Heartbroken..

[prmami2b]

I am writing this because i am heartbroken, everyday.. My dh n I have been married for almost 3 years now, and I thought he was my soulmate. We complimented each other in every way, or so I thought. We had our first child in February 2009.. and two weeks after I gave birth he was trying to start something with his high school crush. I forgave him and never brought it up again... He hadnt touched me since I was 5 months pregnant. Now it's still the same thing, except now he treats me like his roomate. He comes home and greets me with a, "what's up?" He is a pig and then tells me the house is a mess.. I'm still new to this whole house mom ting and I'm trying so hard to... impress him i guess.. I want him to love me so bad.. I'm heartbroken everyday by his lack of appreciation, lack of affection, lack of respect, lack of intimacy... I'm so alone.. I literally ache for him. This loveless marriage has completely affected my view of myself.. I see nothing.. I'm a shell of my former self.. I dont bother making myself look good because what's the point? I work looking for extra things i can do for him to make his life a little easier, but he's so willing to dump everything on me without any regard to how much I do, my insomnia, my stress level, or my mental state.. I'm so alone..... i wish I was a different person.. Someone who was loved, appreciated, adored, thought of..... cherished... I'm afraid that I may never find a genuine man who wants to do things for me, listen to me... love me....

  

Tags: loveless marraige, husband, love, no love

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[EvaSerenity]

Nov. 4, 2009 at 2:45 AM

All I can say is you are so not alone in feeling this way. I don't have any advice for you, I'm kinda in the same boat. Just wanted you to know you're not alone. *HUG* You can PM me if you need someone to talk to.

[prmami2b]

Nov. 4, 2009 at 4:00 AM

Thank you.. I want it to change so bad..

(Original Poster)

[singedwingangel]

Nov. 4, 2009 at 8:09 AM

Sweetie don't change for him chagne for YOU..and only you.. Unfortunately many men have an issue combining  mother and lover in one package. You both need counseling but if he refuses to change then do something fo rYOU.. Love yourself first then and only then can you truly have someone love you...because they will feel your soul and know yoru feelings.. praying for you

[prmami2b]

Nov. 4, 2009 at 3:17 PM

thank you so much.. I have suggested counseling but he says is so busy with work.. thats his excuse for everything, house chores, changing diapers.. he feels that because he works outside of the home that he deserves to come home and be served... My heart aches so much.. tomorrow is my birthday and i just know it's gonna be a crappy day..

(Original Poster)