A Mother's Shameful Story

Mommy Daily Muse! :)

My life the sitcom...

A Mother's Shameful Story
Nov 5, 2009 at 9:20 AM
By
- Kajenloca
Comments (15) Total Views (193) Everyone can see this journal post.

I am so ashamed! This weekend I OD'd...and now for the rest of the story.

It seems like only yesterday; but, in actuality it was 4 days, 16 hours and 32 seconds-no wait! Then there was the time change on Sunday, so that means I need to add or is that subtract another hour? And I was pretty delusional...all I know is it wasn't yesterday. I'm pretty sure.

I knew I had an addiction. I was sure I could control it though. This night, however, all the cards were stacked against me. There was a full moon, my patron saint of hormonally imbalanced women had come for a visit, I had six children, it was Trick-or-Treat night...rumor had it, that the only reason I had so many children was so I could hoard all their chocolate...rumor also had it, that it was me that started that rumor. I can not confirm, nor deny those allegations.

We started our night at the town's "Pumpkin Path" where area businesses hand out treats. I huddled with my children, not only because it was SO COLD AND WINDY, but to give them a reminder course of candy etiquette.

Mom: "Okay, kids. What is the most important thing to remember tonight?"

Child# 6: "To say please and thank you."

Mom: "Uh, yes, that is important, but what is even more important?"

Child#5: "You should always stay together."

Mom: "Yes, those things are all fine and dandy, but concentrate! What is the most important thing that you are supposed to remember?!"

The older children replied in unison (for some reason, they sounded like they were brainwashed-go figure): "Mom gets first choice of all candy, and she can claim any chocolate as her own, no questions asked."

I wiped a tear away as my heart swelled with pride.

From the Pumpkin Path we went to "Trunks of Treasures" at a local church and then spent the rest of the night doing the traditional Trick-or-Treating.

Driving home was the beginning of the end for me...I started a game.

Mom: "Who has a Snickers?"

All of a sudden, everyone was actually looking through their collections. Seconds later, I had a handful of chocolate. How cool!

Mom: "Who has a Twix?"

The kids excitedly picked through their stash to see who could get me my request first. I, of course, never turned away the "losers".

Mom: "Extra points for anyone that has dark chocolate!"

The game went on and on and...I couldn't disappoint my children who were having so much fun, could I?

Then the kids went to bed after hiding their candy stash in the best secretive places ever-advised by their loving mother...

I was so ashamed (eventually), but I paid the consequences for my overindulgence of sweets. That night, I ate to the point of never wanting to see another piece of candy-ever-again.

Hey, is that a Kit Kat bar-dark chocolate-I see?

Life is so good... laughing

Anybody else overdose over the weekend?

Add A Comment

Comments:

1-10 of 15 comments

12 next last »

Nov. 5, 2009 at 9:26 AM

Absolutely hysterical! I LOVE it!

Jodie118

Nov. 5, 2009 at 9:48 AM

I must admit... I too had this same scenario play out.

My name is PinkSodaPop...and I'm a choco-holic. crying mini

*Hands head in shame to sneak another bite of dark chocolate*

PinkSodaPop

Nov. 5, 2009 at 9:52 AM

ROTFLOL!! Haven't been able to do that-yet!

koalagirl

Nov. 5, 2009 at 10:09 AM

Yep, I did. My daughter doesn't like caramel or nuts. I DO!!! So I get all the non-M&M/Kit Kat/Laffy Taffy/Sweet Tarts candy. All of it. And I wasted no time in making sure there weren't any snickers/milky ways/milk duds/almond joys hanging around.

*sigh* I love trick or treating.