Its not just "the gays" who should be worried..

[LuminousMom]

 

(typed out below..)

 

If this country is going to allow the bible to dictate what marriage is.. I suppose we have to follow all of these Amendments, right?  wait. Some of you who are SO anti-gay marriage might fit into one or more of these. So, how does it feel?

(I know the photo is small so I typed it all out for you.)

Proposal to amend the united states constitution to conform to biblical principles regarding marriage:

Amendment XXVII: No state may sanction marriage between people of the same gender.

Amendment XXIX: No state may sanction marriage between a man and a woman who was married preciously but has since divorced (Matthew 5:32).

Amendment XXX: No state may sanction marriage involving a widow (unless it is to her brother-in-law--see amendment 34). All women whose husbands have passed away are to refrain from intimacy and pleasure for the remainder of their lives (1 Timothy 5:5-15).

Amendment XXXI: No state may sanction marriage between people of different races (Deuteronomy 7:3; Numbers 25:6-8;36;3-9; 1 Kings 11:2; Ezra 9:2; Nehemia 13:25-27).

Amendment XXXII: No state may sanction marriage involving a man who has had sexual thoughts about a woman other than the one he intends to marry (Matthew 5:28).

Amendment XXXIV: No state may sanction marriage between a man whose brother has passed away and any woman other than his brothers widow. Each state must require the brother of a deceased man to marry his brothers widow (Deuteronomy 25:5-10).

Amendment XXXV: No state may sanction marriage between a man and any woman unwilling to promise in her wedding bows to obey her husband and submit to his every whim (Ephesians 5:22-23; 1 Corinthians 11:3; Colossionas 3:18; 1 Timothy 2:11-12; Titus 2:3, 5; Peter 3:1).

Amendment XXXVII: No state may sanction marriage in which the wedding ceremony is to occur during the womans menstrual cycle unless the prospective spouses agree to refrain from intimate relations until the womans period of uncleanness has terminated (Leviticus 18:19, 20:18; Ezekiel 18:5-6).

Amendment XXXVIII: No state may sanction a marriage between a minister and any woman other than a virgin (Leviticus 21:13-14)

Amendment XXXIX: No state may sanction marriage between a rapist and any woman other than his victim. States must require a rapist to marry his victim (Deuteronomy 22:28-29) unless the victim failed to cry out, in which case the rapist is relieved of this obligation (Deuteronomy 22:23-24).

Amendment XXXX: No state may sanction marriage between a man and an aggressive or contentious woman (Proverbs 21:9, 21:19, 25:24, 27:15)

 

In the lords holy name and in service to our Christian nation and Christian President, Unites states department of faith.

 

 

See what happens when we take the bible too literally? Words can be interpreted many different ways. There are those who will cry out "That's not what it means!" well, I don't care. I didn't write it. And, perhaps you should then consider that many of us think the same thing when you say gay marriage is a sin, or that it should not be allowed because "the bible says..."

And, if you want marriage to be a religious institution only... surely you must follow all of these biblical principals. Husband dies? You are required to marry his brother. Been divorced? Too bad! You cant marry again. Love someone of another race? Get over it! Find someone of your own race. Got raped? Cheer up ladies! He will be forced to marry you, and you to him! Unless of course you were quiet for fear of being killed... then its OK. Hes off the hook.

P.S... better not leave the house when you are on the rag... you might get attacked for being out during your period of uncleanness. You should wait until its terminated.

 

To those who asked where it was found and if it was a "REAL" document....

"Freehold, Iowa - The United States Department of Faith consists of a diverse group of conservative Republican Evangelical Baptist Pastors. "Some of us are divorced, some of us are remarried, some of us are single," says board member, Pastor Deacon Fred. This month, the Board of Directors voted unanimously to reiterate mainstream America's stance on the sanctity of marriage by delivering to the U.S. Senate, the House of Representatives and the President of the United States, the following proposal to incorporate Biblical restrictions on marriage into our Godly nation's otherwise embarrassingly flawed Constitution.  "

found via Landover Baptist Church - http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news1003/marriage.html

Sounds pretty "real" to me.

[LuminousMom]

Nov. 11, 2009 at 10:24 PM

PS is it just me or is it comical that gay marriage is the only one without any bible versus quoted?

(Original Poster)

[LoriaAnn]

Nov. 11, 2009 at 10:35 PM

damn...5 of those either apply to my first marriage or would apply if i were to marry my SO...lol...i guess i would be SOL

[Lindalu2]

Nov. 11, 2009 at 10:52 PM

Oh my goodness!!!  Amazing that some considered those rules could be enforced,huh? Crazy !  Thanks for this....It just points out once again how we need to ignore rules that were made by some controlling men thousands of years ago. Things have changed and the Bible thumpers need to catch up. LOL. I voted popular!

[LuminousMom]

Nov. 12, 2009 at 3:31 AM

lol I know its hilarious, right? Its so ridiculous all I Can do is laugh at it.. it doesnt offend me when people say they think same sex marriage shouldnt be allowed... BUT I do think those same people should then stand by the "sanctity of marriage" pronouncement they have made an enforce all the rules of marriage the bible presents. Cant have one without the others, now can we... ::snicker::

(Original Poster)

[Mama0f3grlz]

Nov. 12, 2009 at 8:41 AM

Well hot damn, I guess my marriage isn't legal either! But then again, I'm unclean right now so I deserve to be stoned on more than one account. lol

[LuminousMom]

Nov. 12, 2009 at 10:16 AM

hahaha! My gay friend, who was in the military with my husband but had to hide his sexuality for 8 years, posted this on his facebook which is where I originally found it. The cool thing about Dan is he has friends of all walks of life.. and he is friends with most of the people from the squadron. One of the guys is named Duane and hes a minister now.. and even Duane read this and said its shameful, terrifying, and he said something along the line of "its not our place to judge, that's for god to do so who are we to deny them the right?". He and Dan have had quite a few debates about this in the past - heated ones- but apparently Duane is changed his position on the subject. If someone like him can, anyone can.

(Original Poster)

[caitxrawks]

Nov. 12, 2009 at 10:33 AM

One of my favorite lines from the bible is every time it mentions someone being "unclean."

"If a man spills his seed, he shall be unclean until even."

"If a woman has the curse of blood, she shall be unclean until even."

LOL "unclean until even" is so funny.

[LuminousMom]

Nov. 12, 2009 at 10:41 AM

From another ultra religious friend of ours:

 "anyway people who believe this way- using God as a weapon, and words as ammo, are frankly its childish. to hold a 2,000 year old book up and claim it as truth, when we all know that while faith and believing in the all powerful God is great, beautiful, and awesome, you cant expect a man-writen sandscript to be your best defence to pushing back water ideas on normal people. And lastly, The bible this person used to site these out of is from the King James, and historically we all know that he ( Francis Bacon) pervered the bible and re-wrote it. so if you plan on using the God's will best to use the right context and not 16th century (1611 A.D.) which was written to support the divine right to rule."

^ I like his answer.

(Original Poster)

[sanidem5]

Nov. 12, 2009 at 11:42 AM

I am posting this on my Facebook. I get so pissed with ppl's biblical nonsense in reference to gay marriage. This is AWESOME =)

[RNsteph]

Nov. 12, 2009 at 12:45 PM

I posted it on my facebook also...I love it!