Frustrated Rant *Language*

[CheyennesMamma]

Ok so i guess this is the only place i can put this rant because i have no friends who will listen without getting all upset and well my parents are no help so here we go....... My Hubby who i love dearly just doesn't seem to get that i can't hold this family together on my own and yet that is what i am doing we are so broke it isn't even funny I don't know how much longer we can keep this up because he won't stop and talk to me or stop baby his 17 almost 18 year old daughter.  Anything she asks for she gets or at least that is the way it seems most days and yet that means that me and his 2 year old daughter have to go without things. To make this even beter he works nights which wouldn't be so bad since my daughter does sleep through the night but we have no money for gas in my car it all goes to the 17 year old for school and him for work.  So i am having to keep an active 2 year old at home and as quiet as possible durring the day.  Anyone who has ever kept a young child inside day after day after day understands how hard that is to do.  but to make maters worse i can't really even take her anywhere in the stroller by walking cuz none of the local parks have toys or play areas for young children they are all gaged toward 5 and up  the library only works so well cuz she isn't quiet and she won't stay still and well that is all there is in my podunk hole in the wall small ass fucking town.  Then when i complain that we are bored my hubby says well go do something and i have to remind him that there is nothing to do and no funds to do it.  On top of all this my 2 year old is potty training and into everything so being the primary since i am a SAHM and with her dad only being around a few hours aday it is all up to me to deal with her tantrums and everything.  My Hubby is so stressed out about the money situation that he forgets that I am stressed out too about that and the fact that no one i mean no one helps me with her.  On his days off he wants to sit around and watch tv at the house so wow lets see that is more time in the house for the kid my step daughter well that is just a laugh she supposedly lives with us but is never here i think she sees her little sister maybe if we are lucky 2 hours ever 3 weeks and that isn't 2 hours straight that is over the whole time.  it has been almost a whole year since my hubby and i have been out by ourselves with out the 2 year old I have no family here all that we have is my hubbys family which ok yeah i like them but still i hate to constantly rely on them and the fact that my hubby thinks that i should be the one to ask them instead of him.  I don't even remember the last time I had a day to myself where i could relax in the tub with a good book and music blaring because the last time i had a day to myself my hubby was sleeping and then 2 hrs after he left for work i had to go pick up the little one from her sister.  and that 2 hours was spent passing out candy cuz guess what it was Halloween.  My hubby never takes the little one anywhere just the two of them unless i literally tell him to he doesn't offer it and every time he is asked on his days off what he wants to do i get that look that says i want to sit on my ass and do nothing because i worked all week unlike you who have spent all this time at home watching tv and playing on the computer which although that is true i watched disney movies all day everyday and get maybe 2 hours of uninterupted computer time a day and that is while she is sleeping be it naptime or night time.  So tell me Do I WORK????? I TAKE CARE OF THE FUCKING HOUSE DAY IN AND DAY OUT I TAKE CARE OF OUR DAUGHTER EVERYDAY I DO THE DAMNED LAUNDRY AND THE ONLY PART OF THE HOUSE I ASK HIM TO CLEAN IS THE DISHES BECAUSE I ABSOLUTELY HATE DOING THEM BUT I GET COMPLAINED TO EVERY TIME HE HAS TO DO THEM THAT HE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND HOW WE GO THROUGH SO MANY DISHES IN 3 DAYS.   oh yeah and I am getting sick on top of all this and you know what he has the damn nerve to fucking tell me today that because little one is starting to get a minor head cold that he should just go to work on his days off cuz he doesn't want to deal with us both sick!!!!!!!!! I don't know what to fucking do anymore my little bit of Optamisim that i found out that i had is tapped dry and i don't know how i am supposed to hold us all together with out it because my hubby has none and shit is so bad that he is losing his temper faster then me and i am sick and on top of that his way of cheering himself up is to poke fun at me and under better circumstances i can handle that but we have no money to give our 2 year old a christmas from us so all she is going to get is what her mima and papa get her and any other family members which sucks ass and yet everytime i try to save a little money to put toward christmas something else comes up like the bank about to reposes his fucking pickup cuz we are behind on payment oh yeah and the courts want money because he bounced a check and we didn't remember to pay it off before it got turned into the courts.  So my life has gone from stressed to Out of Control and i don't know waht to do. if any of you wonderful ladies sat here and read this thank you i am sorry for the language but sometimes you just need to blow off some steam and this is the only place i could come up with to do that.

[sati769leigh]

Nov. 16, 2009 at 10:26 PM

HONEY i am so sorry you are going through all this. but people will only treat you how you allow yourself to be treated. you need to sit that man down and tell him how you are feeling, tell him he NEEDS to help give you a break sometimes. you are working 24/7 when is YOUR day off!! sheesh on him that he cannot see you have needs too. i am so very veyr sorry.