In-laws as in your child's spouse.

[MOmomof8]

I may get in trouble for posting this but the worst that can happen is that I won't be babysitting anymore.   Our daughter is married to the biggest bum I know or have ever known in my life.  I want to just beat him which is, I'm sure, one reason he doesn't come around here.  He got mad at me for telling Skylor, our youngest, how he doesn't help his sister at all.  We took them out to eat for her birthday little over a year ago.  JJ was just a baby & stayed in the car seat.   We went to a Chinese place bc that is her favorite & it was a buffet.  So while she is getting her food, he stayed with the baby.  I don't know why bc she started crying & he did nothing.  He wouldn't pick her up & Nathan got upset so he took her out of her car seat which calmed her down right away.  I couldn't get to her or I would've picked her up.  It was that way all through dinner.  We took turns holding her so everyone had a chance to eat.   Nathan was the only one that said anything to him about it.  I was just to mad to open my mouth bc I have a hard time controlling my volume & I didn't want Vicki to get upset.  That isn't the only time or place that this stuff happens.  We went over to there apartment a few times & every time he was on  the PlayStation.  He didn't help her with supper, he didn't watch JJ, he hardly even said a word to us.  This was before the Chinese place.  So last year when we were talking Skylor to Memphis for basketball every week,, I think this was one time I took him by myself.  He was asking about his sister & if Brad was good to him.  I couldn't lie & once I opened my mouth things just rolled out that I was upset about.  He got on his cell phone & called him.  ;He reamed him about how he was treating her & told him to straighten up or he would have to deal with him.  Skylor may be young but he is 7 foot tall & weighs about 200 pounds.  Brad is maybe 5 foot 10 & maybe around 200 pounds.  Well, when they hung up, I got a call from Vicki asking me why I told Skylor.  I told her she deserved better & something needed to be done about it.  She hung up then called my back to ask me to call her at another number.  So I did & Brad's dad answers.  He starts going off about they things that was said about his good son.  I hung up on bc Brad is old enough to take care of his own problems instead of running to daddy.  So Vicki didn't talk to us until she needed a babysitter again.   They both had good jobs & she had to quit to have another baby.  He was fired for missing to much work.  They only had those jobs for 3 months.  Since then he hasn't been able to find a job.  He babysits for his friend who has 3 boys & does it for free.  Yet he can't watch his own children.  JJ was such a pain to watch bc she is so spoiled & she screamed louder than any kids I've ever known.  I had to tell her that I would watch Chris, the baby, but not JJ.  If you knew me you would know that I never pass up a chance to babysit my grandchildren or any other kids.  I love kids & enjoy having them around.  JJ is the first child in my life that I don't enjoy being around.  Every time I would tell her no, she would scream this nail on the chalkboard kind of scream.  Every time I corrected her, the same thing.  If I just looked at her, she would scream.  My dh & I just couldn't stand it.   I do watch her once in awhile now but only when I know that Vicki is at the end of her robe.  Brad started watching JJ, but if he gets sick or goes for a job, I watch her.  If the only time he goes for a job is when I have JJ, he only goes looking 1 day out of 90 days.  She is outgrowing the screaming or we have finally got her to understand that don't work with us, I'm not sure.  I have been out with Vicki & the kids, & heard her ask Brad if he would take JJ while she goes to the store so she doesn't have the 2 kids & a case of soda & other things. He told her no & then she was almost begging.  He still said no & she was almost in tears when she hung up.  We gave Brad a job cutting our grass & he did really good.  It looked great, better than when anyone else cuts it.  We paid him $30 every week.  But then things happen & Nathan & Brandi wanted to do it as a part of their rent so our yard doesn't look as good now. 

Why am I venting about this now.  JJ's birthday is today & a few months ago Vicki asked me to buy her a comforter & sheet set with Tinkerbell.  I told her we would have to wait & see if we could.  Well, I priced them & together they are over $80.  That may not seem much to you but when you have 13 grandchildren it is.  I can't spent that much on all of them so I won't do it for anyone.  Now I did spend alot on my granddaughter that I went 6 years without seeing.  This was her first birthday that I was a part of, so I went big time.  If I can I'll do it for her again bc there were so many missed years.    I've bought her stuff all along but she's too old for most of it.  So I have yet to buy JJ a gift.  I was going to buy her a Tinkerbell blanket but her mom said she got one yesterday.   I have a few ideas I just have to get to the store to buy them.   I know you may be asking why didn't I buy something yesterday at the mall.  Rose was with us & I didn't want to look at something she may want & not buy it for her.  I may be awful but I can't help it.  And yes, I buy her candy when we go to Walmart with her & we don't look at toys.  She does see some clothes she wants though. 

Another reason why now is that I was talking to Nathan today & found something out that he thought we already knew but didn't.  Vicki told them that Brad's dad gave them one of his paychecks.  He said he didn't need it & they did.  I agree that they need it but they should be getting him up & looking for a job.   They need to teach him how to take care of his kids & his wife.   I am so glad nobody can say that about my sons.  My oldest son does help take care of his kids.  He was laid off & so he started watching his son & his daughter.  Their oldest daughter is 12 so she pretty much takes care of herself.  He gets those hard jobs like at a warehouse.  He always get jobs that uses his strength.  My middle son has no problem watching his own kids.  He is a hard worker but goes for jobs that you can use  your social skills more.  It drives him crazy not to work, in fact, he is a workaholic.  My youngest son watches his baby & he can't stand to be without a job & he does jobs where he can work on motors or drive something.   My sons are all different but they take care of their kids when they are allowed to.  I say that bc I know there are some that will read this & disagree when it comes to my middle son.  Everyone is entitled to their own opinion & I want that to be the end of that.  

When Vicki told us about Brad, she said that he told her he was going to die by the time he was 25.  He has been sickly all of his life, I guess.  But in the time that we've known him, he looks more lazy than sick.  He just can't draw himself away from his playstation.  I think Vicki said it was a ps3 & she bought it for him for Christmas.  Yet, they don't have the money to live on.  They get food stamps, discounted rent, discounted phone, & WIC.  What they can't get, his parents get for them.  I'm sorry but I will give my kids a roof over their head, food to eat & gas money to go find a job but I refuse to support them if they aren't looking for a job.  I don't think that helps anyone.  They have to grow up sometimes & they have to go through the hard knocks.  She borrows money from people but can spend that kind of money on something that is so useless.  They didn't even buy their own cars.  The one she got came from her cousin & was just given to her.  The other one they used the tax refund & his parents to buy it.   Only one car has ac & Brad drives it.  She keeps saying that they are working on the ac in her car & she can't drive the other bc it overheats even though they fixed it.  I think Vicki doesn't tell us things bc she knows what we think of him & she don't want it to get worse.  

They don't have holidays with us.  We don't get invited for birthday cake.  But she always comes around to see us on her birthday.   She tells me what to buy the kids & her but she knows better than to say anything about getting him something. 

Well, that's enough of that.  Thanks for letting me vent.  Life can really get to you sometimes when you have kids & it's worse when they are grown.    My mom always told me when they are little they step on your toes & when their grown they step on your heart.

May I should've let our 4 boys go after Brad to teach him a lesson.    No, I don't what to ever see a son of my behind glass again.