Underage Drinking, Citation & parents under investigation ~ venting

[Mom2two925]

I allowed my 16 year old sleep at her friends house last night. Little did i know, there was a party at a 16year olds house. So, the mom hosting the sleep over takes the 3 girls- all 16 (1 being my d) to this party and picks them up at 11pm. Spoke with the mom who was hosting the party, blah blah.. (keep in mind, I was never aware of any party)

At 2am, I get a call from the police to come get my D, she is at an underage drinking party (location NOT that of the sleepover).

When i arrive, there are 5 cop cars and 16 kids that were present. All but 2 had a BAC. My child had a .05BAC. The parents hosting the party are under investigation for serving alchol to minors.

My D and the 2 other girls snuck out of the house, had a friend with a car pick them up and take them back to the party.

Per the police, the citation will arrive in the mail, we will have to go to court, her DL ( which she does not yet have) will be supsended and that is the start - could also be fines. She has a job, so all fines will be paid by her. Wed we attened her induction into the National Honors Society and Saturday Im retreiving her from cops.

Im really very angry, both with my Teen and the Parents hosting this underage drinking party. In addition to serving minors, that mother knew full well that these girls had been picked up by a parent and they returned. Common sense would tell you that no responsible adult knows where these kids are. Of course, I suppose, Im expecting too much from this woman - she gave them booze!

Anyone been at this point before? Mostly a vent... I know my Teen is on Lock Down, entertainment will be her job. She will let her boss know she is now available to work more hours.. she's not hangin out for a LONG LONG time.

[MSugarKane]

Nov. 2, 2009 at 7:52 AM

Concentrate on your own teen right now.  Make her take all the consequences and pay for them all BY herself.   The biggest mistake parents make is to pay the fines and let them off the hook financially.   I have seen it happen over and over again.

Trust is now your issue with her.  Lock down is a really good idea.  I did that many a time.  But since she already had the balls to get back in a car and go back to a party KNOW she may try to do that from your house.    I know because my 17 yr old daughter did that. I found out by a phone call from a trauma center four towns away at 1 AM in the morning ON a school night.   My husband and I were shocked to know she would do that.    She did suffer injury which knocked her on her butt for the next six months which is when we could enforce the lock down easier.     Take her cell phone away at night.   Make sure your home line is not available for her to use to call people.    Lock down communications after a certain hour with teens, including the computers.    That will help with the lockdown and getting out at night.

Good luck, this too shall pass.

 

[GDIMOM]

Nov. 3, 2009 at 9:15 AM

I hope those parents have a hefty punishment!

[Mom2two925]

Nov. 3, 2009 at 9:19 PM

I will do my best to make sure they receive some form of consequence.  They can't cite the kids and not those who were supposed to be 'responsible adults'.  When my D's citation arrives, I will assume if they police had time to take care of her paperwork, they had time to complete an investiagation and decide what to do with the parents - I will be calling that day to inquire as to their exact charges.  I will attend their court appearances too. 

I belive that my D should have a legal consequence and have no plans to try to have that minimized.  I do plan though to make sure that JohnLaw follows through on charges against the parents.  It's mind boggling.  I know there are parents that do such things - just didnt realize that I know any of them! 

(Original Poster)