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Just Another Tequila Sunrise Birthday
- Nov 19, 2009 at 6:04 PM
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- Comments (9) Total Views (129) Everyone can see this journal post.
It started on my 11th birthday. I woke up @ my Aunt Helen's house and found out that my mother was on the 6th floor of the University of Kentucky hospital. The psych ward. Her Conway Twitty tape had broken and this was the final straw. The straw that broke the camel's back. She had overdosed on vodka and Valium. Happy Birthday to me!
After this, I had to practically force my birthday on my parents every year. Some years I had parties. Some years I had weekend excursions. But every year, I planned these slumber parties, boy/girl parties, as we called them, or weekend vacations. I had to remind everyone that it was going to be my birthday because no one wanted to be reminded of the day my mother came undone. Everyone, except my Granny who always remembered w/ a special gift and the card that told me how special I was to her as her only granddaughter. My best friend from early childhood always showed up for every party and brought the right gift and a funny card. Even when we grew up and grew apart, I could always count on that card in the mail that said just the right thing. That is until the year it didn't show up and all the years since.
The year that Kathy's card didn't come was a bad birthday. That year my Granny even forgot my birthday until the next week. She had been sick and felt just awful about it, but still no card from Kathy and my Granny forgot and that wasn't the worse. My parents had been divorced for about 5 years. My Daddy was dating a woman and rumors were floating around our small town that he was going to marry her. I had asked him and he had assured me they were just rumors and I would be the 1st person he would tell if he was getting married. This was my 22nd birthday. I was expecting my 2nd son. I had worked 6 hours and gone to 2 classes. I was exhausted. My husband was working night shift so me and my baby son went to my mother's to spend the night. I picked up the newspaper and read in black & white that my Daddy and that woman had applied for a marriage licence. My heart was broken. As I sat there crying. Mother said, "OMGoodness! It's your birthday! Did you want me to bake you a cake or something?" It was after 10pm. No. I didn't want cake.
Please, don't think all my birthdays were miserable. I have fond memories of silly slumber parties w/ lots of girls dancing and lip syncing. Boy/girl parties w/ spin the bottle. Bakery cakes w/ Barbies in them wearing big hoop skirt cake gowns and the year my mother made a type writer cake because bakeries didn't do that back then and that's what I wanted. My 30th birthday was a blast! Several poolside rooms rented @ the Continental and the whole downstairs bar turned over for my party. All done by friends, for me. My 40th birthday, my husband surprised me w/ a wonderful part and beautiful gifts. My children were there and friends and he sung a Randy Travis song to me.
Then there is today. Today is my 45th birthday. After today, I am closer to 50 than I am to 40. That is traumatic enough. Last year me and my best female friend Missy celebrated our birthday together but I said that we shouldn't do that this year because it is Missy's BIG 4-0. So Next Saturday we are having a party for her. I told our friends I didn't want a party this year. I didn't want to take away from Missy's big year. Next year, we can celebrate together again. I didn't want any big, expensive gifts. They say men can't read our minds so we need to be specific and tell them what we want. For 6 months, I have said I want the cheap, $89.00 sewing machine @ Walmart. I don't sew much @ all and this sewing machine is all I need for what I want to do. I could have gotten it for myself anytime, but I have been waiting to get it as a gift. I got a set of crafting pliers. WHAT?
In lieu of a party, I wanted my husband to take me to my favorite Mexican restaurant and then to my Daddy's to play rook. We went to eat, but he didn't feel like going to Daddy's because of his head injury his sleep pattern is all messed up. In fact, we were back home by 4:30 and now he's in bed and I'm drinking tequila sunrises. It's 5:30pm. Angie called but she was calling to ask me to make appetizers for Missy's party, not to wish me a happy birthday. My mother called @ 8am, but Michael talked to her and he said she was calling to complain about my brother and didn't mention my birthday. Other than that, no one has called. I have gotten several cards in the mail and birthday wishes on facebook and CM. It's an okay birthday. I know there are so many people in the world that are far worse off than I. But I didn't think I was asking for much. A cheap sewing machine and a few hours playing cards w/ my Daddy. Was that too much? I guess so because I sure as heck didn't get it. Next time I go to Walmart, I'm going to go ahead and buy myself that damn sewing machine.
Am I sitting here feeling sorry for myself? Yep! So, if you happen to be reading this and you are in that group of "J&K Haters" who hate me, that's fine. Go ahead and gloat. Honey's life is not perfect. No, it's not.I had my son's like little stair steps, while still in college. I have a pretend relationship w/ my mother and a husband w/ a brain injury that requires surgery. My best friend has cancer. When I saw Scott this morning, we discussed putting off our trip to Marye's Heights until the Spring. He won't be up to in December. He's just now able to do his 6th round of chemo. His depression is worsening and I am wearing myself out trying to pretend he's going to get better and being Miss Susie Sunshine every time I'm around him.
So, yeah. Happy Birthday to me! I hope I have enough tequila.
BTW, that woman my Daddy married 23 years ago is now "my other mother" and I love her dearly.
Comments:
So ,my brother just called. I hadn't talked to him in a couple of weeks when we argued and then a couple of days ago we talked on the phone and had a huge argument. But this evening he is the only person to call specifically to say happy birthday and he loves me. Mother keeps saying we need to quit arguing, but it's something serious that we are disagreeing about. In the end we always love each other, no matter how much we disagree. And he is the one who called...I love him.
HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY HONEY. I am so sorry that I did not realize today was your Birthday. It was awesome finally getting to hear your voice, though.
Glad to hear he called just for that & he was able to put it all aside. Seems like you have a great brother deep down inside.
Happy Birthday, My Friend!!!!! HUGE hugs to you, also for all the people who were not there for you. My family has never been there for me. I have had birthdays come & go in the past with NO presents or cakes. I know how you feel. It is so sad that your husband is so sick. I am still not sure what is up w/ the pliers. I am glad your brother called. Make plans now for next year, GF!!!
Yes, my brother called. Then my Daddy called andMother beeped in so I got off the phone w/ Daddy because we were nearing the end of our conversation anyway and I ended up politely hanging up on Mother. I told her I love her and needed to go because even though she told me happy birthday she really wanted to talk about everything else and everybody else. After that she left me a message on FB telling me to call her if I need her. I wrote her back telling her I know she loves me and wants to mean that but I can't really call her and talk about anything that's going on w/ me and actually be heard.
Aww Honey I am so sorry you had such a crappy birthday. I think we've all had at least one of those. I spent my 16th birthday moving because we had been evicted from our rented trailer. Yeah, it was one of those birthdays. Tomorrow (or technically today) is my SO's birthday and Saturday is my mom's birthday so maybe I'll be able to remember you birthday next year. Hope your weekend is better than your birthday and remember that the rest of us in Latte Land love you!
Thank you all for your kind words and understanding. Heck @ 45, I should stop having birthdays or at least stop caring about them LOL. My 5th KY Belle friends all have gifts for me when I see them and I'm not worried about getting the gifts because I know they put a lot of thought and love into whatever they chose and that means a lot. I think yesterday it just got to be too much. My best friend has terminal cancer, my husband has a brain injury that has changed his personality and my relationships w/ my Mother & brother have been strained lately. I just blamed my mini melt down on my birthday LOL. I'm much better today.
I'm glad you're having a better day!
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