New Rules for Posting In "Answers"! Read and Remember:

[ErinHill226]

I think we're all a little tired of the rudeness and immaturity that has turned the "Answers" message board into an all out war in some posts...and is just sucking the fun and community from the rest. Therefore, I submit the following rules and regulations that all moms should follow when both posting and answering questions. Obviously, there is no way to enforce them...but perhaps they will at least be kept in mind the next time someone feels the need to say something nasty or just plain bizarre. Or at the very least, be slightly entertaining for someone as sick of it as I am!

RULES FOR ASKERS:

#1- We do not know if you are pregnant, so please don't ask and just go take a test or see your doctor. Honestly...there is no way that any of us can tell you anymore than what you already know. Missed period? Take a test. Nausea and sore boobs? Take a test. Crowning? Go the emergency room. I should also note that this doesn't include questions like "Is headache a symptom of pregnancy". Those are okay because it's more common knowledge. The inner workings of your particular uterus...are not.

#2- Don't ask questions just to piss people off. You already know what will happen if you post "Breastfeeding moms, was I wrong to not breastfeed?" or my favorite "I am smoking pot while pregnant, what do you all think of that?"

#3- Don't ask for opinions and then get mad when we answer with the wrong ones. If someone is rude or nasty to you, then yes, you can be upset and defend yourselves. But don't ask if we think something is wrong, sad, good, stupid, etc...and then argue the opposite point when we dont' tell you what you want to hear. If you have your opinion already set on an issue, you probably dont' need our ideas anyway.

#4- Refrain from using language that is too graphic. Yes, we're all big girls here and we can handle a little banter about sex. However..."me and my boyfriend had sex and he cum all in me" is just plain distracting and a little gross. The correct phrasing would be: "My boyfriend and I had unprotected sex, and he didn't pull out."

#5- Please use real words. "wut", "wuz", "wit", "cum" ...are all distracting. It's one extra letter folks! DISCLAIMER: ttc, dd, dh, ds, etc...are all obviously fine. Just don't use shortened versions for every other word.

RULES FOR ANSWERING:

#1- If you have to answer anonymously, you probably should not be answering. If your answer is so rude, inappropriate, mean, or judgemental that you don't want to show your face...please just move on to a question you feel less bitchy about. You are not helping anyone, educating anyone, or making yourself look better. In fact, you look pretty darn awful and childish. DISCLAIMER: This rule does not include those who are answering a question politely, but in a question that may contain confidential or embarrasing information. For example, "Yes, I do have genital herpes" or "My boss actually slept with his secretary and I caught them."

#2- Answer the question that was actually ASKED. If someone asks "What is the best kind of baby formula?" your answer should not be "You shouldn't use formula, breastfeeding is the best kind of food for your baby." Or even "My husband cheated two years ago, and we're just getting over it...how can I further our recovery if..." and you reply "Leave him!" It doesn't matter if your answer is true or valid or close to home...the asker was not inviting you to jump in with your own ideals and beliefs in an attempt to discredit THEIR ideals and beliefs. Step down from your virtual soapbox and either answer with something helpful, or move on.

#3- If you have PMS, please just stay off the site for a day or two. That would help a lot.

#4- If you have a personal story to share that will help the person solve a problem or see a new point of view, please...do share. If you are sharing your story to demonstrate your superb mothering skills and extreme awesomeness...please go write it in your journal and give yourself a nice pat on the back...but leave it off the Answers board. Case in point: someone says "I have trouble keeping my house organized because I"m so busy with dd" to which you respond "My house is always spotless because I wake up at the crack of dawn, take my six children to school, and then come home to scrub my floors with a Q-tip and bake bread made from organic stone ground wheat." We're happy for you. Really. But we don't need to hear about it when we're already having a bad day. If you really need for someone to say "wow, you're amazing" THAT badly...you probably have bigger issues than we do.

#5- Just because you start an answer with "Not to be mean" or "Don't wanna be rude"...that does not give you the go ahead to say whatever you want. It's still mean. If your intro has to be followed by "BUT...", don't type anymore. The same rule applies if you go on a tirade about the asker's beliefs and follow it up with "But...to each her own!" To fix a question like this, erase everything you wrote before "To each her own!"

#6- Words like "stupid", "idiot" and "Retard" are all insults commonly used by five year olds for good reason. They're juvenille. If you must express your beliefs that something is harmful or wrong..."Unaccetable" or "Please seek help" are much better options that might actually get through to someone. Insulting them will only make them defensive and make you look like...an idiot. (tee hee)

Alrighty, if anyone has something to add...please let me know!

 

[Mom2Adalee]

Nov. 10, 2009 at 9:49 PM

Pretty good advice!

[ARmom]

Nov. 10, 2009 at 10:35 PM

[MSugarKane]

Nov. 11, 2009 at 5:19 AM

Sometimes in the two years I have answered questions for women on Cafe Mom, they are seriously asking and don't know any better.  Take that into consideration when replying to a woman.  She just might be seriously asking.  My motto is "There are no bad questions" .....and if a post bothers you, move on to the next one and forget about the one that annoys you.

[ErinHill226]

Nov. 11, 2009 at 2:29 PM

The rules for askers are mostly because the women who post with language like that are the ones who get attacked most frequently. So it's mostly to help them NOT get bashed rather than it bothering me personally. If nobody else answers kindly, I usually try and give them something helpful or at least friendly. :-D

(Original Poster)

[maverickskande]

Feb. 27, 2010 at 4:40 PM

#5 for Askers -  okay, i just answered my own issue.  LOL.  I was gonna say that in the comment forum i am only allowed 940 characters so, I do tend to use text Type to get all my moneys worth in the gag.  

 

and #4 for Answerers =   cracked me Up. 

all n all these are great 'rules 2 post by'.    I am glad I read them!