I just love my grandkids, even more on some days

[MOmomof8]

When my kids were little, they were my world.  Now, my grandkids are my world.  Some days they can drive me absolutely crazy...well, crazier bc I'm already crazy.  I wish all my grandkids lived close so I could see them all at least once a week.  I talked to my 8 year old granddaughter tonight, like I have been doing for a few weeks now.  She has the cutiest little voice.  We are just getting to know each other bc I wasn't allowed to see her for 5 years.  I'm so glad that changed for the better.  Purple is both of our favorite color.  It's my husband's favorite too.  We have a lot in common but not everything of course.  She is just such a sweetheart.  But then I think all of my grandkids are sweethearts from time to time.  No, not all the time though, there are times that I just want them to go home.  My mom used to tell me" Sarah, take your kids home."   She was a beautician & had her own shop in the basement of our house.  So I would go over & visit with her & her clients sometimes.  She would tell me to take my kids home & her clients would gasp.  They told her if they said that to their daughters they would never see them again.  I always understood why she said that.  My kids would exhaust her.  My middle son, Nathan, would talk & talk & talk.  He would wear me out talking all the time.  My oldest son, Travis, was my quiet one.  My youngest, Nick, was my wild one.  Travis was the easy one when they were small but when he became a teenager he was so moody.  His nickname is bear & he really is a bear most of the time, mostly to me & Nathan.  I don't think I have a grandkid like him but I do Nathan & Nick.  Nagi is a lot like Nick, he can be wild at times & I hear that his sister, Nita can be too.   I guess Amber is the one most like Travis, she is Travis' daughter.  She's 12 & has been in our lives for 5 years now, I think.  It seems like she has always been in our family.   Cody, Travis' oldest son, is very talkative.  When I call him or he calls me, he does almost all the talking.  I have to laugh.  Nagi & Nita are Travis' children too.  Nathan had 2 children but has lost both, his son died when he was 17 months old & his daughter was adopted by her stepdad.  That doesn't make any difference to me, they are still & always will be my grandchildren.  His daughter is the one I call every Monday night & write to.  Travis has a daughter, she's 13, that we aren't allowed to see or talk to.  I think she was adopted by her stepdad as well but I don't know for sure.  I see pictures of her on myspace & her mom blogs about her once in a while.  She is beautiful, like all of my granddaughters of course.  All my grandsons are very handsome, see I didn't leave them out.   Nick & his girlfriend have a little boy that reminds me of his daddy a lot.  But his looks are like a good mix of both of them.  He is a mommy's boy just like his dad was.  I thought Nick would be living with me until I got old & died.  When he was a teenager he worried me, he would say that if & when I die he would kill himself bd he wouldn't live without me.  That has all changed now.  In fact, when he turned 18 he moved in with his dad & stepmom.  He told me he wanted to give his dad the same kind of time I had with him.  I didn't like it but I didn't tell him not too.  He lived with them for about a year, then he moved in with his oldest brother, Travis & his wife, Di.  I can't remember how long that lasted but he ended up back here with me.  Now he lives out on his own with his girlfriend, Dani, & their son, Elias.  Then there is Vicki's kids, Chris & JJ.  JJ is named after my dh's late wife, Judy.  Chris is named after his dad's best friend.  Chris is starting to be a fussy baby but he is a cutie.  He's learning to walk.  His sister, JJ, on the other hand, is spoiled rotten.  All my kids & grandkids are spoiled but not like she is.  In fact, I refuse to watch her all the time.  I only watch her when her daddy is sick & nobody else is available.  She is so cute & so tiny but she screams or cries everytime you try to correct her.   She's been better to watch lately cause sh sleeps most of the time she is here.  I had a doctor's appointment today so my dh watched Chris & JJ until Vicki picked them up.  I had planned on my dh going with me & taking Rose but he wasn't feeling well.  Rose got to play with JJ for awhile.   All they do is fight so I don't know why Rose wants to play with JJ.  JJ don't seem to care one way or another.   I guess now we have 2 more grandchildren.  My dh & his late wife, Judy, were foster parents & one of their foster kids still calls my dh from time to time.  She even calls him Dad.  He seen her on his trip this past weekend & she introduced him as Grandpa.  He was so proud of that.  He had 2 more sons but they passed away.  One, Little Jack, died when he was 10 days old & they never got to bring him home.  His other son, Chad, died when he was 20 in a car accident.   Chad had a hard time as a teenager & was just getting his life together.  He would be 37 now.  Little Jack would be 23, just a month younger than my youngest, Nick.  I like to think that Chad & Travis would be good friends & Little Jack & Nick would be good friends.  Just think of all the grandchildren we would have had.  I have always wanted a big family.  I was an only child until I was 19 when my 1/'2 sister was born.  I had 2 stepsister when I was 16 but didn't spend much time with them.  Then when my mom married I gained 2 more stepsisters.  When my stepmother's mom died, it came out that her sister was really her daughter so I gained another stepsister.  You might think that my family is odd or wierd but mine is nothing compared to my stepmother's family.  I don't think I'll ever know everything about them.  Janie only tells me a little bit then her girls tell me just a little more.  The stories I could tell, man or man.  I'm not her favorite person, never have been.  Maybe bc she is only 7 years older than I am, I don't know.  She has the problem, not me.  She isn't my favorite person either but I have good reasons for that.  I've never done anything to her like she has my mom, sons & me.  Maybe one day I will write about all that.  So since there are 19 years between my sister & me, it feels more like she is my daughter & her kids feel more like my grandkids.  I talk to 3 of her kids on the internet from time to time.  I've not spoken to my sister in months bc of what she said about my mom.  She hasn't even tried to call & apologize to me.  She was drunk at the time but she remembers bc she told our dad about it.  I don't have the best relationship with my dad, either.  That's a whole other story of it's own that I might tell at a later time. 

I wish for a lot of things but the thing I want most is for my family to have family holidays together.  It would be great to have all my kids & all my grandkids together for Christmas or Thanksgiving or I would take any holiday, I'm not picky.  But I know that will never happen since we don't see one of my grandkids, one of them died & some of my kids just don't spend holidays with us.  They spend holidays with their inlaws or grandmother.  The grandmother is another story, she is Judy's mom.  She never has liked me but more now than before.  I treat Skylor the same as I do my boys which means I call him on things he does wrong.  I don't hold back on anyone but Vicki.  I do her cause she screams, cries, storms out & we don't her from her for a while.  Yeah, that's where JJ gets it & I've been told Vicki has always been like this. 

I do love my kids & grandkids but I also know them & they aren't perfect.  But my grandkids are closer than my kids are.....j/k    Maybe I'll start writing stories about my memories with each of my kids.....no, they would get upset with me.  They don't like it when I talk about them to anyone other than family & close friends.  But there are some stories that I could share, so maybe next time.  It just depends on my mood when I start writing & what is on my mind.