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Three more children for Thanksgiving
- Nov 22, 2009 at 9:58 PM
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- Comments (29) Total Views (2246) Everyone can see this journal post.
This year I have 3 more kids for Thanksgiving than I did last year. Last year at this time, my heart was broken. I wanted to make the holidays special for the 9 kids who were here, but I loved 3 kids who were so far away. Their "paperwork" wasn't done, so they couldn't come home. I had never met them yet, but God had already given me a "mother's love" for them. He had placed them in my heart before ever placing them into my home. It was like having my heart torn into pieces, not knowing what they were experiencing on Thanksgiving.
Its odd to me that somehow people think that adoption is "less". They somehow think that I would love my one biological child "more" in some way. They think that there must be "less" connection there with my children who are adopted.
I guess for those who have never been touched by adoption, maybe there isn't a true understanding. God builds families. He gives everyone free will of course, but He has a plan that He knows is best for us. Unfortunately the birth families of my children chose to not value the gift that they had been given and instead abuse, neglect, and/or abandon them. As a result of their choices, my children ended up in foster care. God knew all of that and chose me to be their mother. I gladly jumped at the chance to receive these blessings.
The thing is that just as your love grows for a baby who is about to be born to you, the same thing happens with your love for a child that God puts in your heart for adoption. God is the author of all of that love and He works it the same way for adoption as for birth. He's even already put that love and longing there for the next children who I don't even know yet. I guess at this point it is kind of like the love that a mother feels when she knows she is pregnant, but doesn't know if the baby is a girl or boy yet. You love them and know they exist, but don't know WHO they will really be. The anticipation and worries are there. The adoration of that life.
What is different for an adoptive parent is the waiting. When a pregnant mother is waiting to give birth, she knows the whereabouts of her baby. She knows that it is being loved and cared for, bc she has the ability to do that. She knows a general time frame for when her "waiting" will end. For an adoptive mother waiting all of that is different. The child already is born and somewhere. I don't know exactly where or if they are being cared for well. I don't know when the social workers and the system will get around to do what needs done. It is a feeling of helplessness that can't be described, to love a child so much and be unable to care for them or touch them or even see them.
I am so thankful that this year all 12 of my children will be here for Thanksgiving! I pray for the other waiting children. I pray for each child who is unwanted, unloved, and forgotten this holiday season. I especially pray that God will bless my next little ones - whoever and wherever they are. I pray that He will make them known to me and bring them home safely and quickly as soon as possible.
Comments:
Thank you for giving me and my family HOPE! for next thanksgiving to see who will be at my house
So many children are waiting that every dinner table should be full of little ones. I hope you all get matched with your waiting children soon! Prayers for you and your future little ones. The waiting is so hard, but the rewards are beyond compare.
What a great journal! Thank you for writing it and shedding some light on how adoptive mother's feel about their children right from the start. I know I would have thrown myself under a bus for my son from the first moment I was told about him. The love was there way before I meet him and it was intense and powerful. Watching my daughters being taken from my home crying to be "re-united" was the most painful thing I have ever experienced and I was sure I would not recover from it. I hoped for the best and what God decided was that they would become my daughters forever in the future. Never underestimate the love and bond of an adoptive family and assume it is less because no genetic material is shared, There is no possible way I could love my children any more. It Just isn't possible.
Very nice post! My 4 siblings are all adopted, and people would always say that I didn't have any "real" sisters or brothers. I spent a lot of time crying about it, until one day my sister came up to the school and explained it to all of my friends. I think that it's truly hard for people to understand what it's like to be in any kind of adoptive situation unless they've been there. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving with your beautiful children! :)
This is beautiful. I have always wanted to adopt children, especially when I was told I couldn't have my own. Two miracle later and DH and I are still talking about adopting when we can afford to do it.
I have 14 adopted siblings myself. My parents didn't treat those 14 any different than the 10 they already had. They are my siblings as much as the one's who share some DNA with me.
It is so nice to hear from people who grew up in families that were built through adoption and especially both bio and adoption. The word "real" drives me crazy. If some people are "real" then are the others "fake". GRRR. All 12 of the kids following me around call me MOM and seem pretty real to me. lol
great post MOMMY9.. too bad you cant change the SN without having to delete everything and start over...
and to Kenre.. there are many adoption situation that truly cost less than maybe a new wardrobe.. and i am by NO MEANS comparing our children to clothes.. i just know what WE went thru for our two youngest and for us it was less than 200$.. but my children are priceless!!! there ARE ways to becoming parents of waiting children if this is a true calling. 
Awesome journal! You're so right - the love for our adopted children, foster children AND biochild is NO different at our house, either!
We have 2 new ones this Thanksgiving at our table :)
Thank you for sharing this...beautiful. Hope you ALL have a very Happy Thanksgiving!
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I truly enjoyed reading your journal post. My husband and I are just beginning our journey as foster to adopt parents. God has yet to match with a child waiting for adoption. I know in His time he will bring us the child or children that we are mean to adopt. You and your family are so precous and such a blessing to me . I don't post much but I enjoy following your posts. I want to wish a Happy Thanksgiving and a Blessed Christmas.
- ktm786
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