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To shut up a breastfeeding woman
- Nov 15, 2009 at 1:47 PM
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- Comments (149) Total Views (4679) Everyone can see this journal post.
Ok, lemme start with a little background on me, so you can get a feel of where I'm coming from...I know breastfeeding. Probably better than most. I have 4 kids--all breastfed. I've been through nearly ALL the breastfeeding problems--good and bad. I've nursed for a short time, I've nursed for a long time. I've weaned early, I've weaned late. I've weaned the kids, and I've let the kids wean themselves. I've breastfed a baby in the NICU, and I've breastfed healthy kids. I've pumped (for a year) and I've breastfed exclusively.
I'm a breastfeeding expert. If you need help, you come to me. If you have a question, I know the answer. If I don't know it, I'll find the answer. I help women breastfeed. In short, I'm a breastfeeding know-it-all.
So last week I had a friend come to me. She's going back to work, and she needs someone to baby-sit her 6 week old breastfed baby. The baby has never had a bottle, and mom hasn't begun to pump yet. There's also no one in town that will take a 6 week-old, and no one in town that can "handle" a breastfed newborn. So I tell her I can watch the baby until she can find a more permanent solution.
After all, I can handle the whole breastfed baby thing.
Except I forget one thing...I can't give the baby MY boo-boo's.
So this was my wake-up call to what it was like to be a non-breastfeeding "mom" (if you will).
So, I help her with starting to pump, teach her how to store bottles, and get her on her way. Mom is off to work 3 days later.
Up until now, baby is growing well, mom is making MORE than enough milk for the baby, and all is well. But, as we all know...pumping is a LOT harder than breastfeeding...and you don't get NEAR what you would get from a pump as the baby gets from the breast.
So, anyway, here's what happened after watching a breastfed baby for a week:
Day 1:
What do you mean the baby has never had a bottle yet? While I would mostly support that, I have to figure out how to feed the baby...AHHH.
OK, creative thinking time:
Syringe-feeding. Lets start there: Hey, this works really good. But why is he spitting up so much? Blah. Hmm. Lets try this...
Spoon-feeding. Again. Works really good. He's spitting this up, too. Ahhh.
Bottle. Eek. He hates this.
Ohhh, Sippy cup. Hmmm, this seems to be working well enough.
OOOOOHHHH, you have to warm the milk. Dar. I forgot about that. 3 hours later. I finally had the kid fed. Sigh.
With my kids, the nipple was the right kind, and the milk was the right temp. Instant gratification.
Day 2:
Oh, you want me to try this new nipple? OK.
He LOVES these. This should be wonderful.
Wow. OK, this is working wonderfully. I don't have to do much today.
He's such a doll. I think I want another baby.
What do you mean you didn't pump AT ALL during work???? You are going to get SICK with clogged ducts and mastitis. You MUST pump. I don't care if you are late coming home, you make sure you get those breaks in during work, or you'll be sick, and you don't need that!!!
With the exception of my child that was in the NICU, I didn't need a pump. Of course, I was at home. That's one thing I can appreciate. Working moms have it MUCH more difficult than SAHM's, IMO. Because it's FAR more difficult to leave your child, especially when you are breastfeeding. My kudos to ALL working mommas out there!
Day 3:
Only two breastmilk bottles? That's OK, I guess. He's going through a growth-spurt. He probably wants to eat every hour or so!! What should I feed him if he's hungry? Formula? He's never had it before...eek...sigh.
Hmm...how do you make this stuff? (reading label). HOW MUCH POWDER?
Oh, holy hell. That's like half a bottle of this crap. ewwww.
This stuff stinks. And the poor baby is crying while I'm making a bottle. Awww. I feel so bad for him...
(cough. spit. stink.)
O. M. G.
I forgot how AWFUL this stuff stinks coming up. and coming OUT. BLAH.
And now he's crying. Gas. And pain. Awww. poor baby. This is awful. 3 hours of crying. THis can't be good. awww. Next bottle will be breastmilk, though. I knew enough to introduce the formula in between, because I know that formula is more difficult to digest.
With breastfed babies, there's generally less spit-up, and even when there isn't, it doesn't smell near as bad. Plus, it doesn't stain. Not to mention poop. Breastfed poop smells much sweeter than formula poop. And it doesn't generally stain, either. Of course, breastmilk is digested easier, as well.
Day 4:
He's feeling better? That's good. I'm glad you nursed him all night. I'm sure he feels better now. Awww. He's such a sweetie.
More breastmilk bottles. Yippee! Are you feeling better now? No more engorgement? That's good. I'm glad you are pumping at work now.
OH, NO! Why won't this kid take a bottle now? Why? It's breastmilk! What's going on?
OH, yeah! you have to heat the bottles. Sigh. Meanwhile, the poor baby is screaming. That's another 10 min of waiting while I try to heat up this bottle. awwwww.
Again, breastmilk straight from the tap is always the right temperature, so it's the instant gratification.
