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Handling Stress
- Nov 16, 2009 at 11:20 PM
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- Comments (7) Total Views (193) Everyone can see this journal post.
I am now a stay-at-home mom, but I used to work. I've been home for a cpl months now. My kids used to be SOO well-behaved, but now they are IMPOSSIBLE to keep up with. Bottom line, I feel like I am failing as a mother. I can't control them at all, my 3 yr old doesn't listen at ALL, and he always used to very well. My 18 mo old is going thru a stage where he's just basically distructive, whenever I'm in one room cleaning up a mess he made, he's in the other room making another one. I mean, syrup all over the carpet, couches, etc... green marker all over the walls, bed, door, himSELF... I put up a baby gate, he tears it down. I drill holes in the doorway to ensure the baby gate can't go down, he still finds a way... I lock doors, he figures out how to open them! And worst of all, they are CONSTANTLY FIGHTING! All I hear all day is crying and screaming! I LOVE staying home with my boys, more than anything in the world. Everything was GREAT forever, but now, Idk, if they're going thru a phase, or if I'm doing something wrong? What can I do to alleviate stress in the middle of a VERY STRESSFUL day, to recoup and handle my children with sanity?
Comments:
My daughter was a naughty one like that, I can't tell you how many different difficult to clean food items have ended up on various pieces of furniture. Our house is only 4 years old and she has the carpet trashed, I had to put down area rugs cause the floor was in a constant state of sticky. She is still a trouble maker even at 4 but she is also special needs and developmentally behind, but for the most part it was a phase and it will blow over. I have always been a stay at home mom but I have felt similar stress. I was having a lot of depression problems and couldn't keep up with her. My son is 8, the four year age difference made things a little easier, he was a good helper but he would also purposely antagonize her and get her all riled up.
It was hard cause I wanted alone time but they seemed to behave better when I spent more time with them and then I had to really lay down the law about stuff too. If someone was naughty they got punished, fitting to whatever was done. He may not be ready for this yet but when I was little and I made a naughty mess mom would make me work at cleaning it up. Of course I couldn't do the whole job but having to spend a few minute scrubing up something that doesn't wanna clean up well is no fun and will make ya think twice about pouring chocolate syrup on a chair like my daughter did. Thanks to Kaylana I found out that mustard stains woodwork lol. It will get better, its just an adustment for everyone.
I'm sorry. I hope you can find some ways to make changes. Maybe get out of the house...go to a Park or Playground and let them get rid of some energy? Good Luck!
You have a very smart child on your hands. Take that energy that he has and channel it towards something you want him to do instead of trying to keep him from destroying the house. I found, when my kids were little that bored kids = trouble. If I took a bit of time on the front end to think up activities for them it made the days run so much more smoothly. I know it can be frustrating. Hang in there.
be consistant in your discipline. when the 3 year old doesnt wanna listen, its time out time.
for the 18 month old-- help him clean up. he's still little/young, but he will learn "i make mess, i clean mess"
i agree with taking them out somewhere- get that energy out. do things that stimulate their minds-- teach them colors, alphabetes, play with them-- oh- especially show them how to share (i'm thinking that if they are fighting, its mainly because of something they both want.. aka refusing to share).
good luck momma
I completely understand what you're going through. From the minute my 19mo old twins wake up its complete chaos. Everything they touch turns to disaster, and at least once a day somebody is covered in bite marks.
It took me about 2 months to teach them, but now they can clean their own room and help clean the family room. And for the biting/hitting/tackling/hair pulling, once I explained to them that what they are doing is hurting their brother(it took a few times of explaining it) and made them kiss each others booboos, they toned it down a little bit.
I hope this helps. There's still a lot of yelling in this house, but it has been getting a little easier every day(okay, so some days I just pretend I dont see them misbehaving).
OMG....I completely know what you are going through! I have been home for about 2 years now and for the past 6 months I have been losing it. My advice to you is find some activities to do with them and remember to find some time for you. You need at least two hours alone, so that you can recuperate. lol
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I can totally understand. I have 4 Mine are all in school now so we have an easier routine. But when they were little I had to balance them and working at home. Soo what I did was schedule. Create a schedule for them. Sounds like they need more Mom activity. Like play outside, work on ABC's or play school..do projects together...space it out throughout the day. They get your undeivided attention for a while and then you can go work on your stuff. Focus on one room a day. By the weekend everything should be somewhat clean
- Momforhealth
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