Knowledge is Power

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Knowledge is Power
Nov 20, 2009 at 6:09 PM
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Knowledge is Power:

I was about to throw one of Blaise's tishirts over my sports bra when I remembered Jalil's advice not to wear anything 'bulky or baggy'. Looking in the mirror, I thanked long walks, lots of yoga, the crappy diet and my good gene's for my flat firm tummy. Not everyone had that after 2 weeks after giving birth to twins. Pulling my hair up, I bounded down the stairs to meet up with Jalil for my first lesson. Blaise was on the porch waiting when I came out. I leaned up, wrapping my arms around his neck, kissing him deeply for being such a good sport about something I knew he thought was just a waste of time.

Looking over my shoulder, he shook his head, "Be careful, okay? Don't get hurt."

"He's not gonna hurt me georgeous," I tried to reassure him with a smile, "He's gonna teach me how to fight back."

"Sometimes they don't know they own strength," He continued as I moved away to begin my stretching.

"I think I'm doing all the hitting..." I laughed, pulling my shoulders in front of me and loosening my fingers.

"It's like hitting a brick wall with them." He explained as I rolled my neck from one shoulder to the other, "Okay, I'll be right over here. You know I know a thing or two about Muggle fighting."

Grinning in the face of his obvious discomfort, I felt bad, leaning up to place a quick kiss where his colar caressed his neck, "You know more than that you think it's silly since I have a wand?"

"There can be a certain value to it." he laughed, "You're stronger with your wand. You can do things your physical strength could never supply."

My mind flashed backwards, "I don't always have my wand and even when I do, Expelliarmous is not a hard spell to master." I couldn't help but think of that day and how powerless even the memory made me feel. Before that, I'd never doubted my own ability to take care of me, I wanted that confidence back, that knowledge that within me was the power to protect me, "I'd like to know I can handle myself without it"

"It's important to you. I completely support you. Just be carefull." His hands entwined with mine, "Hit the pads not him so you don't break your hands."

Leaning up, I placed a kiss on his incrediable lips, "Don't break my hands, Got it." I grinned, knowing with my self imposed ban beginning soon, my hands had lots of things the needed to be doing, "It'd be a shame not be able to use them now that the doctors given me the go ahead for other fun, recreational sports."

"There are a lot more fun things we could do right now before the ban goes in place." He laughed, kissing the top of my head softly. "But this is important."

With one last smile, I headed down the steps, waving to Peni, Marcus, what what looked to be half the pack lounging on her porch. Grinning at J, I said, "We have an audience."

Laughing, he shook his head, getting right down to business, asking me to show him my fighting stance. I stepped back, legs slightly spread, arms out, fists up, frowning when he laughed once more. That's how they did it in the movies! " "No, scrappy, you need to do it more like this...you know, let me just show you" He said in that sultry voice of his, moving behind me, his hands sliding up my arms to move them into the correct positions, His fingers tucking my thumbs as he explained in my ear, "You gotta tuck your thumbs or you'll break them" his body leaned into mine, manuevering me into the correct angle he wanted, "Just like this" I heard Blaise clearing his throat loudly, the pack making comments, Peni and Marcus laughing, and knew I had to make a decission right there. Either give 110% of my attention to Jalil so I could learn this and learn it right, or half ass it so I could play around with everyone else. The latter option wasn't going to help me if I ever found myself back in the place I'd been in before. While it was a fear I would share with no one, as long as I knew that man was out there, as long as he was sending notes and pictures and threats, I wouldn't feel safe and comfortable anywhere, no matter how many pack guys were around, no matter how close Blaise was. I needed to know that I could handle myself, that if it came down to it, I could at least put up one hell of a fight. Never again would I back down.