Day 5:
I can't get ANYTHING done. I'm trying to hold this baby, and this bottle. I have NO hands free. WHY is it so difficult?
With my kids, I had 4 in tow, and could multi-task like crazy. Now, I can't do a darn thing. What is WRONG with me???
OOHHH, THAT's the problem! It's the bottle. Seriously. That is the ONE factor making the difference.
With my kids, I had a sling, so it gave me 2 free hands. I was able to nurse the baby in an upright position, and could use both my hands to move around freely. I used the sling with this baby, but It didn't help much. I had to lay the baby down in the sling, so it blocked my left hand. I had to hold the bottle for the baby, which used my right hand. So, no free hands. Sigh.
Here's another thing about going out to eat with a baby:
When I had my kids, I would plop them on my nap and nurse them while I ate. I had two free hands, and we were both comfortable. No one was the wiser that I was feeding my baby, and I wasn't embarrassed or ashamed.
With this baby, I have to admit, (even though it's CLEAR that this baby isn't mine) It was quite shameful to bottle-feed in public (possibly because I'm the breastfeeding *guru* in my town, if you will). I had the baby on my lap, and held him with one hand. Then I held the bottle with the other. I couldn't eat my food at all. It was uncomfortable and annoying. I finally put him in his carrier, and tried to feed him with one hand. That didn't work--although it did make me realize why it seemed that most bottle feeding women never held their babies when they fed them.
It's because they'd never get anything done otherwise.
SO, after all this, what have I learned?
That bottle-feeding mom's have it MUCH more difficult.
Breastfeeding is SO much easier.
The poop. The spit-up. The digestion. The waiting to warm up bottles or make a bottle while your child cries. The added stress. The day-to-day. The not-being-able-to-get-anything-done.
I don't know why you do it. I don't know how you do it. Seriously. I couldn't. I didn't breastfeed because of all that. I breastfed because I wanted my kids to be healthy. I breastfed because I'm cheap, and can't afford the formula. Now I know the truth. Let's face it...I breastfed because I'm lazy, too.
Edited to add this, after 7 pages of comments:
Hey there! OP jumping in here. I love all the responses. Of course, most of you get that I was baby-sitting an exclusively breastfed child that was never introduced to a bottle, OR formula before. And most of you get that *I* have virtually NO experience with formula, so it was a whole new experience for ME, too.
I have to be honest. (and I may repost this with an edit on the OP). Breastfeeding is, by far, the HARDEST thing I've ever done. It is, also, the EASIEST thing I've ever done. Once I figured it out, and I figured out the "dance", it was simple. It was learning the steps that was complicated.
Just needed to point something out. MOST of the bottles I was warming were pumped breastmilk. The mom is still pumping, but not all the bottles that the baby gets are EBM. Some are supplemental formula, which is why I say "bottle feed" rather than "formula feed" most of the time.
Comments:
I don't know how they deal with the whole mixing and waiting with a screaming baby. You can buy premixed, but I hear it's very expensive.
When I had my second child, the nurse came in to get the baby so I could eat. but I was doing fine, nursing her in one hand, eating with the other. She said, "Oh, I see you've done this before. See ya!"
Great post.
#1 She really is babysitting a kid, and nothing she said is untrue.
bottle feeding is difficult, listening to a hungry kid scream while you make a bottle is heartbreaking. formula STINKS. Am I missing something that isnt true?
It's obvious to anyone that has any sense about them that breastfeeding is the best and easiest choice. Glad to hear a real story proving this.
Stuff it, Shell.
Shell, I love how people come to other people's journals and call them a liar. You're awesome, not. She is watching another person's baby. Way to be a fabulous person. NEXT, I formula fed my first baby and what she says is 2,000% true. I'm completely nursing my youngest and it is a completely different story from the bottle feeding. It looks like YOU are trolling for a way to start drama, not this mom. I mean, she just said that she's lazy, how is she trying to start drama? She gave working moms props, said that formula feeding is harder than breastfeeding, I don't see any drama. Well, I do but I didn't till you popped up.
Great post, hun.
Shell, this is TRUE, you moron.
Well, as a mom who has breastfed and formula fed, I'd say both ways have their convenient and inconvenient things about them. I could never get the nursing the baby and doing other things down. I guess I'm not much of a multi-tasker. Breastfeeding or bottle feeding, I would feed them first and then eat.
The boob is much more portable, definitely no worries about clean bottles and all that. It's always pre-mixed and warm...LOL
With formula, I used room temperature water, no waiting for bottle warm ups. But oh boy does formula stink and stain! Plus toting around bottles, water and formula takes up half the diaper bag.
I pumped and used formula with my first my second is strickly breastfed and there is a huge diffrence! It is sooo muche easier to breastfed. At first it is harder, getting use to the whole latching on, holding baby, etc. but after you get past that it is just so much easier! Espiecally when we're out. I never have to worry about having a bottle or formula or "how long am I going out this time, how many bottles is that, how much powder?" Breastfeeding is definantly easier!
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