Angels? Yes I believe...

[Dannille33]

First off I want to say that I have been thinking about all of you. I have wondered how you have been and what you have been doing.

I had to start to declutter my life. You see it is a must when you  start to have so much going on in your life. You have to decided what is important and what isn't. Rememeber less is more! I have also been a bit sick this weekend. I am fine now.

So why is it that I named his entry Angels? Yes I believe! Well when I was on one of the sites I go on I happened upon a very nice gentleman. We just started talking and becoming friends. He has recently lost his finace just 5 months ago. They were together for 5 yrs. I did not want to share with him what was going on with me, I knew he would flee some people do. After we talked and talked I found that we had  some things in common, he was a writer and still is, he also has a very stress job working up to sometimes 80 hours a week. He started telling me of his recent loss and how stress was at an all time high. His job to was adding to it. Now, I thought this is a man .. he doesn't have children screaming, fighting, complaning ..

I started then to tell him my story how I went from handling stress, to slowly allowing it to build up. It go so BIG that it consumed me, it controlled me, I felt lost within myself. Yes I had good days, yet I still felt fear, nerves, dizzy, even with meds. The bad days become my very worst days. I told him I was ready to be commited. You would think after a man hearing this he might think twice about wanting to talk to someone as overwhelemed as I had become.

Wrong, he welcomed all that I said. He also had stated that after his 6 yrs studying at Harvard he stumbled upon a lecture called How to be happy. Now he wasn't sold on it though he knew this gentleman gave great lecture. He had to do something for the pain, the loss, confusion, stress was getting over barring. So he attended this lecture. He went on to share the lecture with me, and also some other helpful hints. This was Saturday... Sunday via email he sent me this lecture to watch. For 2 hours I sat, I watched, I took in everything that this lecture had to offer.

Let me tell you this lecture was so powerful that it spoke to me. It allowed me to see what was wrong in my life. What I needed to do to get better. Medicine wasn't part of it. I am still on a small does of Klonopin till I get use to the the plan I have set up for mysef. I will have you know all day Sunday I felt no dizzy feeling, no worry, no what if's, no nerves! Believe that!

Today I woke up same thing, no nerves, no dizzy, no numbness, nothing... nothing but how  felt before all this. I even showered and took off for the gym spending 45 mins there. I wanted to spend more time, yet you cannot push yourself you have to learn to slow down. I feel so good today it is truly unbelieveable. I even stoped at the subway where a woman that manages it once offered a posistion to me right a month before I got like this.

I walked in there and talked with her about just clean up, and prep. She understands how I have been her daughter suffereing from a social disorder. She told me that she had another posistion open and just a few hours 3 days a week. I was soo HAPPY! I know this is only the second day, as have said before Rome wasn't built in a day and I will not just get better just like that. I do have one thing now HOPE! I have FAITH ....

I thank God for this person, this man that seemed to know just want to say, for the tools .....

I can only except what I feel is natural, it makes me human. I sometimes you just have to accept, and adapt... You just have to just say .. it's Ok I feel this way will I die only if it's my time, do I need to fear this? No, you are you.... accept that.. The years have warn on you and now its time to just adapt and find your place.

If you would like to see the video let me know. It will help! It will make sense.. YOu just have to be willing to open your eyes, your mind, and not over think it.

Here is the link to the Video.. it is a must watch. It is also posted in my Stop Anxiety, stress, and panic .. group... 

http://apps.facebook.com/wildfire/fbhandler.ashx?mode=side_nav

yes .. it is on my face book page. Cafe mom thought it was to big of a video. Even if you don't have stress, or anxiety, or panic. Please watch..

Thanks ..

If I can do this so can you!!!!!!!

All things are possible.

Love to all ...

[Lb128f]

Nov. 9, 2009 at 1:39 PM

Wow...fantastic post! I'm so glad you are feeling better and finding some answers, that's GREAT!! I hope your journey will continue to open doors...writing, the group, a job, getting out...wow....just WOW!!!! Carry on!!