I'd rather skip it this year

[ColleenF30]

But it's not like I get a choice.  I am speaking of the holidays of course.  It has gotten to the point of seeing them as nothing more than a ton of extra work.  Well that and I am flat broke.  We only have internet right now because my sons school reimburses me for the cost so that he can do his schooling online.  I am behind on every bill I have I think, and there is no way I can get presents right now.  I am going to a food drive on Monday to hopefully get enough to make it through the rest of this month (God bless them for helping so many).

See when I lost my first husband 3 yrs ago I seriously considered skipping Thanksgiving and Christmas.  Actually if it hadn't been for the kids I would have really considered skipping out on the rest of life, and joining my first husband.  The kids kept me here.

Since Evan passed 2 months ago once again I have thought about the Holiday skip.  I want to just forget them so bad, but I know I can't, and I won't.  I just don't want to deal with the reality of this being my life.  I despise my life at this moment.  Nothing is the way I want it to be, and hasn't been for a very long time.  I don't know if it ever will again either.

Being me I will suck it up, look happy, and somehow make it through this time of year once again.

[we2angels]

Nov. 21, 2009 at 11:52 PM

Do you belong to a church or have relatives that will get the kids some things?  I remember one Christmas it was just stuff from people at church from my childhood.  It is just something small for the kids.

Do what you can.  Make sure you have food of course but if you have decorations just do a few like the tree for the babies and your son.  And try to get through it for them.  For me this will be a rough holiday too because of a loss but you have had 2 really rough ones.  I will keep you in my prayers momma.  I'm so sorry.  :(

[tony1638]

Nov. 22, 2009 at 12:07 AM

I am so sorry for you for all you are going through.  I am sending you hugs and prayers. 

[drgnfly77]

Nov. 22, 2009 at 1:40 AM

I'm right there with you.  I just got a bonus from work and am having to decide if I pay the bills or buy presents.  It's no fun getting older and playing santa.

[bablondie]

Nov. 23, 2009 at 12:20 AM

God bless you and your family, I know he has something special and wonderful in store for you in the future...just hold tight and enjoy your loved ones this holiday. I say cook/bake up a storm to get thru the holidays, everyone loves baked goodies and skip the presents!

[nicholewalters]

Nov. 23, 2009 at 12:34 AM

I know how you feel holidays are tough enough money wise without having to deal with the loss of a loved one. This year my MIL and I are getting together with the kids and baking some holiday treats, I found this great recipe for Cake Pops, easy and the kids love them. Then we will just give out some of the treats to family, etc. But present wise, remember, material things will break or get lost, but the time you spend with your children will never break. Do something personal with your kids for Christmas and they will remember that more than anything store bought. My prayers and good wishes go out to you.

[Lb128f]

Nov. 23, 2009 at 2:46 AM

I'm sorry about Evan...losing people we love is so difficult. I hope you will find some joy in the holiday season...we can only love and live life with the ones who are here now...and you have some beautiful children who look to you for what they need. You've found a new love in your life...some don't ever have one..;( I'm sure as parents it's been very rough trying to come to terms with losing a child and still being "there" for the children that you have at home. Maybe this holiday season you and your family could make remembrances for Evan...when my brother lost his DD we all made ornaments for the tree. We use them every year now...she's always with us -- as Evan is with you. Celebrating and having a happy holiday season doesn't mean you are "forgetting" Evan...that will never happen...but, that you are doing what needs to be done to maintain your family's bond. I'll be saying a prayer that you all do have a good holiday season.

[xErinx]

Nov. 23, 2009 at 8:25 AM

i want to skip the holidays too.....its too much with my hubby being away (though he is coming back). im only doing it for the sake of my kids. One day at a time....

[vicesix]

Nov. 23, 2009 at 8:57 AM

Wishing you some peace during this season.