screw you CAS

[Amelora]

I am afraid they are going to try and take my son away.

A few months ago I was having really bad PPD. I was trying to get a diagnosis, but kept getting the run around. My home nurse suggested we get Children's Aid involved so they can help me get some help. I stupidly agreed. Now not only have they not gotten me any help at all they are phoning me saying that if I don't figure out how to get the help they are going to call in Family Services (the nasty ppl that take the kids away). I am soooo mad right now. I went to them of my own accord to get help. I was honest about everything that happened. They sent home inspector and nurses and the whole kit and kaboodle... all of whom have said that I am a great mother and that I am doing an excellent job. Every time I jump through one they put up another.

First it was "before we can do anything we need to send over a home inspector. I thought -"hey no problem, I know the kind of people you usually deal with, of course you are going to want to make sure everything is ok". Well the guy comes and right off the bat, I knew something was up. He talked to me like I was a child, as if I had no clue anything about raising a child. Although this is my first child, I raised another child for the first months of his life because his mother was too high to care for him. I learned a lot from that. I also educated myself on everything I could. I told the home inspector that I take my son to play group 3-5 times a week, that I have replaces all my cleaning stuff and now only use baking soda and vinegar to clean, I showed him own I have mats on the floor him his room and in the living room so he always has somewhere soft to play. In the end he told me I was a great mother and that I am doing exceptionally well.

Next time I talk to them they want to know when I am meeting with the psychologist. I tell them that I keep calling and trying to get in, but no one calls me back. They again offer me no help. They call back 2 weeks later - "why have you not told us when your appointment is?" again I explain that I am trying but I thought they would help me. They say if I don't have one by the end of the month they will help me. Well the end of the month comes and goes, they eventually call again, pissed that I haven't told them when my appointment is. I tell them the same thing I have been telling them from the start. They send someone out to my house again. Same thing - "you are an excellent mother blah blah blah"

They call back 2 days later - they are sending out a health nurse to check my son out physically

At this point I am starting to get terrified. Why do they need a health nurse? They haven't done anything for me and they keep ridding me. So the health nurse comes. She is beyond impressed with me. Get a call the next day "everything looks good, but we are going to need you to take a parenting class" WTF you keep telling me how great I am but I need to take a parenting class. When I talk to the nurse the next time she tells me that it wasn't in her recommendations.

The 2 weeks after that I don't even try to get the psych apt. My whole house hold is sick as hell and I am no longer going through any depression.I start the parenting classes.

OMG the parenting classes. Did you know that you have to strap your child in a car seat if they are in a car? Did you know that children don't like it when you scream at them all day? Did you know that you shouldn't leave your 5 month old in living room with Lego's and only the tv to babysit him? Apparently some people didn't because that's what the classes were like. When I met with the home investigator and the nurse I was explaining to them about the research papers on children's neurologic systems that I had been reading - and they suggest that I need that bullshit.

It makes me want to rip out my hair.

Two days ago I finally get a psych apt. Then yesterday I get a message on my machine that basically says if I don't get a psych apt by the end of the week CAS is going to hand my file over to Family services because I am being a neglectful parent. It is total bullshit. They can't legal make me get a diagnosis. They don't want me to go on meds or anything, they just want me to get diagnosed. There is nothing wrong with me now, I am supposed to get a diagnosis for something that I went through months ago.

I am also scared that once I start going they are just going to find more hoops for me to jump through. What is it going to be next, more home appointments, more nurses, more stupid classes, or are they going to try to force me to take medication? I am really scared. I hate this. I asked for help instead of help I am afraid they are going to try take away my son.

[unsuspected]

Nov. 7, 2009 at 2:35 AM

Sorry hon ... this is our gov't at work.  Think how much better it will be for everyone once they have full control! 

Seriously though ... I am really sorry.  Just keep jumping throught ther hoops and I hope everything works out.  You've said so yourself ... you're a great mom, that should speak for itself.  Hang in there.

[Jezture]

Nov. 7, 2009 at 10:02 PM

They are just so used to seeing shitty parents that they expect the worst. Keep the appt and use the evaluation as proof you don't need the help- or get the help if they suggest it. Just keep a level head when dealing with them and don't let the see you are angry if you can help it.