About Me

[Desaire24]

 I don't know where to begin so I guess I'll start with a little bit about me and my current situation. My name is Desaire and Ill be 24 this December 18Th and I have a 3 year old boy named Tristin. His fathers name is Justin and he is 31 years old -that's right 7 years older than me. Justin and I just recently separated. We have been separated for 5 months.

 Justin and I meet 4 years ago at a party that one of our friends was hosting. The both of us were not drinking so we quickly found something to talk about. We talked practically the hole night (it was and always has been easy to talk to my sons father). Later that evening some friends decided they wanted to go out to eat and because I was not drinking I became the DD so Justin and his friends road in my car to the restaurant. We ate talked some more and had a good time but at the end of the night we all went our separate ways and there were no numbers exchanged, I don't think Justin or I thought about each otherthat way at that time. The next morning when I woke up my friend called me up and asked if Justin had left his wallet in my car the night before when we went out to eat so I went to my car to check it out and in fact did have his wallet. Justin came over that day to get the wallet and AGAIN we started talking we talked practically all day until it was night and when we went out to smoke realised it was getting late so he was getting ready to leave and all the sudden kissed me! So this time we exchanged numbers. We went on our first date that weekend and after that we were pretty much inseparable. He spent the night at my house allot and me at his. Everything just happened SO fast. Two months later my roommate and I began having problems so Justin convinced me to move out and come live with him and I agreed and did. Two months after that Justin and I found out that I was pregnant with his son. If your not keeping track Justin and I meet, fell in love, and within two months I was living with him and with in a total of four months being together I got pregnant with his son.

 The first year we spent together I was pregnant with Tristin and it was like (for me) heaven on earth I think we both were so in love. After Trisitnwas born it was great for a while but I noticed around when Tristin was six months old we began having problems; Money was tight, Justin was working and going to school so we hardly saw each other much at all.

 Around the time that Tristinturned one I found out that I am bipoler and that explains alot of why I am the way that I am but I think that scared Justin a little bit. We couldn't afford for both of us to work and to put Tristin in day care so I started collecting well fair and stayed home with our son. I was soo bored all of the time and we only had one car so I never really got out of the house. Justin on the other hand was working and going to school all the time and even started going to play poker at the bar every Wednesday this was even harder on me anddrove a wedge between us I think. However after a while I found other things to do and meet some people in our apartment complex. Justin didn't seem to like this at all, it was almost like he was comfortable with me being the little housewife and never going anywhere or doing anything but after I meet and made new friends I was going out more and having more fun; I was a happier person.

  Let me tell you a little bit about the friends I made: They were a married couple. Tessa was 21 and Ryan was (idk) around the same age as Justin and they lived upstairs from us. We were at each others house everyday. I loved Tessa like a best friend and got along pretty well with her husband Ryan. Tessa was a nurse and worked at home. She started her own daycare and Ryan was a truck driver so he worked all of the time too so Tessa was like me all alone most of the time. Tessa and I tried really hard to make Ryan and Justin become best friends too but they were nothing alike so that didn't really work. It seemed the more we tried to push them together the more Justin pushed away, not only from Ryan and Tessa but from me too.

 Around the time of Tristin's 2nd birthday Justin started accusing me and Ryan of sleeping together which was totally ridiculous becuase Ryan worked all the time and Tessa was always home when Ryan was home.One day Justin freaked out and told Ryan and Tessa and told them they had to stop coming over and that we were not there friends anymore. This really f'd up things between Justin and I because I was tired of being accused of cheating and he basically drove away the only friends I had. There went all my happiness. This about the time that Justin and I stopped even having sex and were fighting all the time. To make things worse Justin wanted to move away because he didn't trust that I wasn't going up to see Ryan and Tessa while he was at work. So we moved.

 We moved into this beautiful duplex that had a fenced side yard and a huge front yard and a play group only a block or two from the house. Justin and I did start to get along a little better and even started having sex again. However that didn't last long and we began argueing again.

 One day after I put Tristin down to sleep I sat Justin down and tried talking to him. I don't know what egsactly was said but I do remember in the nicest way possible (which I do respect) Justin said to me " I dont think I am in love with you anymore" which to me at the time was totally a shock  but now that I think of it I should have seen it coming. While I was sobbing Justin said to me " Im really sorry.I love my son and I really don't want you to take him away from me, maybe we should get some counseling and try to work this out". So I said "I don't know, My parents hated each other and fought everyday but they stuck it out for my sister and I. I felt horible for them because I knew they didn't love each other and it was hard on my sister and I to hear them fight all the time.However Im not going to make any decisions now." so I went to bed and Justin slept on the sofa. We went about it this way for a week.

 I told Justin well you don't want me to leave because you love your son so when you come home you can take care of him. So I would take care of the house and our son all day long and still made dinner. He would get home at 8 so we would sit down as a family and eat and I would go to my room and Justin would give Tristin a bath and put him down. Justin would sleep in the living room and I slept in the room, I offered Justin the bed room because he had to work and go to school but he refused and said he liked things the way they were.

 It worked fine this way all week until the weekend came andJustin was off all weekend. Then he was home all day and the very first day he was off we fought. That's when Justin Finally admitted to me that he had been cheeting on me for the last four months. I FREAKED OUT and even punched him in the face. I then called my mom and told her all about what had been going on the last week and what Justin just told me.She came and got me in her car and we packed all my stuff and that day Tristin and I moved out to my mothers.

 I dont even know how to describe the last five months......My mom judges my parenting skills and we fight all the time. I hate living with her. She spoils Trisitin rotten and because Im the only one who tells Tristin no Im the bad guy. Justin who said he loved his son so much has barely ever come to see him. He sees him two weekend a month basically and sometimes not at all because he is soo busy with his new girlfriend. I met someone new but our relationship is so new I would rather not get onto talking about him yet. And this is my story.

 Thanks for taking the time to read it all and sorry for all the Grammar mistakes and misspelled words.

Desaire24