Maidn's Raving's

down the rabbit hole and to the left


"Don't be afraid of the space between 
your dreams and reality. If you can 
dream it, you can make it so." 
- Belva Davis 



In the past weeks , I have been a bit abscent , for those of you that noticed, I was in one of those rut places in my life where I pretty much hated everything and everybody . I was convinced that life and everything about it just sucked. I knew I was in the rut and though at first I attempted to break out of it , after weeks I finally gave up . And settled into my own little rut and start to set up house . 

It was a situation in which there were too many things in my life that seemed to be in a perpetual state of hurry up and wait. I am still in my ongoing divorce battle , which may be the longest divorce in history , I was attempting to return to school and had hit multiple speed bumps and delays there , and so I had just decided to chuck it all and sit in my rut . Kind of like alchild who doesn't win I had stuck out my lip and stomped over to a corner to pout. Wallowing in my self pity and angry and frustrated that life wasn't going to feel bad and fix it for me and let me win , on my terms every time. 

Well last week I rallied myself and called the school deciding to try one last time before continueing my tantrum and self pity. 

Was I surprised when they called back and said that It is worked out and I will be able to start in December. Once again I am reminded that life works at it's own pace , not mine and that perseverance ,and patience are skills I still need to practice.  

So if you have been waiting for your boat to come in , stay on the shore today, just because your ship is delayed doesn't mean it sank .

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Comments:

ironk...
Nov. 23, 2009 at 1:24 PM

I was so crazy with grief and depression and despair and I thought I'd never see the light of day.  Today, I know, things change.  They just change.  They are not always good changes nor are they always bad changes (I try not to qualify them today), but life is change, get used to it.  Today, the attitude I carry is one of gratitude and happiness, although I am still grieving on the inside, I am still sad more than depressed, but I know this too, shall change.

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spitf...
Nov. 25, 2009 at 4:34 PM

im on a boat.. a large weird akward boat.. and *hugs* to the person above me <3 life sucks but it doesnt always hurt..

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maidn
Nov. 26, 2009 at 11:15 PM

love ya babe 

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