Dear Christopher

[Dark_Rain]

Dear Christopher,

     I write this to you here knowing you'll probably see it. And this way you know everyone else can see it too. My profile is public and others will see it. Over the past few days I have written stuff on here, made posts that I shouldnt have. I've been irrational and doing stupid things.

     I am frankly very scared of losing you again. You are my whole world, next to our children. Living without you from June until just 2 weeks ago was total hell for me! It was so hard to force myself to get up every morning. I never wanted to get out of bed.

     I missed you so much every second I was not with you. My heart broke just a little bit more every day that I didnt hear you say you love me, didnt get to see your face. I hated not being around you every day. Its like my whole life was turned upside down, my heart ripped out and torn apart without you with me.

     I love you so much baby. I'm so sorry that I've done things that hurt you. Yes you hurt me but hurting you back was the wrong way to show me how much you hurt me. I dont think I could ever show you that even if I really was trying. All I can do is say I'm sorry.

     You once said to me you were confused. You said you didnt know if I wanted you to stand beside me, in front of me or to just follow behind me. Heres the answer to your question.

I always want you beside me baby. Thats where you belong! By my side, forever and always. I love you! all the lyrics in this song may not fit but the chorus sure does!