needed to use all the glue to fix the stuff they keep breaking. Then I stuck the Terrible Twosome in the tub because if nothing else, at least it contains them. I would love to tell you that the older two were upstairs playing quietly. Or watching television nicely. Or... anything really. But the simple truth is that I have no idea what older kids do in my house because the Terrible Twosome sucks all the concentration, energy, and rational thought right outta my head.

After the bath I told the Terrible Twosome to play for 10 minutes and then they're going to bed. They decided to play Tear Shit Up. A classic.

My phone rang. I answered. Heard someone say something. Walked to another room, said hello again. Heard something. Yelled "What are you , lemmings??? Stop following me!!"

Then I heard Kori, mom of my extras, laughing at me. She was home!!! Early!!!! The kids could go home!!!

Could.

Only they pitched a fit and yelled and cried and begged because they "love Aunt Amy's house!!!"

(they love it more when they've destroyed it, apparently)

The boy is small enough to be manhandled. So he went home. Not quietly, mind you, but he went. The girl stayed. Whatever, she's quiet.

Taryn (my half of the Terrible Twosome) took TWO FLIPPING HOURS to go to sleep. She cried a lot. She missed her cousin. Who had been gone 5 whole minutes and lives DOWNSTAIRS. Drama queen? No. Drama Brat.

They all went to sleep.

Taryn peed in her bed and came into mine. Naked. And put her butt in my face.

This morning Tay decided to tell me that she broke her glasses. Because she likes the "crapcrapcrap how am I gonna pay for this?!?!?" look I get, I guess. I sent her to school glasses-less.

I dropped Taryn off at daycare where Kavan (the not-mine half of the Terrible Twosome) was waiting.

"Can I come home with you again?"

I looked at him.

I blinked a lot.

My mouth moved.

I twitched a bit.

The teacher escorted me out the door and said soothing things.

Tonight I get my house back. The extras are going home.

I love my niece and nephew.

I just love them more when they're at THEIR house.

......

I was just reminded that they're sleeping at my house on Saturday night too.

Could someone with typhoid fever or malaria come lick my eyeballs? Please?

[sherriet]

Oct. 29, 2009 at 2:03 PM

Will the flu work?  Hugs.

[evwsquared]

Oct. 29, 2009 at 2:10 PM

Is it OK for me to laugh? If not, I apologize, because I already am.

[ms_mommy_sue]

Oct. 29, 2009 at 3:24 PM

sorry I know i should not take joy in the misery you are having but man did I giggle

[used2chaos]

Oct. 29, 2009 at 3:48 PM

Oh man.  I'm glad they're going home for YOUR sake.  However, I am bitterly disappointed the saga is over.

Selfish, I know.  You are mighty entertaining. 

Do we have a journal of the Saturday Night Sleepover Adventure to look forward to?

Oh, and when do you get to drop your two at her house?  I'm thinking you deserve a hot bath, candlelight, a good book and an enormous glass of wine!

[clairandamjones]

Oct. 29, 2009 at 9:54 PM

You lost me at the REALLY big pee pee. 

Hey, don't forget, Saturday is Halloween!  Better make sure there are plenty of treats so they don't resort to tricks.  That could never be a good thing.

[irishcoffee]

Oct. 31, 2009 at 9:21 PM

Can your two spend the night at the OTHER house for a week?  That would be good, yes?

[ironkitten]

Nov. 16, 2009 at 10:19 AM

Try eyeglasses at Walmart for children.  They are about $9 and come with some kind of guarantee.  Thanks for the chuckles!

[knepppi]

Dec. 1, 2009 at 3:12 PM

ok I am sorry but the last part I couldn't help myself I totally started laughing!!! If your walmart doesn't have glasses like mine try this website it is where we get my son's. good luck !! https://zennioptical.com/cart/pages.php?pageid=8