so wierd it's freaking me out!!!!

[okc-mom-2]

i just got off the phone with my cousins daughter who on her death bed asked me to take care of her. she is 21 and has 3 kids of her own. we was talking about all the fun times we had with her mother my cousin. then she told me she has been seeing her mom every morning at 3 am. it started freaking me out cause i wake up every morning between 2:30-3 am seeing my cousin also. i told her it's just her mother trying to tell her she loves her and will be here when she needs her. we talked for and hour. it was the first time i talked about my cousin since her death. GOD i miss her sooo much. it's hard to see her daughter that i just talked to cause she looks just like her mom. but we are going to meet up in a couple of weeks just to see each other. she knows i'm here for her anytime. that makes me feel good knowing i can be here to help her children like she wanted me to. so i have to get my act together for them and my own kids. she told me about my DS15 and her 2 brothers 13, and 14 and her sister 16 getting in trouble last saturday night for minors in poss. of alcohol. now we have to go to court with them monday over it. we understand why they did it, but they all got into trouble for doing it. hell my cousin there mother was just buried the day b4 they pulled this crap. i have tried talking to my son about drinking because he can't deal with the pain of her being gone, and i have talked to her children also, but i feel like a hipacrit for doing the same thing, but they don't see me doing it. i tell everyone in my family i'm fine and just change the subject. so being able to talk about it with my cousins daughter today really helped me, and her both. i'm so glad she called me. RIP SANDRA LEE CLARK MAY 21,1962- OCTOBER 28, 2009. I LOVE AND MISS YOU SOOO MUCH!!