Does how to take care of a baby come back to you?

[lovetwins89]

First of all, me and hubby, Kris, have some huge hurdles to overcome before a baby can ever happen.

One is the fact that I have had a tubal ligation. Yeah, sounds like a problem doesn't it? It is - about a $5000 problem. That's is the going rate for the specialty clinic in NC to reverse the tubal. I had a tubal during the end of my first marriage. I was in a place of "I am done, I don't want anymore more kids no matter what". I never dreamed I would fall in love and marry a man without his own kids.

Kris married me with the assumption that he would never have kids of his own. He didn't even feel like he was giving up anything, he just wanted me, (insert big "AWWW" here). We've talked about doing the reversal, he would be happy if we can get it done, he'd be just as happy if we don't.

I feel like he is missing out, that he would make a pretty baby and a great dad. I have 10 year old twins and they are growing closer to him every day. However, Kris never got the chance to hold his own baby in his arms, to watch him/her grow, and all the wonderful and not-so-wonderful parts of parenthood.

We don't have an extra $5000, that's the other huge hurdle. We haven't started saving for it yet because he had back surgery last year and them the economy went south and his hours got cut. I can't even imagine purposely getting pregnant when we couldn't afford it.

So that leads me to this: I can't remember what it's like to take care of a baby/toddler! I swear I was in a sleep deprived haze for the first year of the twins' lives. I've been asking random new mother's that I know questions: how many diapers do you change a day, how many bottles do you go through per day? Did you try B/F'ing? When do you start finder foods? All these questions going around and around in my head.

I suppose if we are blessed with a baby, I'll do what I did 10 years ago - I'll figure it out as I go, and so will he.

[Proudof03]

Nov. 20, 2009 at 3:21 PM Ive had 2 children. One girl and one boy. the other unknown. i find myself asking the same questions and over and over i get the same answer. Yes it will all come back to you! its nature and for mothers nature is to nurture.

[dottieanna29]

Nov. 20, 2009 at 10:46 PM

You'll figure it out.  I had my last 2 kids 11 and 13 years after my first (remarried here as well).  It was very intimidating thinking about everything I forgot.  Plus, with my first I worked full-time before and after she was born so I missed out on a lot; now I'm a SAHM and I'm running into things I never had to deal with before.

I have some family members who wanted kids after their tubal.  They all ended up doing invitro using their eggs and Dh's sperm.  This is also what my doctor recommended when I had my tubal if I should ever want to reverse it.  I know at least in some states, insurance is required to cover a certain number of fertility treatments, including invitro.

Good Luck. I hope things work out for you.

[emslala]

Nov. 21, 2009 at 4:09 AM

You're going to do great. It will come back as you go along with your new baby. It's just one of those things LOL.
Good luck with your tubal & TTC!

[Dannys1Luv]

Nov. 21, 2009 at 4:39 AM

I am currently 17 weeks pregnant 9 years after my twins were born and my tubal ligation was performed. I had my Tubal Reversal on April 24, 2009 and was pregnant in less than 2 months. I had my surgery in NC also. Chapel Hill Tubal Reversal Center/Dr. Berger. I believe this may be the same place you are referring to. If it is then I highly recommend them. I fully believe that it will be like riding a bike. I think it will all come back. When you had your first you didn't know what to expect and it definitely has to be easier. (I Hope, anyway.) Good Luck with your decision.

[mcatherine]

Nov. 21, 2009 at 9:16 AM

I had a 12 year old son when my second child was born...  It all came flooding back that very first night at home :)

[we2angels]

Nov. 21, 2009 at 11:59 PM

if it doesn't work there is foster/adoption.  lots of kids needing a loving home!  g/l