Experiential....Experiences.

[AvaAdoreSoma]

I wanted to start out with somewhat of a background on myself, well atleast the myself I became after having children. The rest, in time, will follow. So in having said that, here is a bit about my little bits.

Logan is now 5 years old. In 2003, after having been together for 7 years, my husband and I were married. That was in December. In January of 2004 (the night of a davidBowie concert), I foundout that I was pregnant. Still having issues proving that he is somehow Bowie's child, in an immaculate conception type deal, but that is another story completely. Moving forward, I found out at my gynoappointment I found out that the night of my conception was the night of my wedding. Talk about sealing the deal! Now Logan and I spent his first three years with his father being the main source of income whilst I primarily stayed home, working only a wannabe part time job. During this time was right after I decided that I was taking a year (which in the future became several) years off of college. At the time, I was going for a degree in Elementary education..hence Logan became my guinea pig. You know they say idle hands and such? Well my brain was running on auto pilot and I wanted to challenge myself, andfind out just hhow smart I could make this child. Baby einstein videos were amazing! I would use them as teaching tools, not as babysitters andthe results speak for themselves! I also subscribed to every parenting magazine I could get my hands on (My husband calls them Paranoid monthly's). Amongst all of this I had to deal with not only Gestational Diabetes but PIH, or Pregnancy induced hypertension...so no salty and no sweet! Who has the right to tell a 23 year old pregnant woman that she can not have one bit of anything they are craving! Ridiculous really....But anyway, I dealt with it and took everything with the knowledge seeking behavior that I have actually grown to love about myself. SO now, Logan is a little genius! He scored 28 out of 29 on his KRAL, and NEVER ceases to amaze me...When he is not being challenged, he is much like me in that his mind wonders and he starts acting out slightly. Hence Heaadstart, which I only enrolled him in for the social interaction that I felt would bode well in preparations for kindergarden. The only downside? He is also a smart ASS. Seriously...sometimes I raise my hand at an off handed comment he makes and then withdraw it reminding myself...that he is only 5 and that child abuse is STILL illegal. But in all seriousness I love him dearly and his sarcasm will just have to be fine tuned...

Now onto my brute! My Nicholas has just turned a year old already! I had no complications with the pregnancy and actually had him all natural, unlike Logan, where I was medicated and even passed out from loss of blood. No..with Nicholas, I had the amazing nurse tell me something that actually made me stick to my birthing plan, also, unlike Logan. She said to me "Just when it gets really heard and you feel as though you can not push anymore...you can not endure anymore pain...you are on the threshold and will be done in mere moments!" Chanting this mantra i actually made it through! And my reward? Well of course a literal bouncing baby boy. Named after a musician, he laughs at death metal, dances to music and all though he does not know sign language like Logan, or talk quite as much...He has an amazing sense of humor andmotors around much more than Logan ever did. I know they say you should not compare your children...but I feel as though some situations warrant it! I have my early talker and intellectual and my mover/shake/musician/artist! Logan is not one for art, nd although he may like some songs whole heartedly, he just does not get into it as much as Nicholas does. Logan never colors in the lines even at 5, Nicholas grabs a pen, pencil or any other available writing utensil and draws till no tomorrow! And the way the child mimics syllables, lyrics, beats and tunes...and quietly observes everything andeveryone around him before making his next move...climbing and experimenting with every object in his little world is amazing! Now he is a trouble maker to say the least...but in a cute kinda, watch yours and his back way. Logan would allow me to catnap at that age as he never did anything except for try to climb stairs, which a quick placement of a proper baby gate ensured came to a really quick stop. He never pulled my books from shelves, I kept cyramics out and everything! Nicholas, on the other hand, will stick anything, and I mean ANYTHING in his mouth....or any other hole in the wall, shelf, cabinet...light socket! He will be my tinkerer as well I think. From just a few months old he was extremely interested in cause and effect...as well as more than likely being left handed (like my artist of a mother) his fine motor skills have always been amazing. He was ahead of the game with the two finger pincer grip...and he delicately picks up the smallest of food particles...letting not a single crumb go to waste! Unless, of course he gets bored. If that happens, watch out for flying rice crispies and a whole bunch of uh-ohs...

As I will continue on in my next journal...I love my children and all of their differences because it is like I repeatedly tell my oldest, if everyone was alike they would be boring...and I love nothing more than creativity, color and attitude. I HAVE changed with becoming a mother...but there are some things, i fear, will never change...and I can only hope that I keep that part of me hidden well enough not to effect my children. But they are much smarter than a lot of us parents give them credit for...just take for example, a crying baby whose squeals only get louder as mommy or daddy becomes increasingly stressed....it is a viscious cycle...and they sense that! So in having started my little side project I hope to get into that just a bit more...but first I want you and anyone else who happens across my articles to get to know me...for me and who I am now, and who I hope to be for my children and for myself. Then...as we grow closer I will slowly divulge a bit more. Until then....tune next time, same mom time...same mom channel.