This pregnancy has been full of things I never experienced with my 3 1/2 year old.

[COMama303]

The end is  near. I'm 35 weeks and 2 days pregnant. My midwife  expects me to make it to just 37  weeks. I just hope Aluric will be healthy. After going through preterm labor at 31 weeks with Blake, that was my biggest concern this entire pregnancy.Guess what? No preterm labor. =) However, I did get the flu at the very end of September, 2 days before we were moving! I was miserable. Aluric was sitting on my sciatic nerve and I was  exhausted,vomiting, fever and chills, the works. I couldn't sleep b/c ofhowhe was positioned on the nerve. MY doctor told me that it didn't sound like he was on a nerve but another doctor told me to come in for an ultrasound. He was definitely on my sciatic and all the while I was hoping they'd try to move him OFF the nerve. Much to my surprise, I was told that nothing would be done. I was more miserable than ever.I had to figure out my own ways to actually be able to just sleep. Propping up the pillows helped.I got 3 hours of sleep at a time or so. Still in pain and still suffering from the flu, I finished packing the clothes. It was all that we  had  left and that took FOUR hours. I was  completely drained and in alot of pain by the end of that. He has moved off of my sciatic nerve for which I am so very grateful. Then I hit 34 weeks and 5 days. After DH and I did the deed I noticedsome pink on the toilet paperalong with a lot of discharge. I had  asneaking suspicion my mucus plug would be coming out soon. I called my midwife and she said that DH had probably just irritated my cervix. She also said to call back if anything else happened. I wasn't totally convinced but the next time I used the bathroom, nothing. I thought that maybe she was right. Before bed, I noticed there was a little bit of brown discharge on the tp. Definitely not sold on DH just irritating my cervix by this point. About 5am, I got up to use the bathroom and notice that PART of my mucus plug is on the tp. I  went back to sleep and decided to call my midwife later in the morning. I called her around noon and wastoldto comein so they could make sure it was my mucus plug. She checked my cervix, 1cm dilated and 60% effaced as of this past Monday. Also, I STILL am holding onto part of my mucus plug. After I saw my midwife on Monday, I started thinking how unprepared I am for labor this time! We're going for a water birth and no pain meds of any kind, in a birthing center. 2 weeks ago, I was certain I could do it but as time goes on and D-Day approaches, I'm losing faith in myself and my abilities to go through with my birth plan. I'm so worried that this will be yet another birth that doesn't go the way I want it to and the thought of that just crushes me. I can't wait for us to meet little Aluric but going through labor and delivery terrifies me this time! And time has gone by so fast this pregnancy. I feel like I haven't had enough time with my son and stepson and it's already honing in on time for the baby to arrive! I almost feel guilty though I know I shouldn't. Blake(my son) is 3 1/2 and Magne(my stepson) is 4 1/2 but I feel like they haven't had enough time with just us. I feel like if I keep thinking, I'm going to lose my mind! It feels better to get all of this out. If you read it, thanks for listening to me ramble. =)

[Mavoreen]

Dec. 7, 2009 at 5:54 AM

dont be scared! giving birth is no easy task! even if you do decide to back out on not having meds or whatever, but that doesn't make you any less of a woman or mother or anything like that!