My Pregnancy Story part 6

[ShawnaH2005]

So Here i am. 36 weeks pregnant and I am going to be induced.

I am transferred from the long time 'home" in antepartum and moved to labor and delivery. Here i spend the night. They gave me cervidil to help soften my cervix as i was still completely closed and not effaced at all. I cramp all night long. I really got no sleep and that gave me WAY to much time to think. Think about this baby that is going to be born unhealthy, to think about the past 6 months of being lonely, time to think about how my everyday, every moment has been about this baby and after tomorrow what is my life going to be ?  My mom and sister stayed the night at a hotel so they could come to the hospital early the next morning.

at 6:30 I get up and I take a shower. I tried to shave my legs but well lets just say that was a battle! The nurse comes in to start the pitocin and they check my cervix. I am still closed up nice and tight. Wonderful! At this time I am introduced to a student nurse. The charge nurse tells me that she is going to be with me all day. She is going to watch the monitors. It was the first birth she had ever been to and I am very certain she will never forget me! At 7:30 the I.V is started and the medication is going. My mom and sister arrive. We sit around looking at each other, none of us really know what to say. I felt bad for the SN because she really was uncomfortable with the whole situation. She didn't know what to say to me. Some how "I really hope your baby doesn't die" was well.... awkward.

My doctor comes in to see my about 8:30. He asks me how I was feeling. I told him I was really starting to get uncomfortable. He kinda laughed at me, and said well they must still be cramps because you are not contracting at all. My monitors were level no peaks of contractions and I suddenly became very scared. I was complaining about cramps? What the heck was I gonna do when labor started? I decided to just shut up and lay there.

At 10:05 I got up to use the bathroom. I kept feeling like I needed to have a bowel movement but I couldn't. I stood up from the toilet to go back to bed and GUSH! my water broke, again. Told the SN that my water broke and she called for my nurse. After I go back in bed I was in horrible pain. I was crying and my mom was looking at my SIL like OMG! She is not even in labor yet and she is crying! What are we going to do? I actually heard my mom tell my SIL it was going to be a VERY LONG DAY! My head nurse decided to go ahead and check me and more than one person was shocked to hear that I was dilated to a 5! Upon investigation we discovered the SN had put my monitor on upside down and well that was why they couldn'tsee the contractions I was claiming to have! At that moment I asked for my epidural and tried to convince myself that as soon as I had it that all would be well. Unfortunately for me my body had other plans! AT 10:30 am I sat up in bed and looked at my mom and proclaimed "I HAVE TO PUSH" The SN ran to get the head nurse who came in and said " sweetie your just feeling pressure" I assured her that while I had never done this before I was sure it was not a feeling you could get wrong! My mom asked her to check me again and reluctantlyshe did. OMG She is a 9 1/2! In a slit second lights were turned on more people than I could count ran into me room. I was trying so hard no to push but it was really beyond my control. My doctor comes rushing in and as he is washing his hands he tells me not to push. yeah sure I'll do that! I ask the nurse where my epidural was and she looked at me and said, "oh sweetie its too late for that" I was like WHAT? NO, NO, No! Please dear god, let me have a shot then. Nope it was too late for anything. I would have panicked it if could have but the urge to push was unstoppable. My doctor was yelling at me to stop pushing, as I was not all the way dilated. I tried and panted and tried when all of a sudden the monitor went silent.

They nurse tried to find his heartbeat but found nothing. My doctor told me I needed to get this baby out and get him out now. My mom told me later at that moment a nurse called the OR and told them we had a possible emergency c-section on the way. I pushed as hard as I could. I could feel myself ripping, I felt the doctor give me and episiotomy but I push more. I pushed with everything in methrough two contactions and my little man was born at 10:34 a.m. He was born with the cord around his neck three times, and he was blue. I have never in my life seen that color of blue before. He is handed to the NICU team that has been called into my delivery and I can't see or hear anything. My mom and sisters are crying. The SN is crying. I just layed there. My doctor is working on me. I am bleeding badly and I am in need of stitches. So many stitches that they quit counting after 144. I have a fourth degree laceration.

After what seemed like hours but in reality was 7 minutes I heard the most wonderful sound in the world, my little man cried. It was weak and not very loud, but he cried. He is brought to me briefly to see and then they tell me they are taking him to the NICU. They need to run tests and he needs to be on oxygen. It takes my doctor over and hour to stitch me up and I send my mom to the NICU to see how he is doing. I am moved to my recovery room after another hour. My mom comes back to tell me that he is struggling and they asked her to leave the NICU. I try to get information out of the nurse's but they say they don't have any.

I wait and wait and wait and wait some more. One of my nurses tells me that if the news was really bad then I would have heard something already. Not the best news but I guess she has a point. At 4 p.m. I decided I have had enough and I demand they take me to see him. I am wheeled to the NICU. I am in shock of all the tiny babies in there. So many little babies, some only as big as my hand. I am wheeled to a bassinet and I am shocked. My son is HUGE! Well compared to all the other kids he is! 7 lbs, 6.5 oz, 19 1/2 in. He is big for his gestation too. He is beautiful and he is pink and he is awake and he is sucking on his thumb! I get my first good look of him and see that his feet are severely deformed looking. I ask the nurse about it and she says I need to speak to his doctors. I am unable to hold him yet, so i touch him and talk to him for as long as they let me. I go back to my room and meet with his doctors. They tell me that he is doing very well. The x rays of his lungs look great and he is only getting a small percentage of O2. They want to observe him for a while longer but they think he is going to be just fine! I am introduced to Dr. Adkesson he is a pediatric orthopedic doctor. I don't know it yet but this man and I are going to be spending a lot of time together. He tells me that my son has two club feet. He is going to need corrective surgery and a lot of therapy. It is too soon to tell if he will be able to walk without assistance but he assures me that he will do anything he can to help us, but for now he said to enjoy the fact the he is healthy and take it one problem at a time.

My family decides to leave for the night around 10:00. I am exhauseted and in a lot of pain. I am left alone to reflect what has happened and I am unable to fully comprehend it all. At 10:30 there is a knock on my door. My doctor Dr. Gross the one who I didnt really like and the one who ended up delivering my baby came in pushing a bassinet. The baby was doing well enough to be in the regular nursery and he wanted to be the one to bring him to me to hold for the first time. He handed the baby to me and sat on the edge of my bed and said " Im sorry, I know that I didnt give you any hope and told you it was not worth doing, and I was wrong. I never thought I would see you holding a healthy breathing baby. I am glad I was wrong" I thanked him and he told me he would see me in the morning. The nurse that was with him told me the baby needed to eat and handed me a bottle and said "call if you need anything" I sat there and feed my baby and held him and burped him and sobbed.

It occured to me that I have a healthy baby, and for that I was so thankful. However it also occured to me that all along I had planned for a funeral and now I had a child that was going to go home with me and I didnt have a thing for him. You don't buy a crib for a baby that is supposed to die. You don't buy a carseat and diapers and bottles and blankets for a baby that you are not going to be able to take home. Suddenly my worries of the past 6 months transformed into a whole new set of worries, but for that night none of it mattered. Nicholas Alexander was here and he was healthy, and he was going to go home with me!

[goatmom4]

Nov. 22, 2009 at 10:44 PM

I am so glad yoyur faimly   is probaly so excited they will help you get the crib and stuff    I am so glad he is ok    Blessings give yourself time to heal your ripping sounds bad     God bless

[MSugarKane]

Nov. 23, 2009 at 8:22 AM

Congratulations!  I am so glad he is OK and your doing well.  Enjoy !