It's seriously frustrating me. I (and I'm sure everyone else) HATE condoms. They're annoying, time consuming, smelly, expensive, and just don't feel nice. Spermicides aren't reliable. Caps and diaphragms have to be placed (I'm not comfortable with that) and left in place each time and still aren't reliable. No way in hell would I use any of those hormonal pills, shots, rings, or anything else. I'm too young for tubal ligation or a hysterectomy. I'm afraid of putting faith in natural family planning cause of my irregular period. I'd rather not turn to extreme measures like Plan B or abortions. I don't want to get pregnant but abstinence just isn't happening. So I was more than happy when I found about paragard. Most of it's risks were more likely to happen during insertion or soon after and I got by that just fine. No hormones, no commitment, one time insertion, for my age group, just awesome. Well every woman handles things in her uterus differently and I guess mine is just stubborn. I remember my mom telling me about periods when I was younger. She said it was no big deal, it happens to everyone, and we all learn to live with the inconvenience. When I first got my period, I cursed her under my breath for feeding me such lies. I 100% HATED my period. I actually remember throwing a fit cause I thought the blood would stop at night and I wouldn't have to sleep in a pad. About 9 years later, I still HATE my period. I always got the most painful cramps and back pain. The nurses told me that paragard had the risk or making my period worse, but I had to take that risk since no other birth control was an option. I hoped for the best. For about 10 months now, I've still HATED my period times a billion!! Before I start, I have a few days of heavy spotting. Then the super heavy flow for more days to come. EXTREME pain for my entire lower body, acne that I haven't seen since before my pregnancy, increased fatigue, feeling hot, and a WAY higher sense of irritability towards everyone that I feel terrible for having. Even at random times of the month when I'm not menstruating, I spot heavily and feel monster cramps. So it's taking out more than a week of each month. I expected stuff like this for HORMONAL treatments, so I was surprised and pissed off when it started happening to me with my hormone free birth control. I was talking to a friend about it and she said Well anything placed directly in your uterus doing something as huge as keeping it from making babies is bound to affect your hormones and the rest of you. I hadn't even thought of it. She was right. I thought I was taking the lesser of the birth control evils but it still makes me miserable. I thought I could ride it out, but the irritability combined with times of stress is just too much. I hate when Ivy wants rough or heavy play then I randomly spot and cramp. I'm tired of always needing a pad, tampon, or liner. So I've decided to take it out in the next few months. I'm sure I'll feel much better but then what about birth control???? This IUD was my last hope. The most practical and safest thing I can think of is condoms. I talked to my insurance and they said they cover X amount of basic generic brand condoms. Lucas and I hate them and neither of us feels safe using a generic brand. I imagine they're not very pleasurable either. Maybe I've just been reading too many feminist blogs lately but I'm starting to hate nature for being such a sexist bitch! I can't handle keeping this thing in me anymore and I don't trust any of the other methods. So I have no idea what we're going to use after I take it out. Until then I guess I'll just bang my head on a wall in frustration.

banging head into wall

Add A Comment

Comments:

calli...
Nov. 12, 2009 at 3:35 PM HOnestly...it sounds like condoms are the best idea...and really they're not THAT expensive..that's what my hubby and I do. I hate birth contol too! I've always had miserable periods and BC would just make it worse....sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and do what works and at the same time isn't dangerous to your body. Just my opinion. Good luck :)

Message Friend Invite

rozepyle
Nov. 12, 2009 at 3:55 PM

i think you should just try a cap once.... just to get it out of the way. im in the same boat as you except im too chicken shit to get the paraguard. birth control is ... just goes against nature in every way possible and yes condoms can get expensive if you have a hefty sex life, they STINK ugh that smell gets to me every time, i hate them just as much as you do but sometimes its worth it to be with your hubby. you can always do the pull out method and hope for the best ;) im learning slowly how to "control my agitation" through meditation but nature always wins hands down theres no arguing there. i get pain when i ovulate and the week before my period then during the period its more!! yay!! go us 

i remind myself we need our periods. but then i dream of what it would be like if we didnt have them, oh what a world!!

Message Friend Invite

wendy...
Nov. 12, 2009 at 4:11 PM

Ok, is it temporary or are you done having kids?  Because if you are done, then you and your man should definitely discuss vasectomy. 

If youre not done, then your best and safest bet is NFP with condoms.  It's about more than just tracking your periods, so the irregularity doesn't matter.  If you haven't yet, I definitely suggest reading a book called "Taking Control of You Fertility"  It has great information about TTC and TTP. And it is really all the same steps except with TTC you have sex during the ovulation time, and with TTP you don't! (or you use condoms during this time).

Even if you are irregular, you're going by more clues such as temps and Cervical mucous, so it doesn't matter if your last period was 15 days ago or 45 days ago... your body tells you when it ovulates!

Until you get comfortable with NFP, condoms are the way to go... have you tried things other than latex?

Message Friend Invite

jus1jess
Nov. 12, 2009 at 4:18 PM

Thanks Wendy. I'm done but I'm pretty sure he's too young for a vasectomy too (20). I've only ever used latex. The only other types I know of (correct me if I'm wrong) are lambskin which cost even more. I was under the impression that the period had a LOT to do with TTP. I'll check that out =)

Message Friend Invite (Original Poster)

wendy...
Nov. 12, 2009 at 5:14 PM

It does have to do with TTP, but when you're irregular, there are other more accurate signs of ovulation to look for.  

Like in a woman who had a regular 28 day cycle, she knows her period will come 14 days after ovulation, and ovulation will come 14 days after her period.  

But in someone with an irregular cycle, those numbers vary so much that while your period will still come 14 days after ovulation... there is no gaurantee the next ovulation will come 14 days later... it could be 20 days, or 10!  So if you look for signs of ovulation, you know exactly when you've ovulated, rather than just assuming you've ovulated 14 days after your period.  

(of course all these numbers are just an example... )  I hope I'm not confusing!  The book definitely helps a lot in this!  

Message Friend Invite

jus1jess
Nov. 12, 2009 at 5:27 PM

Thaks =) I'm on Amazon looking at it now.

Message Friend Invite (Original Poster)

rozepyle
Nov. 12, 2009 at 6:45 PM

you can often tell if you are ovulating if you feel a little twinge in one of your sides, its different each month i personally get migraines, fatigue cramps etc. and my period is no where to be seen so look out for all that 

Message Friend Invite

Cryst...
Nov. 15, 2009 at 8:45 PM

I feel the same way but never heard or the paraguard and I am looking for something non hormonal since im bf but i hate condoms too (make me dry and irritated) and they don't even work all the time which is why i have my son now.

Message Friend Invite

mama2...
Nov. 20, 2009 at 12:09 AM

What about using a ovulation predictor instead of TTC on those days your careful. Just use it in reverse at least you will know for sure if you are ovulating or not! I think for the whole kit its 40.00 then you will get an idea when you ovulate after a few months and can go with NFP!

~good luck

Message Friend Invite

Want to leave a comment and join the discussion?

Sign up for CafeMom!

Already a member? Click here to log in