Memories

[bgdvil]

Just about everyday you probably flash back to one of those moment that make you smile.  Memories with one of your children or perhaps a friend. You look forward to making more memories with the people in your life.  When your having hard times you try and remember the memories from when you were happier. I personally have to rely on my memories.  Everyday to remind myself of happier times I think about my son Symon.  A memory of him waking up with that crazy hair.  The board game he wanted to play everyday after school, and always reminding me that he was the blue one. 

However I also have haunting memories. Complete silence yet so many people around.  I can hear my own voice over and over again. The man with no expression just staring at me.  My other son's indescribable expression.

Someday i hope only the good memories will remain.  That day will be forgotten replaced with the memory of his birth instead of his death.

[Lb128f]

Nov. 10, 2009 at 8:23 AM

I'm sorry...I know you are struggling and too that your older son is...I hope you all are in counseling...it really can help and it does make a difference. Compassionate Friends is a great group. It may not feel like anyone can relate to what you are dealing with, that no one will ever understand the pain and heartache...but, it's surprising how being around others who DO understand can help. I know that Symon would want you to remember the good times...to celebrate his life and the memories you have of all the wonderful moments spent with him. I hope sometime when you feel ready you will share some more of those moments with us. Like you've done above...in him always being the "blue" guy in board games, sweet. I think that's something we all can relate to. My son's "green" :-) I hope you know that Symon is always 'with you"....despite the fact that he is not here physically...I'm sure there are "signs" that he's around...do you ever see, hear or feel him? Have you had dreams about him? The kind of dreams I call "visits"...where it feels like the person IS there? I'll be keeping you all in prayer.