Since having a child, and now pregnant with #2, i find myself thinking back to my childhood. I don't know why.

I was in 2nd grade. I was now a big girl, and i knew my way to school. Mom or dad walked me to school everyday. But i decided i was a big girl and i could walk to school, by myself. So, Mom and Dad discussed it, and said i could walk to school by myself. I knew about stranger danger, and not petting strange animals. So, i got ready for bed, so excited i was going to walk to school by myself. Got up in the morning, and mom had made bacon and eggs for breakfast! So i got ready, , waited until it was time to go to school. When it was time, i kissed mom and dad goodbye for the day after making sure i had everything. I didn't want to mess this up. And off i went. No time to smell the flowers! I was a girl on a mission! I got to the school gate, feeling so proud, and someone shouted hey! I turned, and there was Daddy, about 50 feet away running towards me. I waited, upset, that they couldn't trust me. But Dad just came up, hugged me, and said he was proud. He just wanted to watch me walk to school by myself for the first time. I had a surge of pride, my Daddy witnessed me becoming a big girl.

Christmas. We always bought a live tree. We'd take care of it during the time it was in the living room. We had a family ornament, A picture of mom and dad at their first christmas together. It was the first ornament we hung. Everyone had to be holding it at some spot, and we would hang it. After christmas was over, we would take the tree outside, dad would dig a hole, and we'd plant the tree. My sister and i got to put the dirt back in.

We lived in Ft Bliss, on military housing. We had a mulberry tree that branched out in 2 about a foot off the ground. My sister and i couldn't climb the tree because there were no branches close enough to grab. And we pined for a tree house. Dad couldn't make a tree house, due to the shape, and it was against regulations. But he did build a small platform so we could climb the tree. That was our treehouse. I have fond memories of being in that tree, and laying across a branch and listening to the leaves rustle. It was my sanctaury. A place where i could go to cry, or just think. I remember going there because i just lost my best friend. Her dad got orders, and she moved to germany.

Dogs. Mom picked us up from school and mom told my sister and i we had a surprise. We got to the door, and there was loud barking. I immediately ran in, and there was a great big huge black lab. A dog!! She was excitable so my sister and i got chased all around the house screaming thinking she was going to eat us. She only wanted to lick. That dog was so funny. She tiptoed around my cat. She ended up sliding down the hall one day, and breaking the bottom of the bookcase. She was taught to open the screen door, and go fetch the paper. Well, she fetched everyone's paper. My mom would be out in her pajamas trying to return them before anyone noticed. Mom had the bright idea of teaching the dog to take the dirty clothes to the laundy(a closet with nothing in it, but dirty clothes.) That backfired to. Duchess finally caught on, then got confused, and started taking the clothes OUT of the laundry pile and  placing them around the house. Then one day, she ate the couch. We came home, and the dog was hiding under the coffee table. Which was funny in itself, because she was so big, the coffee table was on her back, not touching the ground anymore. A neighbor's dog had puppies, and i begged for one for my birthday. I even knew which one i wanted. The one that was so silly, she would walk into walls, and seemed to be, um...slow. My parents gave me a puppy collar for my birthday. I was so happy! I ran over to the neighbors and got my puppy. We named her Molasses because she wasn't the brightest. I loved my dogs. We moved AZ. I was learning i was a good baker. I made chocolate meringues. We set them on the counter to cool, and came back later to find Duchess had eaten all but 3.  Mom got rid of a stale loaf of bread, dumped it out beyond our fence with Duchess watching, early in the morning. My dad got off work, and rode his bike up(small base, he biked rather than drove) opened the gate, and Duchess shot out, and ran to the pile of bread to eat it. She waited all day for someone to open the gate so she could get that bread. Duchess was an alcoholic to. She'd take beer cans out the fridge, carry them to the backyard, and bite them until she punctured it, and drink up. Dad made himself a Turkey and coke, was sitting outside, and duchess came up and started drinking it. Dad tried to take it back, but she grabbed the cup, and growled at him. Dad's not stupid, he let her have his drink. The dogs are gone now. Duchess got old, and was losing her sight, hearing and smell. Mom made the decision it was time to let her go. She made an appointment with the vet, and sat my sister and i down to explain why. We went to the grocery store and bought her last meal. A quart of chocolate icecream and a steak. My mom just seared the steak, to barely cook it, bloody and raw inside, just the way a dog likes it. Steak for dinner, and chocolate ice cream for dessert. My sister and i said our goodbyes. While we were at school, mom took duchess to be put to sleep. I came home from school, and wouldn't talk to anyone. Just went to my room and cried. I was in the Army when we lost Molasses. I called home one day on my lunch hour, and Dad told me the news. Molasses had gone to her favorite sunny spot in the backyard, laid down for a nap, and never woke up. It was hard for me to get through the rest of the day. But my dogs are in heaven now. Playing on huge meadows with other dogs, and having all the steak they want.

Life. Childhood was hard for me in some ways. I had a hard time making friends. I wasn't popular, i was considered weird. I remember going to the playground, and being held down by a bunch of 7 year olds, and geting punched, dirt shoved in my face. It was horrible. I was 12 at the time. How embarrassing. I lost a very good friend of mine in a car accident when i was 15. I was depressed for months. He was one of my few friends.

Childhood is comprised of happy and sad memories. I hope my Daughter has more happiness than sadness.

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Nov. 14, 2009 at 7:29 AM

What a fun jounal to read!  Thank you for writing and sharing it !  

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Nov. 14, 2009 at 8:59 AM

thanks! I was wanting to just put all my vivid memories in print.

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Aug. 14, 2011 at 11:40 AM

That was very touching, i really enjoyed it. Very uplifting

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