I couldn't fight the never ending blushes at the intimate way J's body worked with mine as he showed me the proper way to through a punch, to balance my body to give a good kick. When my kick didn't come out just right, Jalil had me slow it down, watching my form, taking the time to explain, 'Your not leaning right, you gotta get your foot up higher with more power" moving to my side, one hand on my thigh steadying me as his other pressed down on my shoulder, "Like this"His hand trailed down the line of my leg to my foot, showing me where it needed to end, "You want this to be leveil with thier head for maximum impact"

Blaise's voice broke my concentration, and I turned his way, trying to soften my words with a laugh, "Gorgeous," I began, "Do you need to go inside so I can learn how to do this right? It's pointless if I don't know how to hurt someone." Maximum impact. That was my goal. Jalil could trail fingers over my leg all day if the end result was being able to knock that assholes head off if he ever came near me again. I knew that's where Blaise's anger was stemming from, the proxemity, the touching, but not everything in life could be learned out of books. He'd have the same problem if it was Peni over here with her hands running up my leg.

We blew through front and rear grabs, J teaching me both how to break and counter them. Knowing there was more than one way to manuever myself out of these holds, helped. Every bit of information just felt like more power.

"Ok, now let's move onto how to break a monthing attack" J said with a grin I was pretty sure was meant to be a dig at my fuming fiance. Knowing if I broke my focus to make him feel better, my lesson would probably end now, I did the selfish thing, tuning him out once more and laying on the ground. Maybe it made me seem like a bitch, but I knew if I wanted to stop wallowing in this pool of insecurity, I needed my mojo back. For me, that came in knowing I could make it on my own if the need arose.

I felt the color creep up my skin once more as Jalil moved on top of me, that smile still in place as his next lesson began, "Now you can use your hands and arms to try to hit them or do eye jabs, but your best bet is grabbing the arm and pulling it to the side, reversing the mount...try that," Doing what he said, I flipped him, knowing it was more that he let me flip him then any actual skill on my part. Flushing harder at my new position astride him, he instructed, "Now continue your hits," hitting against his pads, I was surprised when he flipped me back over, "They're gonna try to fight back, using thier knee's to pin down your shoulders " He moved up my body, his legs on my arms, I leaned up, watching how he was using them to pin me, "You need to either try again to roll, or bring your hands up to the groin," his tongue rolled over his lips. "Wanna try that?"

As Blaise threw in his two cents, I rolled, bringing J back under me with a grin. That time was skill, the surprise on his face said he hadn't been expecting it, "What's next?" I asked laughing.

"Sara!" Blaise yelled, the fury in his tone commanding my attention.

Turning his way as J steadied me with a hand on my waist, I asked "What? I just wanna know what move we're doing?"

"Get your... with the... off.... hands... come on... Sara..... really?!?!?" He stammered, his face red. Looking down a J for clarification, I saw what Blaise was seeing, His fiance mounting a guy who was gripping her waist and looking at her like he was enjoying the lessons a little to much.

Jumping up, I felt my face catch fire at the realization of what was running through Blaise's head...Jalil's head. J just laughed, moving beside me and placing a kiss on my hair line, "Your doing great, wanna work on side grabs?"

Moving away from him, I rolled my eyes,"Now I know that's not self-defense" I made my way over to Blaise, hoping my single minded determination to get my grove back hadn't upset him to much, I gave him a small smile, hoping the distrust in his eyes was meant for J and not for me, "Were you watching? Can we practice later?"

"Do you feel better?" He asked when he finally looked my way.

"I know how to break a mounting attack..that's gotta be helpful" I tried to tease, knowing he didn't really know the depth of the fear in me. I put up a good front, it was easier to get through the day by day without letting the knowledge of what had happened in that room eat at me everyday, but that didn't mean the moment wasn't still burned into my mind.

Taking a deep breath, he asked once more, "So you feel better?"

"I do," I smiled, wrapping my arms around his waist. I really did, anything that made me feel like I stood a better chance put my mind at ease. "You still think it was a waste of time?"

"I don't know. You have to actually use it and see if it's useful." he told me. "And not on him." he pointed his way around the pack."Or him... or him... or him..." Where's Reg when you need him."

Ask and you shall recieve, I thought with a grin as my jackass of an ex-husband made his way into my backyard. Not pausing to think about, I knew Reg and I had some issue's that hitting him really might help me work out, I looked at him with a grin, "Wanna let me kick your ass for a good cause?"

