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The Day My Life Fell Apart
- Nov 18, 2009 at 2:00 AM
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- Comments (7) Total Views (207) Everyone can see this journal post.
On November 6, 2009 I was texting my husband, who was at work, about what movie we were going to watch when he got off. During our conversation, I recieved a phone call from our children's school. It was a detective who said she wanted to come out to the house to discuss a situation that had just been brought to her attention. Now I told her sure, I'd be here and hung up. My first thing was to text my hubby that the cops were on the way to the house. He wanted details that I didn't have and I tried to get him to come home. He told me he couldn't leave right then, but to let him know as soon as I could what was going on and which kid it involved. We had three kids at that school, my step son 16, my step daughter 14 and my daughter 14. Right now we were guessing a fight or the car my ss drove being vandalized. I was waiting for the detective when she pulled into the drive. I told her she had worried me and asked what was wrong. She informed me that my dear husband was having sex with my 14 year old daughter and had been for about a year and a half. I was dumbfounded. My first thought was why would she lie on her dad like that? She loved this man and in all ways thought of him as her Dad since her biological father has only minimal contact with her. I've been with this man for 7 years and thought he was wonderful. Then I start thinking about opportunity. There has been opportunity for it to happen. Then the Detective wants to check her room. A forensic team shows up and they find semen on her mattress and a towel she claimed he cleaned himself up on. Now I'm pissed. I still hope it's not true, but I'm afraid it is. Either way my life has changed. They ask me to get my husband home so I tell him he needs to come home it's an emergency. He gets there as I am leaving to go pick up my daughter and take her to the hospital for a rape kit. The detectives meet him at the truck and that's the last I see. When I get to my daughter I run and hug her and tell her I wish she would have told me. She just cries. I hold her hand all the way to the hospital. While on the way, my husband starts texting me. He says, "I bet you think different of me now." Then he starts asking if I think he did it. I tell him I'm not sure what to think, did he? He says no, so I say prove it. Take the lie detector test and give them dna to try to match to the semen. He says no. I leave it there. After an hour or so at the hospital the detective calls to tell me he confessed to everything and that he is headed to jail. If my world was not already crumbling it fell apart right then. No doubt that he had did it. I was almost sure before, but had held out hope. But no, now I had to face it. My wonderful husband had raped my baby since she was 13. Hundreds of times. He confessed to it all in a signed confession. Oh God.
Now, a little over a week later, I am taking my DD to therapy. She is happy it's finally over. She has panic attacks at school when kids mention it. We live in a small town and the story made the paper. It didn't use her name, just her address and a photo of my hubby. I thank God I never let her see my doubt. If I have only done one thing right by her it was support her and never let her know that I had any doubts. I hold her daily. I cry with her. I have apologized a million times for not seeing it. She's a trooper, but my family has fallen apart. I have my husbands two children still living with me since their mom lost them for drug abuse. I have my three kids also and I am disabled. My husband's Mother bailed him out of jail and admitted him to a mental health facility. He is saying he is going to kill himself and will not go to prison. His mother has accused me of setting him up and coaching my daughter on how to seduce him. She's sicker than he is. I can't believe this man is out of jail. I called legal aid to divorce him and they can't help me. Seems you can't divorce a man in SC for being a pedophile. I'll have to wait a year or name my little girl as the other woman and get him for adultry. He's already saying all he did was cheat on me. He doesn't see the crime in raping my baby. Sick Bastard!!! He called me and told me he still loved me. My response was, "How dare you even imply you loved me? If I ever see you I will cut your dick off and shove it in your own mouth!!!" He decided after that to sign custody of his two children over to their mother's boyfriend since "I hate him." They are devastated as well. Besides leaving me in debt with a 600 dollar past due light bill, a two hundred dollar past due phone bill and three months late on my van payment, the paid off vehicles are in his name and I can't afford a lawyer. I am disabled and only draw $604.00 a month. Please pray for me and my family. I'm drowning here. I don't know what to do.
Comments:
I am so sory you had to go through all of this. My thoughts and prayers are with your and your daughter. You did well for your daughter in believing in her.
i also am really sorry to hear this and i hope you make it. just be strong, and my prayers are also with you. i hate men like that. he was sane when he done it to her right? and now is mental. i hate that also. i really feel for you and your poor dd. best of luck to you both i hope he rotts in hell
A firend of mine went through a similar situation a few years ago. I was with her every step of the way it was a trying time for everyone involved. I can tell you that it will get easier but it does take time. Hang in there and be strong for the kids.
oh my goodness mama! im SO SORRY this has happened to your family. what a sick bastard (his mom is sick too)
i really have no words of advice, other than to tell you to stay strong. keep hope. im praying for you and your daughter and your whole family **hugs**
I am sorry for your family. Please call the victims advocate in your state to try and get some help with you bills. you will be in my prayers.
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