My husband is a moron, there's no other explaination... ugh! (Several hours of nagging and a few "serious" threats later, I have an update)

[Chibi_Kitten]

 We're a soccer family, everyone plays soccer - except me and the baby, lol. Jonathan has soccer games on Saturdays (though next Saturday is the last game of the season for AYSO) and Lonn has soccer games on Sundays, he plays with a league that plays all year round, every Sunday. My husband is accident prone, seriously, it's ridiculous. I thought I was bad, having been to the hospital once every year from the age of 5yo to the age of 23yo, but no, he's worse.

I've heard stories from him, his teammates, his parents, his friends, everyone about how he got stitches for this, broke that, busted this, displaced that or some such injury over the 35+ years he's been playing soccer. Now I know a lot of us soccer fanatics are thinking that's no big deal, soccer is a full contact sport so there's no way you're not going to get dirty or possibly hurt when you play.

My husband is... special, yeah, he's a special brand of moron. Here's a couple of good examples. Example One: in his 20's he took a cleat to the face when he dived for the ball, sustaining several deep gashes. He stayed in the game, refusing to come out despite the blood pouring down his face. At the end of the game, he passed out from the blood loss. Three of those gashes were closed with 4+ stitches each. Moron. Example Two: On his way to a game, he crashed on his bike and hurt his neck. He DID go to the hospital but wouldn't stay past the x-rays because he had a game, why they released him I'll never know, but they released him with the caution not to head butt the ball until after the results of the x-rays came back. What does he do? Head butts the ball. Why? Because if he didn't, the other team would've scored a goal and won the game. Thanks to his head butt save, his team won. The doctor SHOWED UP AT THE FIELD right before he head butted the ball and was yelling YELLING at him not to. Why? Because his neck was fractured, the head butt broke it. Did he come off after that? Ha, did he have a choice? No, he collasped and was taken to the hospital via ambulance.

So, that's the kind of "dedicated" soccer player my moronic husband is. I love him to pieces, I support his team and I love to watch him play. I don't mind that he gets hurt, I expect it, but I hate that he doesn't go to the hospital for treatment when he so obviously should.

Three weeks ago, he went for the ball and grabbed it wrong. The result, he broke his finger. Did he go to the hospital? No, he just splinted it and taped them together himself. Last week, he went for the ball at the same time someone went to kick it. The result, he rebroke his finger and also broke his thumb. Did he go to the hospital? Of course not.

This brings us to today! Oh joy!

Today's game was way too early for me, there was no way the kids and I would be ready to go in time, especially with me being not so well yesterday. So, the kids and I stayed home while he went. I get a text from my wonderful husband saying "broke some ribs, I'm pretty fucked up right now" and of course I call him for the whole story, broken ribs do seem pretty serious to me.

What happened? He dove for the ball and collided with another guy, broke his ribs while the other guy sustained various scrapes and bruises and a concussion. The other guy went to the hospital, my husband sat on the sidelines to support his team for the rest of the game then came home.

I took a look at him when he got home, his ribs and upper chest and half of his shoulder look like someone went hickey-crazy on him. The whole area is swollen with a lot of bruising and blood under the skin, it's very tender too (I accidently touched him) and he's walking very slowly to avoid "jouseling" his side. I've told him several times that I want him to go to the hospital, he says that there's nothing they can do except prescribe him some pain meds. I still think he should go, if only for my peace of mind.

Ugh... so I'm just venting because I'm worried about him but he's being stubborn.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~November 16, 2009 update~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm not one to do this, as my friends know, but I nagged and nagged and nagged him yesterday for quite a few hours. Then I threatened him, things like I'm just going to shoot him and stuff, which he laughed off. Then I got REALLY upset and quiet, which made him uncomfortable. After about 45minutes of silence from me, I finally sat next to him and said "If you don't go to the hospital just for MY peace of mind, then you're going to have to make a choice. Either never play soccer again or the kids and I will never come to another game and I won't even talk to you about soccer anymore." He said he'll go in ten minutes, when the Charger game was over. Ugh, but at least he finally consented to go.

So, we drop the kids off at Grandma's (because we're not stupid, we know how emergency rooms are) and go, we were there a total of six hours - not too bad for a Sunday night. They did x-rays and then, after a tantrum from me because they were ignoring me and my concerns, finally got him back for a ct scan as well. Two hours after that, the results of the x-rays and the ct scan were in.

He broke the fifth and sixth ribs, has a chest contusion and a mild concussion. He'll be in A LOT of pain for several weeks but he'll be okay, he can't sleep in bed because of his ribs so he'll be spending the night on the couch in a semi-upright position till they're a bit better. No soccer (or strenuous physical activity) for at least three weeks, possibly four. He's off work for three days, no driving, no lifting (not that he's obeying that when it comes to his babygirl, which I've already yelled at him for twice) and, much to my embarrassment, no sex for at least a week or two.

That was actually the only funny part of the whole night, when the doctor was giving him a list of restrictions. He came to the no strenuous activity and Lonn looked at me and winked while saying "Sorry, sweetheart, no sex for awhile" which made the doctor look at me funny. He was like "You're his wife, wow, you're a young one. Yeah, no sex for a week, preferrably two, sorry." And the three of us started laughing.

So anyway, we got home at midnight, I left our son at Grandma's so she could get him to school for me while we caught a little sleep. We're home, he's in a lot of pain but he's "okay."

And yes, lol, Jenn (Imalilmilkdud), I'm trying not to kill him!

[BettyBoots]

Nov. 15, 2009 at 6:47 PM

Ahhh the brains men have! Hang in there, he'll eventually get to old to do all of this crazy stuff!

Men are a strange breed. Hope he feels better

[Imalilmilkdud]

Nov. 15, 2009 at 6:57 PM

Wow...You had my giggling AND shaking my head. He really should go to the hospital though, broken ribs are VERY serious. My advice to you? If he still refuses tomorrow, call and ambulance on his butt. At least you'll know he hasn't punctured a lung.

Good luck! And try not to kill him. :)

[sweetheart1985]

Nov. 15, 2009 at 8:43 PM

MEN.

I have one just like that....

*shakes head*

[Rachael]

Nov. 15, 2009 at 9:07 PM

he needs to go... that CAN get infected.  What a brat, lol.

[much2learn]

Nov. 18, 2009 at 6:58 AM

I'm glad that he got looked at.  Also good that he'll be fine.   I hope he follows doctor's orders and takes it easy until he is better.   Be sure to praise him for getting himself checked out and puting your mind at ease.