what would you do? Life in a loveless marriage

[tericared]

I am in over my head, 3 years ago I made a terrible mistake and married a man I did not love because I was pregnant and I was upset from an extremely difficult breakup. I have tried with all of my heart and soul and spent hours a day praying for the answer. I need to leave my husband because we are not in love and never were. I have tried to "fake it till I make it" for 3 years. There was NO spark, never has been and never will be. Being in a loveless marriage is like being in a prison. I feel trapped. I used to get drunk so I could sleep with my husband. Now it has been 10 weeks since we have had sex and I cant even drink enough to force myself to do it. I feel like I have a roommate. I can not remember the last time we even kissed.

My soul mate is out there. We are in contact and he feels the same way I do. We made a terrible mistake 5 years ago and all we want is to be back together in a real loving relationship. I love him more then anything in the world and I need him back. I made a promise to his Father at his Fathers funeral that I would take care of his son and never leave no matter what. It was written and buried with him. It haunts me everyday. I hate the idea of a divorce but I set myself up for this. My husband is not interested in me and I am not in him. We do not fight or cheat but we may as well. I will never be whole until we are reunited. My husband agrees. I dont even know what else to say.

[tericared]

Nov. 21, 2009 at 1:56 PM

You need to get a divorce....

[kimigogo]

Nov. 21, 2009 at 3:12 PM

I agree with the previous poster, you have one life, you need to be happy!

[Lb128f]

Nov. 21, 2009 at 5:19 PM

Good Luck!

[ColtsFan1912]

Nov. 21, 2009 at 6:35 PM

leave hon. & best of luck. I think it takes a lot of courage to admit this, & to go about it the right way, to divorce instead of cheating around. Good luck girl