He had no problem with the idea and we started to brawl Sara and Reg style. I swung, he dodged, not missing a step I struck out once more, his words from yesterday playing though my mind. The feeling of my fist connecting with his jaw was satisifying and I followed it quickly, raising my legs to kick. Reg apparently had his own pent up aggression to deal with, his leg sweeping out to knock mine out from under me. I hit the ground hard enough to knock the wind out of me, not pausing to deal with the pain. Furious, I pulled up onto my knee, arching my other leg up and out, connecting with his knee's and bringing him down. I turned to stand, but Reg was quicker, grabbing my ankle and dragging me across the dirt towards him. My adreniline pumped, my self preservation taking over, I rolled onto my back, kicking out at his hand. He pounced, moving on top of me, pinning my hands above my head as he said, "Ya know, if he's not getting it at home, he can get it else where."

"Sara, have you got this? I would be more than happy to take it from here." Blaise called from beside us.

Eyes narrowed on Reg's I replied, "My fight." Not just the blows, but the words. Reg and I needed to get things straight once more.

I turned my head, biting him as hard as I could, drawing blood, using the moment he jerked his arm away to free my hand and grasp his other arm, reminding him, "He's not that guy. He's not you." I pushed all my strength against his arm, flipping him like Jalil had shown me. Sitiing low on his hips. I lifted my self slightly, "What the fuck," my knee connected solidly with his groin, "is wrong with you?"

He grunted through his pain, "Truth hurts, doesn't it?"

Pulling my knee back once more, I asked, "Do you wanna talk this out or do you want me to try and kick your ass some more? The way I'm feeling right now, I could probably do it."

I watched the internal struggle in his eyes as he made his decession, finally opening his mouth to say, "How come you never loved me like you do him?"

I sighed, the fight draining out of me at the realization that his anger stemmed from pain. It didn't excuse it, but I could understand it. It's just how Reg and I worked. We let things build till one of us exploded and then we found away to deal with the fallout. Caring for him enough to answer honestly, I said, "To love you like this, I would have had to trust you. You made that impossible." relaxing my leg, I sat on his stomach, my eyes meeting his, "We're so much better like this. We're better as friends than we ever were lovers."

I listened to him laugh as he said, "I remember us being pretty good lovers."

Rolling my eyes, I said, "Not the kind of lover I meant, jackass,"

Taking a deep breath, he said softly, "It just kinda stings, ya know?"

Moving to his side, I sat indian style, taking a hand in mine, "Of course it stings, Reg, we were married, we were in love, we thought we had forever. Those things don't die completely. When you fall in love, get married and start popping out babies...it's gonna sting a little over here too." I gave him a small smile.

He cracked a grin, "You mean when your ninety?"

Laughing, I replied, "Ok, if you wait that long it might not sting so much." I nudged his arm gently with my foot, "What about you and Margaux?"

"Ahhh....my Angel..." he said with his devilish grin.

"Wait...seriously? I married you and the sweetest nickname you had for me was jackass....she gets Angel? That's just wrong." I laughed.

He sat up explaining, "She's my kind of Angel...Halo all tarnished, wings falling off as she stumbles drunk across a bar..."

I giggled at the image, "The kind of Angel a dog could love...."

"Hey hey hey...no one said the L word.."

Grinning, I remembered that's exactly how it started with me and Blaise...the L word, "So what is it then?"

"She's like me," He chuckled, 'It's as close to dating myself as I can get."

The thought made me laugh, "Do we need to start a pool on whose gonna start bed hopping first?"

"I'm trying really hard to be good here," he told me moving to his feet, his hand out stretched to help me up. Taking it, he pulled me to my feet where I felt for the first time just how throroughly my ass was kicked, "Any advice?" he asked.

"Yeah," I giggled, beginning a slow limp beside him, "Keep little Reg in your pants unless you Angel," I rolled my eyes faking a gag, "Takes him out to play."

