fed up

[KrysRemi]

lol, funny i have started to just stay to myslef due to stupid people, stupid town and stupid rumors i'm tired of listening to. well i stay to myself yet i'm told i'm keeping matt from justin's family, yet i have let my son spend weekends with justins family, his mom had him last weekend and spent it with her sister, jamie had him and this coming weekend granny and carolyn want him and as far as i know justin is takin him ovr there. so how am i not letting matt go ovr to justins family? yeah big deal i'm not talkin to most of them. what is the big deal with me stayin to myself for awhile? then on top of that i really only have a few friends. i don't get along with that many people and i pretty much quit talkin to those that like drama, well this last week i met a new woman that happens to be one of my x's older brothers wife. well i went and spent the weekend with her and apprently someone saw me hangin all ovr my x (whom i haven't seen in almost 5 yrs) which i find funny since 1. i was either in the house asleep that day or 2. her, her husband and me went out to a deer lease. o and the only person i was hangin off of was her and we were inside. plus come to find out their brohter was workin all weekend so how was he in two places at once and for that matter how was i? o and someone claims they heard from my lips i have an open relationship, open, i think not. yeah i'm bi and all, but how does that add up to open relationship? then on top of that i have been keeping my distance from alot of people, figured u know that it would be for the best cuz no matter wat i say, they think i'm lyin anyway, and for the most part either they don't like me or i don't like them, we just kind of put up with one another. which is fine i'm ok with that, and all i have said is that i just don't want to keep playin all these games so i'm done with it and i'll just stay away. i told justin its all good just leave me out of some things, take matt go spend time with ur family, hell i have him all the time, it doesn't bother me, give me a break, so its all good. least for me. right now i am more concerned with school and now finding a job. i don't have time for all the arguments, ever since i have had matt i have changed and i know that. it tends to happen to women, and so wat if i'm a little more cold hearted and less easier to deal with, i still have my GOOD friends and i know who i am or atelast i am findout out who i am. i know i have become cold hearted to most and i have begain not to worry about if who i am offends others or if i piss off people. i hold my tounge to a point but there is a boiling point and i tend to boil ovr when the heat just keeps coming. i'm tired of being who i'm not and i'm tired of trying to keep peaceful wen i just don't want to any longer. i can't keep handling looking at someone and smiling wen i know they have said somethin that just makes me want to puke from the stupidity. i'm tired of smiling at someone like i don't know what they say, some people just really need to smell their own shit before sniffin my ass. course i guess some people have nothin better to do then puttin their nose where it don't belong.