you can't even hear me screaming

[ColtsFan1912]

Sometimes, I wonder if I've made a mistake. Here we are still newlyweds, not even a year of marriage, & I doubt us. Lately all he does is sit in front of the computer, all day long. I know sometimes he actually is doing homework (he is taking two classes right now) but I always know he likes to look up computer stuff all day long on ebay etc (stuff we can't afford). He is not working right now, though he is looking. He picks up a few hours from a guy who is starting his own business but it's not consistant at all.

I am so tired of being alone. Iam so tired of sitting near him & getting nothing. Of trying to talk to him & getting no reply. Once he is on the computer, that is it.  A bomb could go off & he wouldn't notice it.  He ignores me, He ignores Caleb . & its killing me.  I don't know what else to do. I've tried to talk to him but he doesn't get it. He always has excuses. "im doing homeworking. ..im trying to start up my website (yeah that's happening), i'm doing research. Bull crap.  I've seen him on forums, on facebook on ebay. Its driving me insane. I'm pregnant, raising Caleb bascially on my own. I mean he watches Caleb in the morning with my Morning Sickness is bad. .but his idea of watching Caleb is letting him run loose while he starees at his dang computer screen. He doesnt play with Caleb. Ever.

I feel selfish for being pregnant again with this baby , who i know he'll ignore too. I am tired of being invisible. Of Caleb being ignored. I am so tired.

I use to think i was smarter then this, stronger than this. But i am beginning to realize how wrong I was about myself. I am weak. I am selfish. I am. . ..

alone

"I can hear you in a whisper

but you can't even hear me screaming" Evanescence

[mistynights234]

Nov. 18, 2009 at 9:57 PM

OH momma...........I can say so many of us have been in your shoes.  Alot of times men go "inside themselves" when they are depressed.  This may how he is dealing with the fact that he isnt working and his wife is preg.  He may be feeling overwhelmed.  Men dont do well with stress.  I bet when you try to even talk with him or bring things up he instantly gets defensive.  You may need to tell him "I need you to listen to me and not say a word until Im done".  Dont get condemn him.  This will get you no where.  REally think about how to approach it.  Let him know your worried.  The stress just isnt effecting him.  Its effecting his family.  You really want to know how to help him or what is going on because your lonely, your scared and you need to support each other in times like this.........good luck momma

[Shannon3390]

Nov. 18, 2009 at 10:47 PM

I am almost exactly in your place. My husband is gone to work from 6:30 am until 7pm, then he gets on the comp for at least an hour on days that he doesn't have school, on days that he does he is on until I go to bed about 9 or 10. (He does online school). He also seems to ignore the world when he is on the computer, watching T.V., even wondering around the house. I have a almost two year old girl and am seven months pregnant. So much of what you are saying sounds like I would say it myself.