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He died...
- Nov 3, 2009 at 7:38 PM
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- Comments (7) Total Views (383) Everyone can see this journal post.
He died. My cousin, 30 years old, died of a rare form of mouth cancer this weekend. We knew his out look was not good, but still I can't get my head around it.
He never drank, never smoked, never chewed, never did any of those things you do that give you cancer.. heck don't really know if he even had a long term relationship. I didn't know him well enough.. At a young age, my grandmother "disowned" my aunt, in a kind of "us or them" sort of way. They were no longer at Grandma's house for the holidays, and we rarely visited with them . Eventually, my Dad and Grandmother quit speaking, and the relationship between siblings was rebuilt.
He was at my wedding. He came to college here, in my home town. We opened our home to him for laundry. He was always so quiet, yet strong. He played football, and did shot put high school college, and then coaching.
It just spins my head in circles, on so many levels....
His obituary left out mention of my our Grandparents, who are still alive. They weren't even called, but we assume they read about it in the paper. Another estranged aunt did, and sent an email. Her fucking nephew died, her sisters kid...and an EMAIL??? My grandma can never make this up to our family. Maybe that is why this is hitting me so hard. The hopefully little girl that keeps hoping Grandma will reunite her shattered family. I look at my kids.. could not imagine what my aunt is feeling having lost hers. Not being able to imagine, losing mine, and NOT having my mom there to comfort me.
I am really shook up over this.
Comments:
Sorry, prayers for you and yours
I'm sorry. Keeping you and your family in thought and prayer!
I am so sad for all of you, particularly your poor aunt.
I can completely relate. My mother has disowned one of my sisters. It is an us or them sort of thing, so I hardly even know my nieces and nephews (no do my children know their cousins). When my father passed away, we weren't even allowed to tell my sister. It really sucks that families can act that way. What kind of example is my mother (or your grandmother) setting for the rest of us? All you can do is try to learn from the mistakes THEY have made & try to live your life better than that. I am really sorry for the loss of your cousin. Your family is in my prayers.
(hugs) take a breath hon...and go ahead and be shook up! no one said you had to be the pillar of strength because you werent"close"...it is sad , what your grandmother did...my MIL is doing it to herself now. She treats me like I stole her son, almost like a lover stolen and unfortunantly recently she went so far that my love has decided to let that relationship go. BUT we will see other family and even her at functions-just at a distance. Maybe this is a good time to reach out to the other innocent victims of grandmothers hatred? call those who you are estranged from and simple say" I dont want to lose someone else and say I didnt know them at all." you have a brand new start here...but as for the gramma...ummm she made her bed,a nd suffocated many with the bed sheets... God bless hon.
I am so sorry.. holding you up in prayer.
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I am sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my prayers.