Singer copes with his daughter's death

[chrissymarie]

Singer Copes With His Daughter's Death

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Christian music singer Steven Curtis Chapman is still coping with the death of his adopted daughter, 5-year-old Maria, who was accidentally struck in the family's driveway by one of her brothers who was returning home in his truck in May 2008.

Chapman, who has been singing Christian music for more than 20 years, told CNN that he felt like he was in a black hole and faced with a God he had not known before. Everything he thought about God was different, he said, and he began to wrestle with his beliefs.

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An investigation called the tragedy an accident and no charges were filed. Maria was rushed to the hospital in Nashville, but died of her injuries there. The accident occurred on May 21, 2008 at Chapman's home in Franklin, Tennessee. Maria had been playing behind the family's home when she ran towards her brother's truck and was struck.

Chapman's wife, Mary Beth, told him they had to accept her destiny. "It was after a few minutes that my wife, with her hand on my shoulder, said, 'I really think we are supposed to let her go for now,'" Chapman said to CNN.

In the days after Maria's death, the whole family -- Chapman, his wife, their two sons, their daughter and two other adopted daughters -- grieved together. Chapman couldn't imagine his life without his daughter.

He recalls the instant connection he had when he met her in her native China while she was an infant. He and his wife had already adopted two children from there, and weren't looking for another. But Maria "touched a special place in my heart," and he called his wife just to tell her about the baby girl. "I can't put it into words, but I've picked up a lot of little orphan boys and girls over the years," he said. "I've never had anything happen to my heart like what happened when I held this little girl in my arms for a few minutes."

Although Chapman doubted he would want to write and sing again, he slowly put his fears and hopes into music. Even though he didn't plan on doing an album, songwriting was helping him heal. "Songs are really cathartic for me," he said, "because they force me to put my feelings and thoughts into a capsule and say, 'There it is.' "

The raw, emotional journey he recorded will now be his 19th album, entitled 'Beauty Will Rise.' The album is his personal testament to Maria's life and the overwhelming belief that they will be together again one day, he said.

With his raw emotions splattered across the album, Chapman said, "It just felt like that's honest. This is life going on. It's the day-to-day pain, just walking the journey."

When asked by CNN what song he thought would be Maria's favorite, Chapman paused for a while. Then he thought of the title track, "Beauty Will Rise." "She likes loud, she liked it fast," he said, the smile returning to his voice. "She likes the one with all the energy and the one she could bounce in the car to."

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