He laughed with me, "Good call...maybe I'll try it," Stopping as we reached Blaise.

Part of me wanted to snuggled my sore self into his broad shoulders, but I knew I was sweaty, dirty, reaching a hand to my hair, I could feel grass and leaves tangled into it, plus the stings of the cuts on my back. I stayed where I was, deciding against rubbing my sweaty self on his designer suit.

Leaving the option open to him, I placed my fingers softly on his face, leaning very close to his face to whisper, "I really wanna kiss you, but I'm nasty and sweaty, so if you don't want me to, I understand, just tell me now,"

The smile that played across his face as he tugged me closer wiped my concerns away, "Come here." his arms wrapped around me, his lips finding mine, kissing me softly before we remembered Reg was standing there. I looked at him, brow raised, my eyes letting him know what I expected without me ever having to open my mouth.

Looking at me, he took a deep breath, "About the other day," he rolled his eyes, looking at me once more, obviously hoping for a pardon that he would not be getting. He'd messed up, it was time to pay the piper for it, "I was out of line." grinning at little at Blaise he added, "I was an asshole. I'll own it"

Blaise gave him a nod and that annoying guy look that said he didn't need to say more. He hadn't even actually said sorry! "Come on...there has to be more than that!"

Blaise reminded me with a smile, "We've both beat his ass in two days. You want me to give it a go again?"

Reg shook his head, "I think getting my ass beat by a girl...a really tiny not very threatening girl...is enough right?" he grinned as I show cased my middle finger, "You want me to make amends" he dropped down on knee in front of me, a move familiar enough to make me cringe before he began to beg, "Please don't cut Blaise off...pretty please" I started to giggle, Blaise's laughter joining mine.

Looking down at Reg, I said through my laughter, "Your such a dumbass...get up"

Reg chuckled, grinning at Blaise, "I tried man...maybe your more persuasive then me"

Blaise said with a smile,"I think we'd all be better off if you stay out of our love life. try that."

Reg laughed, amending the demand, "I promise to try my best"

Looking more intent, Blaise said, "You'll have to do better than that or we'll all find ourselves right back here."

Knowing Reg the way I do, I knew trying his best was going to be hard enough. Smiling at Blaise, I explained, "I think that's as good as he gets gorgeous," shooing him with my hands, 'Go home"

He chuckled, "Ok, ok...gee, I know when I'm not wanted"

Giggling, I thought of how often his inability to know when he wasn't wanted around was a problem, I called, "I wish!"

"Love you too," he laughed his response, blowing a kiss in Blaise's direction as he left.

Touching a streak of dirt on my face, he said sweetly , "Let's go get you fixed up."

Wincing as I turned to face him, fresh laughter bubbled up as I said, "He begged for sex for you"

"I haven't forgotten he's the one who got me cut off to begin with." he reminded me, "It's the least he could do."

Giving him a small smile I relented, making him unhappy to soothe my own ego didn't seem worth it, "We don't have to, really. We can hump like bunnies til we walk down the aisle," I leaned up to kiss him softly, "As long as your happy"

"When can we agree of what makes both of us happy?" he asked and I saw the problem there. I was actually kind of looking forward to trying it. Gawd knows I'd only been with one guy that didn't push for sex 90% of the time. From school days when I refused to put out, earning the title 'ice princess', to Reg, who wanted it all the time anytime, to Marcus who I hopped into bed with as soon as my ring dissolved, to Blaise, my boy on the side. Sebastian was the only exception. "I want that for you." he continued, " If you feel like we need more in our relationship, or less, that means a lot to me."

Relenting, I said, "What makes me happy is being with you and the kids," I slid my arms around his waist, loving the feel of him and knowing talking me out of my stance wouldn't take much work, "just like this...well, without all the dirt and bruises and grass, but you know what I mean" I shook my head at myself with a laugh, "How come whenever I try to say something sweet, I always end up babbling?"

"Everything you say is sweet, darling." he kissed me softly, melting me completely as he lifted me into his arms, "Let's clean you up."

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