Comments Can Hurt

[CTRedSoxMom]

I have noticed a lot lately that the women on this site really do not care for other people, or if their comments will hurt them. I know that this is just an internet website, with a bunch of strangers, but it alarms me at the mentality of that.
Just because you are not face to face with someone you can say nasty and hurtful things?
What kind of a message is that going to teach our children?

Why do I care so much?
Yesterday I was dealing with a lot of negative emotions from the birth of my second child, so I decided to get my feelings out in a video that I made. I posted it to share my story, and let some of the women know why I feel the way I do about some subjects, and why pregnancy & birth matters so much to me.

Instead of no comments, or nice comments (while there were a few) the majority were negative, telling me how I should feel, I was selfish for not being content with my experiences, and that I simply should be happy with beautiful healthy children.  The problem is, a birth experience, and the feelings for your children, do not necessarily go hand in hand.

I never once said that I am not grateful for healthy children, I am completely grateful for the health and well being of my boys. I love them with every ounce of everything in me. They are my world.
Does hating the way they came into the world impact my love for them or the kind of mother I am?  Not at all.

The ignorant assumption was astounding, and when it came from multiple people, it almost floored me. I deleted the posting because after dealing with the emotional damage I have as a result of the two birth processes I went through, I could not handle any ignorant, childish and unfounded comments from people who luckily never had to deal with that.

My experience does not have anything to do with anyone but myself. Not my children, not my family, and certainly not the woman who loved her c-section. It is MY feelings and nothing more. Simple as that.

The video below is my experience.

If you do not have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. Simple as that!

Tags: birth, pregnancy, cesarean, experience, emotions, hurt, ignorance

Add A Comment

[PookaboosMom]

Nov. 6, 2009 at 12:07 PM

I'm sorry they treated you poorly, some people can be so cruel.

[Juliekat23]

Nov. 6, 2009 at 12:09 PM

I didn't watch the video, but, Ill share that I hated my birth experience.  :(  My child's birth father (now my ex husband) ruined it for me.  He made horrible comments, and ran out as soon as they said I could hold the baby-so he could pick up his DA*N paycheck.  Like that couldn't F**in wait???  And my mom gives me a hard time because I chose an epidural-she says I don't know WHAT labor feels like. :(  So, as much as I love my daughter, I did not love the birth experience.  Sorry they were so mean to you-thats a big part as to why I don't post much.  Some are vicious on there.

[ToriBabe1221]

Nov. 6, 2009 at 12:09 PM

hi momma. i watched your video last night. i too was floored at the nasty comments being left. that never ceases to amaze me on this site though. the way i see it, you have no idea who is on the other side of the screen, or the mental state they are in.... i know i dont want to be the person that sends them over the edge with a mean, nasty comment.

it really makes me quite sick. this is supposed to be a site for support for moms, and instead its just like highschool. i can admit i like the drama sometimes, it keeps me entertained, but some of the comments posted... are just cruel..

 

i feel the same way about my csection by the way... i hope to try for a vbac if/when i get pregnant again... *hugs*

[caitxrawks]

Nov. 12, 2009 at 1:27 PM

Some people are just...nasty.

I've dealt with nasty comments from all directions. It sucks.