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Observations From Behind The Ice Cream Counter
- Nov 21, 2009 at 11:24 AM
- By
- Comments (39) Total Views (1894) Everyone can see this journal post.
I work in a 10,000 sq. ft. candy store. It's awesome-ness on a scale which most people will never experience. Everywhere I look, there's chocolate - lots of it.
As an employee of this Unnamed Company, however, I have had the opportunity to witness some mighty disturbing behaviors from my customers. I don't know if it's the presence of such vast quantities of chocolate, or if this is how they behave regularly. The optimist in me hopes that the proximity of all the endorphin-triggering confections which we offer for disturbingly low prices is the culprit, but the pessimist in me - nay, the realist in me - knows that my customers most likely behave like this when they go to Radio Shack, too.
Samples. I'll start here. Oh, customer, my customer. Help yourself to one, two, or if you're feeling really bold, go ahead and nibble on three samples whilst you browse through 2 acres worth of product. For every product you put in your shopping cart, take a sample. Go ahead. And thank you for your business. Oh, moocher, you asshole. Have you no shame? You come into my store with no intention to buy a single thing, not even the suberubermega awesome deals we have (8lbs. of chocolate for $10!!), and plant your mile-wide ass in front of the sample tray, buffet-style, and proceed to have the audacity to get pissy with my clerks for only having 1 pound of chocolate available to sample... for free, you douchebag! Thank you for your busine... oh, never mind. Ass. Hole.
Prices. That's a good one to tackle next. Look, folks. We offer some really great deals, like the above-mentioned 8lb. equation, and other equally awesome prices. We also offer higher-priced items. Now, when you're loading up on that bunny-molded cheap stuff for your own personal stash, I couldn't be more proud of you! I mean what's better than being able to sneak 3 oz. of milk chocolate in the middle of the night, except doing it with the knowledge that you only paid 19 cents for that 3 oz.? That's pure magic right there. Sweet Dreams, Sugar Tush! Job well done! BUT, when you're buying gifts for people around, ohhh, say Christmas - it's more than just sorta tacky to buy them last year's chocolate bunnies and slap a piece of plastic holly on the package. It's a BUNNY. No amount of holly, or Ho-Ho-Ho wrapping paper will disguise the fact that The Easter Bunny has come to town a bit late, and that you're a cheap-ass tight wad. Just sayin'.
Ice Cream. Yes, in additon to the all the diabetes-inducing confections we offer for sale, we also hawk ice cream, Really, really good ice cream. Because it's really, really good ice cream, it's a bit more expensive than what you'll find at the grocery store or at the frozen soft-serve dairy place across the street. For the third time, sir, yes that is the price for a triple scoop supreme hot fudge sundae with nuts and marshmallow creme on top. Yes sir, you're right; you could probably go to the grocery store and buy all of the ingredients for four of these sundaes for the same price as what we sell just one of these sundaes here. Yes sir. No sir, we don't currently have Black Walnut flavored ice cream in the freezer. Yes, it's on order. No, really, we don't have it right now. How could we NOT have it right now when it's one of our best sellers? Well, sir, because it's one of our best sellers. Sugar-free ice cream? Yes, we have two flavors right over here. Why only two flavors? Well, sir, because sugar-free ice cream doesn't sell as well as the other flavors. Can you taste one of the flavors? Sure... here ya go. Can you taste another flavor? Sure... what do you think of that one? No? Okay. You want to taste that one, too? Okay. Sir, would you like a scoop of ice cream in a cup or on a cone? No? I thought not. Have a good day!
So, now I must go get ready for another fun day at the Candy Store. Whee.
Comments:
lol I have to say, that was the best rant I've read in a while. It also makes me want chocolate.
The biggest candy store I have ever been in, was the one at Hershey factory. I saw a lot of rudeness there as well. Candy makes people crazy.:P
Oh how I miss your journals. You keep me laughing. I heart you!
Haha that was amazing! I have a soft spot in my heart for people that work doing any kind of customer service. I used to and man you really need the patience of a saint to deal with some of these nut jobs! Haha, well if anyone else pisses you off at work, please, do tell! I'd love to read it! :-)
I work in a bakery department of a large store and they love to ask me if we have sugar free? wheat free? egg-less? Nope just the regular cakes, cookies and etc. WHY? Because they don't stock them. Not my choice. They stand there for 10 minutes to argue with me, like am I sure that there isn't any hiding in the back room. Yep I hid it when I saw you coming. Self absorbed idiot ....
The best is the older man that was hitting the counter when we didn't have the "sample" cookies we gave to the kids, Oh he wanted one for himself not a child... It threw a fit just like a child........
The customer who did the thing yesterday with the thing with the shoes and the yard chair and the chocolate and the bunnies and the sombero?
Yeah, that was ME.
ahh, the joys of working in customer service... especially if it's food related. There's nothing that people get more crazy about than their food!! The worst is working around Christmas time. I worked in a deli and this lady came in and wanted 12 packets each of mustard and mayonnaise. Fine, except that she wasn't buying any sandwiches. So she was basically just wanting us to *give* her free stuff, when it isn't free to us. One or two, okay, but 12 of each? So when I told her I'd charge 10 cents per mayo and 5 per mustard, she was livid. She claimed she wouldn't ever come back, but unfortunately for me she did.
I LOL all the way through this!
Love it! But now I want ice cream. Dammit.
u know what as much as I really do like chocolate it really does make me craby when I eat it! lol
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