Rules Should Apply to EVERYONE

[veg4animals2006]

Most of you know that my sister has recently started a new job and it's causing some tension. Mostly because she has no car of her own so my mom, myself, and my stepdad have had the job of carting her around.

Well, her part-time job has turned out to be a full-time job, with her working 8+ hours a day, which is fine by her.. that just means more money for her. However, that also means she doesn't get things done around the house. I know this is her first time having a "real" job (her only other job was at a pizza place for two months) so she does need to be given a little slack. But, when she KNOWS she's supposed to get the dishes done and doesn't do them for over 3 days... that kind of ticks me off. Instead of doing them yesterday morning, when she had time, she had some guy friend over and they were working on fixing a broken XBox. My fiance and I both worked and took care of our son.. and we still managed to get things done around the house. Now with TWO kids, we still are able to clean up.. even if it's just taking the trash out or doing the dishes... yet somehow my sister is getting away with doing NOTHING but working.

When my sister and I got into the fight a few days ago that resulted in her being kicked out of the car, I made sure she put my fiance's phone back in my purse before she got out of the car. Well, then when my fiance went to work he couldn't find his phone anywhere. We looked for a few days and it didn't turn up so I asked my sister if she had seen it.. and she said she hadn't. Then last night she called me at 10:30 asking where I was because she thought I was supposed to pick her up (our mom was picking her up).. but she was calling from my fiance's phone!! At the time I was too tired to bothering arguing with her about it so I simply said "I thought you didn't know where Rob's phone was." "Oh... well... I found it in my coat pocket." Um... ok?.. whatever. So I texted my mom and told her to get Rob's phone back ASAP and make sure she gave it back to us when they got home, which she did. I checked the text messages and phone call history and, sure enough, my sister has been using my fiance's phone for the past few days (the days we were trying to find it and she said she didn't know where it was) to call and text these "guy friends" she has. OMG! I am livid. I mean, seriously, that's just plain disrespectful. She has a fucking phone, but she didn't pay the damn bill so it's shut off and now she wants to use my fiance's phone? I'm so frustrated, mostly because she lied to me about it. I would have gladly let her use the phone to call someone or even to take to work if she had just ASKED. But, no, instead she STOLE it and then lied about having it!!!!

So this morning I called my mom to tell her about it. I don't know what I was expecting.. maybe that my mom would talk to her about it or ... or just for her to listen.. but neither of those things happened. My mom told me I needed to talk my sister about it.. which is true, but then she suggested we let my sister have Rob's phone. Like I said, I don't mind if she borrows either one of our phones, but I'm not going to GIVE her his phone and she hasn't had the best record with borrowing Rob's phone so far.

Then my mom started in on how we need to get a storage unit this weekend. We have some furniture and boxes in their garage and a few boxes in the room we live in. In all reality I would rather just find a place than spend $80+ a month on a storage unit. So, I found a place nearby and we are going to go look at it this evening. (Yeah!) What really gets me about this, is that my sister has her crap strewn all over the house (both closets in the room where Rob and I are living are PACKED with my sister's boxes) and yet she isn't requiring her to get a storage unit.

I know we have a family and are more responsible than she is, but how does my sister get away with this crap?! How does she still live with my mom, is allowed to have friends over at all times of the day/night, not clean up after herself or do any sort of chores and have her stuff everywhere? Yet somehow she's exempt from trying ...even just a little bit?

At the same time my mom is expecting us to pay rent/bills, find a storage unit, drive my sister to work, let  my sister use our cell phones, clean up the house and save up money for a new place. It just is ridiculous.

My mom keeps reminding me that my sister is nothing like me, but just because she has a different personality or has different tendencies doesn't mean she's incapable of cleaning up the fucking dishes! If you have a certain set of basic rules/expectations for one child, you should expect the same (or similar) things out of your other one!!!! I know you have to kind of "customize" your expectations, but seriously..... I feel so cheated here. I feel like my sister has absolutely no responsibilities and not only do I have to deal with my own crap.. I've somehow become a lifeline for my sister as well! I'm sick of it!

[Lb128f]

Nov. 4, 2009 at 2:05 PM

Agreed! And, the whole phone issue...that's way out of line. No way would I "give" her the phone (any phone)....obviously, she can't handle having one (or doing the dishes). Grrr! I sure hope the place you all look at tonight is great! Good Luck!!!

[amberwriteslove]

Nov. 4, 2009 at 2:21 PM

your sister sounds about as ridiculous as mine

[sweetheart1985]

Nov. 4, 2009 at 7:34 PM

Ugh! I hate when parents have whole different sets of rules for different kids. I can see one or two small things, but that's just beyond reason. It sounds like favoritism to me, and I HATE favoritism.

I'm the oldes sibling in my family, and I feel like my parents are whole different PEOPLE to my sisters. It's so uncool.

Good luck finding a place, Jess!! I hope you get the one you're going to look at, and you don't have to worry about this crap anymore.

Oh. And... GIVE her the phone. Yeah effin right. Way to reward bad behavior.

[tericared]

Nov. 4, 2009 at 7:49 PM

HA yeah I'd give her the phone then have it shut off.....

[Momma_Halo]

Nov. 4, 2009 at 8:28 PM

That is horrible, she needs to learn responsibility. And you can't do that when everyone is letting you get away with everything. And how old is she and stealing phones? That is something my four year old would do and get sent to the corner for. You are right she needs help.

[parrishsky]

Nov. 5, 2009 at 10:19 AM

I'm having troubles with mine too. I really feel like I've lost my sister over this past year and I feel as though I can not confide in her or depend on her. She says things that shock me so to handle it the best way I can is to tell myself she is not like me and I'm a better person than who she thinks she is.