Bullying leads to teen's suicide

[jsbenkert]

This story caught my attention on my local news.  Once again, bullies have pushed a child into committing suicide.  In an interview on the news, the mother of this young man is speaking out in hopes of drawing attention to the serious consequences of bullying.  This is a tragedy that could have been prevented.  Shame on the parents of the bullies, shame on the school system, shame on everyone who failed this teenager.

By David Carroll
[e-mail]

CHATSWORTH, GA (WRCB)-  A Murray County couple is speaking out about their son's recent suicide.  David and Tina Long say their 17-year-old son Tyler was a victim of bullying; and his school, Murray County High, didn't do enough to stop it.

Tyler had been diagnosed with symptoms of autism when he was a child, and was more recently diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome.  Tina Long said, "Tyler was unable to detect when someone was kidding or joking with him.  He was unable to comprehend certain facial expressions and body language.  Some kids knew this and took advantage of him, and it sometimes led to fights or other disputes.  He was a good student, good with computers, loved karate and ROTC.  But the Asperger's Syndrome was a difficult part of his life."

A DIFFICULT DAY AT SCHOOL

The Longs say their son was bullied and picked on from 5th Grade until he took his life on October 17.  The previous day, they said, was particularly difficult for him.  He came home from school that Friday evening, and retired to his room.  The next morning, his father and younger brother found him dead.  He had hanged himself.

The couple say they spent much of Tyler's middle and high school years meeting with Murray County School administrators, warning them that Tyler was being bullied, and needed help.  Tina Long says, "They got tired of us coming around, they called me the "B-word.  We'd go to meetings, and the people who were supposed to be there, didn't show up.  We were told we could get a Big Brother for him, or a Para-professional to watch after him.  It never happened.    We would complain about bullying and they would tell us that boys will be boys.  We'd ask how he was doing, they would say he was just fine."

But the Longs knew better.  They say Tyler dreaded the start of school each year, and was overjoyed at school starting several weeks late this year due to budget cuts.  They say he killed himself because "he couldn't take it any more.  He was tired of the pain."

MURRAY COUNTY SCHOOLS RESPOND

They say they have e-mailed Murray County Superintendent Vickie Reed to request a meeting, but she has not replied.  David said, "There's so much they could do to help victims of bullying, but they're not doing anything, and that bothers me."

Dean Donehoo, Director of Administrative Services for Murray County Schools, issued this statement to Eyewitness News:

"The Long family has suffered a terrible tragedy. The sympathies of the Murray County School System are extended to this family as they face this difficult time of loss.

Under provisions of law, information about students and their schooling is strictly protected and confidential. While our sympathies extend to the family we simply cannot comment on any matters that are protected by legally imposed confidentialities."

The Longs say they are hurt that Murray Co. High "has not even done a moment of silence for Tyler.  They will not mention him at an assembly.  They say they don't want to glorify him," said Tina.

WHY SPEAK OUT?

They say they're speaking out "because that's all we can do for him now."  David says, "I know most people want to pretend suicide doesn't happen, but it does.  And a lot of people don't want to acknowledge the seriousness of bullying and what it can lead to, but we've experienced it, and we don't want anyone else to go through what we have."

The Longs say, "Parents have legal rights when they have children with disabilities, but many school districts don't want you to know that.  We're self-taught, like a lot of others.  If you don't ask for help, you sure won't get it.  We asked for help, repeatedly, and got a little bit, but not what Tyler needed, and not what he was entitled to."

THE BULLYING CONTINUES

Sadly, they say the bullying and harassment have continued since Tyler's death.  They say his two younger siblings, both 14, still deal with it every day.  Tina said, "A boy at school drew a noose around Tyler's picture, and my daughter saw it.  Was he punished for it?  No, an assistant principal said the boy didn't mean anything by it.  That's the kind of response Tyler got when he was alive."

David Long said, "If someone came up to me and said they were having problems being bullied, I would see to it that it stopped right then, no questions asked.  But at school, they just talk to them, not punish them.  They give bullies so many opportunities before anything is addressed in a serious manner."

The Longs say they would gladly visit schools and talk to students about the effects of bullying, and their personal tragedy, "but most schools probably wouldn't want to hear what we have to say.  I wish they knew that unless they take this more seriously, and make it a higher priority, it's just going to get worse.  If not suicide, then someone is going to get seriously hurt.  And it seems like they're only worried about keeping it off the news."

David said, "I'm not going to say I blame Murray County Schools for Tyler's suicide, but I will say their negligence was a major contributor."  Tina concluded, "If the schools were doing what they were supposed to do, which is ensure a safe environment for all students, we would not be in this position.  They dropped the ball." 

[KTMOM]

Nov. 11, 2009 at 8:23 PM

:(  so sad.

[jsbenkert]

Nov. 11, 2009 at 9:05 PM

I guess I forgot to add the actual story when I first submitted this post--sorry!  The story is tragic.  It should never have happened.

(Original Poster)

[evwsquared]

Nov. 12, 2009 at 1:11 AM

Wow. I hope that this school is unusually negligent with respect to bullying. Aren't we way past the "boys will be boys" days?

[parrishsky]

Nov. 12, 2009 at 12:09 PM

I'm having problems with the high school my kids attend. My son's personal property was vandalized, my son knew who it was but the vice principal said it was his word against the other boys, so they did nothing!! Last week my daughter's property was stolen by a known thief and I am actually shocked they did something. Sure my daugther did the brave thing by confronting the boy who then admitted it. We told the assistant vice principal, otherwise the school was just telling me there was nothing they could do. I am sick to death of hearing there is nothing they can do, or "boys will be boys". This boy Tyler would be alive today had that school done what they said they would and cared just a little bit. What a shame, such a sad story....

[cleanaturalady]

Nov. 13, 2009 at 9:01 AM

I hate bullies.  They do so much damage to other kids.