Gabriel

[mom2hailie]

Gabriel, it has been almost 3 weeks since you went home to God. I still do not understand why you left me without a good bye, a hug, something. But I know in my heart you said good bye in your own little way. I do miss feeling you tickle my tummy and hearing your heart. Oh how I wish you were still here so you would know how loved you are. I love and miss you so much Gabriel.

[4girlz]

Nov. 17, 2009 at 1:33 PM

I hope you don`t mind after reading this I went to you profile and read you other journals and i cried. My son passed away 12 years ago when I was 20 weeks. While I was in the waiting room waiting for my ultra sound. I was so excited when my ultra sound was being performed I saw his tiny lil feet and hands and the ultra sound tech turned off the machine and said I have something to tell you. You`re baby doesn`t have a heart beat. I was like what are you talking about he was just moving while I was in the waiting room.  She turned back on the machine and showed me there was no heart beat. The tech called my doctor and told them what was going on. I set up a appointment to vaginally deliver him the next day. I laid in bed that night and didn`t sleep I stayed up and cried all night. I went to the hospital and delivered him. The people were so nice there. My best friend was there when I delivered the baby. She was also pregnant and the doctor didn`t think it was a good idea to have her there but she was all I had and I needed some kind of support. My mom had to stay home and take care of my daughter and my dad had to work. The doctor warned me that the baby didn`t look normal because I wasn`t far enough along and because he had a birth defect he wouldn`r look like a normal baby. I didn`t care I wanted to see him and hold him and I did. I didn`t want to let him go I didn`t care what he looked like he was mine. Even after 12 years I still remember it like it happened today. I still think about him everyday. I now have 4 girls and Sept 19 2008 I finally had a boy. I never thought I would have another boy since I had 4 girls. Just wanted to share my story with you and let you know that you are not alone. God bless you and your family.

[Lb128f]

Nov. 17, 2009 at 1:51 PM

I'm sorry.

[Ladyhawk04]

Nov. 17, 2009 at 5:52 PM

I'm so sorry for the loss of your baby.  No one who hasn't gone through the same experience can really say the right words to make you feel better, but I hope that knowing that there are those who care, will lessen your pain just a little more.  Sometimes people say the wrong things and it doesn't really help, or can make you angry.  Please try to remember that they don't know what to say, so they just say what they think will help.  I will keep you in my prayers, "mom2hailey" and may you feel the loving comfort of God's arms around you, holding you tightly.  You are not alone.  God Bless You Greatly. xo

[candyland204]

Nov. 17, 2009 at 6:52 PM

I am sorry for the pain your having to deal with! {{Hugs}}

[Chickadee]

Nov. 17, 2009 at 7:37 PM

I'm terribly sorry for your loss.

[littleredpony]

Nov. 17, 2009 at 10:15 PM

i lost my own gabriel 10 years ago this christmas. he was born only 4 weeks early but he had a major heart defect. 6 years later we lost his sister at 20 wks from the same defect. it's not something you can ever fully  heal from. all i can say is hang in there. it gets less sharp over time and you learn a new normal. i wish you the best.

[PoeDunkMae]

Nov. 17, 2009 at 10:26 PM

*hugs* Wishing you the best, and that time will heal your heart.  It is never easy to lose a child.  My family as a whole  has had it's share of loss, and sickness in it's children, and it's never easy.  Hang in there and be strong.  *hugs*

[shannipoo714]

Nov. 18, 2009 at 9:03 AM

I'm so sorry for your loss.  Words seem inadequate. Hugs mama

[mom2hailie]

Nov. 19, 2009 at 3:01 AM

Thank you so much ladies for all the wonderful and heartfelt thoughts,prayers. To those who have lost a baby I am deeply sending my condolences. Like what Ladyhawlk said, it is hard to talk to someone who lost a little one. You just can never find the right words. I think the most difficult part of this whole thing is the fact my daughter still thinks the baby is in my tummy. She understands Gabriel is in Heaven but you know. Again thanks for all the kind words, kind of lifts my spirits because today is my birthday and with it falling on a Thursday this year, it just makes Thursday's a little tought right now.

(Original Poster)