No, You Don't Need Therapy

[veg4animals2006]

After I dropped my sister off at the gas station Wednesday (read last post) my stepdad picked her up on his way home.I didn't see her untill after my mom got home and I talked to her about the situation. I told my mom that I'm pretty sure I have post-partum depression and I cannot deal with my own shit and my sister's at the same time. Apparantely I'm not the only one who has realized that I'm not myself... my mother and my sister have noticed that my hormones are far from adjusted... so my mother understood that I'm having a hard time.

My mom said we should all talk about it so we all sat down at the dining room table. Actually, my mom mostly talked to my sister because I'd pretty much already had my say. My mom put it plainly that my sister and I are complete opposites in every way and that we are both going through our own things right now and perhaps the original arrangement isn't the best thing right now. I had suggested that she take the bus, but even THAT means I have to drop her off. We live in a private neighborhood in the middle of nowhere.. 15 minutes every direction from civilization (stores, gas stations, etc). We don't have the city metro bus stops in our town, but we do have a commuter parking lot that an express bus stops at in the mornings and afternoons for people who work in the city. So I will be dropping my sister off at the lot in the morning and she will have to take a bus to her work. Then my mom or stepdad will pick her up on their way home if they can... if not, she will take the bus back to the commuter lot.

My sister was extremely stubborn the entire time my mom was trying to talk to her. My mom had suggested awhile back that my sister start going back to therapy, but for some reason my sister refuses. She believes that she doesn't need to go. My mom tried to explain that going to therapy doesn't mean you're crazy, it's just a way to help you deal with every day life.... my sister didn't think she needed help with that either.

Now, my sister has a lot of things that are going on in her life right now. The best analogy I can give is that my sister is high speed train. At a particular point in her life her brakes gave out and she came off her track a bit, yet she continues to coast at a dangerous speed down the track. She calls someone to help her get back on the track, but refuses to let anyone check her brakes. A few months later, her brakes give out again and she's off track. This cycle will probably continue until she flies comletely off the track or crashes.

She's going to continue to expect that someone will help her until one day she's hanging off her track a little too far and no one comes to rescue her. I think that's what she really needs to understand she can't go through life constantly avoiding her own problems. We all need a little maintenance now and then, we can't refuse to admit we have a problem unless we want that problem to destroy us.

[Midnite00]

Nov. 1, 2009 at 2:01 PM

Ok so I might not know all of it, but I agree with the bus to get to and back home from work.  Sometimes you do have let them crash, hopefully not to get scars but to learn... That's the hardest for parents, to let go and watch the downward spiral to the end........ it does sound like she could use some help. When my DD was going and her dad was upset, I told him isn't great she has someone to talk to that doesn't really know anything but just sits there and listens.  She can complain about us without judgement and fear.  Her therapist will help her sort it all out.  I wish you the best of luck.

[Momma_Halo]

Nov. 1, 2009 at 2:07 PM

Hey I have had a few counseling sessions. I am not crazy but it helped me learn tricks to deal with life and to deal with my own emotions. And now I have to think about going back to learn how to deal with a crippling social issue.

I don't understand the stigma that comes with the phrase "getting help".

[Lb128f]

Nov. 1, 2009 at 10:04 PM

Agreed. I hope she will reconsider.